Once there was a submarine. With a family that lived in it. Mr. Artemis. And Ms. Artemis. And 2 kids. Jane and ben! One time ben said “I hope we can go deep today" “Maybe" said Jane smiling. There were reaching the twilight zone. “Is that a piece of moving coral?” Said Ben. “Actually that’s called a frogfish ben, there try to attract prey by using a little thing fish like. Kind of like a fishing pole, and then they gobble the prey up in six milliseconds”. Said Jane. The frog fish was cool. “We are reaching the midnight zone” said Ms. Artemis “oh goody what creatures will be there"? Said ben asking. “Well there is a thing called the angler fish.” Said Jane telling her brother what creatures there where. Jane had a cat named “TumbleWiskers" it is a weird name but Jane named him when she was 5 years old. Now she's 12 and TumbleWiskers is 7 same age as ben. “Oh TumbleWiskers want to play fetch?” said ben. “TumbleWiskers is not a dog ben” said Jane. “Oh yeah" said ben “I got confused for a second that these were not dogs" said ben. “mom I see a fish I don’t think we have ever seen. Is it new discovered fish?” Said Jane “Wait I think you are right. I will see" said Mr. Artemis “wow its are first ever new discovered fish in the midnight zone" said Mr. Artemis. “Wow this is so exiting dad, But I did ask mom not you.” Said Jane “Very well then" said Mr. Artemis. After a long day the children where hungry. “what’s for dinner tonight dad, I sure am hungry" said ben. “Tonight we are having Pizza. Its cooking right now”. Said Mr. Artemis The family ate happily and enjoyed there delicious pizza. “Mom I want a dog" said ben. “Uh me and your dad will think about that ben" said Ms. Artemis “Bad news kids" said Mr. Artemis. “The powers out" The kids did not like power outs. Not one single bit. “I can’t see anything anywhere, plus it’s all ready super dark so now this Means its SUPER DARK" said ben dramatically “I will get glow sticks” said Jane “I think I tripped on the couch well I don’t know because of how dark it is" Said Ben. “No you tripped on me ben" said Jane weakly. “Sorry Jane I didn’t see were I was going I also couldn’t really Jane" Said ben “It’s Okay ben I know it was only a accident" said Jane “I got the glow sticks” said Mr. Artemis. “Oh dim light is better then nothing I guess" “hey the fish we discovered is back, It's checking us out cool!”. Said ben. “I can't drive the sub because I don’t know where the steering wheel is or how to drive when the lights are out” said Mr. Artemis. “I can’t see anything. Well I can see dim light" Said Jane. “AGAIN I want a dog please mom and dad” Said ben “We can’t right now The power is out" said Mr. Artemis. “so sad" said ben. “Uh oh I see we lost all power Something chewed the cables out, Were sinking" Said Ms. Artemis. “Ahoy your sub be sinking to?” said a strange voice “Yes it has been and we don’t know what to do” said Mr. Artemis “My names Captain Flint.” Said captain flint happily. “Hello captain flint how are you today" said ben. “I am good mate, So how are you?” Said captain flint “oh I’m great did you know we were sinking and could you help us? Please.” Said ben “Well yes I could. Well I used to be able to.” Said captain flint “Why not anymore? We really need help" . Said Mr. Artemis. Captain flint really didn’t know how at all, He was not even a captain at all. He just says he is. “Well sure I will help you.” Said captain flint. So he helped the Artemis family get back up, And soon the power actually went back on, “Hey let’s take a picture of that unknown creature now" said Jane. The picture clicked and that was that. They proved to science it was new (Witch it was) and got into scientist academy for it. Now ben Jane and Mr. Artemis and Ms. Artemis were off to get a golden retriever puppy. “so its going to be 8 weeks old?” said ben “Yes” said Mr. Artemis. “Yay I can’t wait are we there yet?” said ben. “not yet ben but soon we are very close”. Said Jane. There ben met its puppy “Lets call her “Lilly” please" said ben “Okay We will call her Lilly” Said Ms. Artemis. “Yay I can’t wait" said ben. “I have a conversation with The scientists today. And you are going to come to. Exited”? Said Mr. Artemis. “Yes I am Cant wait” Said Jane. Lilly woofed for yes. “So I heard Mr. Artemis you recently discovered a new creature in the water" said the Man. “Oh yes and I’m here to name it?” Said Mr. Artemis, “Yes so what name did you choose. It is a kind of dragonfish" Said the man “Well then I will name it the “Sunlit dragonfish" do you like it"? Said Mr. Artemis “Very well then" Said the man. “I will have to do more research on this" “I will study it" said Mr. Artemis “Another power out.” Said the man 24 hours later “No! I lost my 24 hours of data and studying.” Said Mr. Artemis. “Oh that’s not good" said the man “Not good indeed” said Mr. Artemis. “Oh no It's are anniversary tomorrow and we won’t be able To study on it when the powers out.” Said Mr. Artemis. “But I need to study more or I might lose my job.” Said The man “I might also lose my job because of it" said Mr. Artemis. “I also have been working on this data for 3 years and now its gone. (I FORGOT TO SAVE)” Said the man. “Lets go home" said Mr. Artemis. “Very well" said the man. “I lost all of my data for work” Said Mr. Artemis “Oh no dad" said Jane. “Wait I see some hope kids don’t give up.” Said Mr. Artemis “Tomorrow’s me and moms anniversary and if the Power out continues I we won’t get to celebrate it. The next day “The power out is over" Said Ben “yay I can’t wait to tell mom and dad". Said Jane. Mr. Artemis and Ms. Artemis celebrated it.
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7 comments
That was wonderful. It was very adventurous and you took the prompt very well. I think you are still young and I suggest you to use a grammar app called grammarly. There are grammatical errors that distracted me from enjoying the story. I am picking it out so that you can edit it before the contest closes. 1)Jane and ben! When you use a name, the starting letter should be capital. So ben is Ben. 2)One time ben said “I hope we can go deep today" “Maybe" said Jane smiling. There were reaching the twilight zone. This dialogue confused ...
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Hey, Joshie! I'm back, and I just wanted to let you know that I wrote a "Zombies Sound Safer Than My Family - Part 2." You had read the first and seemed to enjoy it, so I was just letting you know that I had made a second if you wanted to check it out. :)
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Wow! I really enjoyed reading this story; it was so full of great descriptions, and I loved the way you ended it! I know that right now I'm going to be one of the annoying people that asks you to read my story (or stories), but it would be a big help. Don't feel like you have to :)
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I love this!! Great job❤️
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I love the adventurous spirit of this story! Great work!
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Oh wow! it’s soooo amazing!
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This is a wonderful story.It was very adventurous.You took the prompt very well.Great job keep it up.Keep writing.I love the title. Would you mind to read my story “The dragon warrior part 2?”
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