49 comments

Funny Fiction Gay

Where did I leave my keys?


Where do people usually leave keys?


How often does a woman in her mid-to-late forties lose her kids?


Keys not kids


How often does a woman in her early-to-mid-to-late forties lose her keys?


Is losing your keys a sign of dementia?


DEMENTIA HOME REMEDY CURES NO WESTERN MEDICINE


What is a romantic dinner you can make for your 20th wedding anniversary?


What is a romantic dinner with ingredients that cost less than $60?


What is a romantic dinner with ingredients that cost less than $70?


What are cheap restaurants near me that have candles on the tables and nice tablecloths?


Where is the nearest ATM?


What do you get someone for a 20th wedding anniversary?


Where do I buy china?


How much china do I need to buy as a gift for my husband?


Do men like china?


What is the male form of china?


What music do men in their 50’s like?


What do I do if my husband isn’t romantic enough?


How to cook a steak at home


What is the difference between medium rare and medium?


How many affairs is too many?


Which commandment is infidelity?


Percentage of couples that survive an affair


Percentage of couples that survive two affairs


Percentage of couples who survive more than five affairs


What’s that song that goes “Da dee da da da dee you’re not?”


What is my rising moon?


What is my husband’s rising moon?


What are the best rising moons?


Do men stop talking as they get older?


Do men stop talking to their wives after they have an affair?


Do men stop talking to their wives after they have two affairs?


Do men stop talking to their wives after they have more than two affairs?


What perfume is best after infidelity to say “I don’t forgive you, but I’m trying?”


Where did I leave my keys?


Sexy lingerie for women over forty


Less sexy lingerie for women over forty


Couples Counselors near me


Marriage therapists near me


What is the difference between a couples counselor and a marriage therapist?


What to do about a wrinkle near your eye


Is the wrinkle near my eye cancer?


WRINKLE EYE CANCER REMEDIES


What color hair turns on men over fifty?


Where to buy cheap hair dye on sale?????


My daughter says I sound like I’m spiraling what is spiraling am I doing it?


Will cheap hair dye make my hair fall out?


Are men still turned on by the smell of apples?


How to bake an apple pie


Ingredients for an apple pie that cost less than ten dollars


What was that movie where the couple was unhappy and then happy again?


How many Oscars does Meryl Streep have?


Where did I leave my keys?


Can adopting a dog save a marriage?


Cocktails for a 20th wedding anniversary


Why does my house always smell like lavender when there’s no lavender in it?


Does smelling lavender mean I have a brain tumor?


BRAIN TUMOR HOME REMEDIES


Why doesn’t my daughter call as much???


Things daughters like talking about with their mothers


Home decor for making your husband want to stay faithful


Why are couches so expensive?


Supply Chain Furniture Problem but explain it like I’m a toddler


How long ago was my senior prom?


Is smoking sexy again?


Is milk bad again?


Is it okay to wear high heels on hardwood floors?


How old is too old for high heels?


Do men still like high heels?


Do high heels give you bunions?


BLOCK IMAGES OF BUNIONS FOREVER


Romantic spots where you can see the moon


Can moonlight cure potential eye wrinkle cancer?


Should I have an affair?


Should I have two affairs?


Should I have more than two affairs?


Who should I have an affair with?


Are mailmen still attractive?


How often do mailmen have affairs with women on their route?


What song will remind my husband that we love each other?


What’s that song about porcupines that love each other and the Sailor and Teena Marie sang it?


What’s Venmo and why does my daughter keep asking me to download it?


What romantic movies are out right now in theaters not on the tv?


Is gambling still sexy?


How much does it cost to gamble?


Casinos near me


Does Seven Rivers still have penny slots?


Does Seven Rivers have a steakhouse?


How many stars does the Seven Rivers Steakhouse have?


Is two and a half stars good?


Does the Seven Rivers Steakhouse smell like smoke because they still let people smoke in the casino I don’t know why it should be illegal everywhere but it’s not why isn’t it illegal everywhere why are people allowed to do whatever they want with no consequences and the rest of us just have to deal with it like smoking indoors or cheating on their spouses or falling out of love with their wives just because maybe she doesn’t dye her hair as much as she used to or she doesn’t know what her rising moon is or she calls the daughter you had with her together too many times because she misses her and she’s lonely and you won’t talk to her and and and and and and


Does the government really look at these questions?


Why am I seeing ads for anxiety medication on my phone?


Are you talking to my phone?


Does that medication actually work?


How much does anxiety medication cost if I get it from Canada?


How long does it take for


How


How much does a singles cruise cost?


Do they still have singles cruises?


Divorce attorneys near me


Divorce lawyers near me


What’s the difference between a lawyer and an attorney?


How much does a mailman earn?


Do mailmen make good husbands?


Do mailmen like having steak for dinner?


Love poems about mailmen


Love poems for mailmen


Why didn’t I become a poet?


Why didn’t I leave sooner?


Why do I have a freckle on my left arm that wasn’t there before?


Is the freckle on my left arm cancer?


REMEDIES FOR DIVORCEES WITH ARM CANCER


If the government is reading this, can you help me with my taxes?


Explain Venmo to me again


Explain Vemno to me like I’m a toddler


Do toddlers use Venmo?


Where did I leave my keys?


Do you know where I left my keys?


Am I okay?


Am I doing okay?


Will I be okay?


Will I be okay?


Will I be okay?


Will I?


Will I?


Are you there?


Hello?


Hello?


Just let me know if you see my keys.

February 17, 2023 23:23

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49 comments

Mary Robert
15:37 Feb 26, 2023

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Michelle Oliver
10:19 Feb 25, 2023

This was so good. I loved the way her search history can really tell her story, and the slow downward spiral of her relationship. Such a masterful way to tell a story using fragments, almost like a poem. Well done.

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Story Time
17:29 Feb 25, 2023

Thank you so much, Michelle!

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Laurel Hanson
20:38 Feb 23, 2023

Fantastic job telling a story through this fragmented search history concept. Online searching might reveal more about us than we care to admit, as is the case here, and might reveal more of our true selves than we do to our loved ones, as, again, seems to be the case here. The story, while amusing is also carries the truth with it; our disconnected lives leading to an existential crises ...or is it the other way around. Awesome job with this prompt.

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Story Time
20:54 Feb 23, 2023

Thank you so much, Laurel.

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Aeris Walker
13:16 Feb 18, 2023

I couldn’t wait to see all the creative stories in response to these wild prompts this week, and yours definitely did not disappoint. In fact, I think you nailed it. Favorite lines: “What’s that song that goes “Da dee da da da dee you’re not?””—this is 100% me and the internet. “Less sexy lingerie for women over forty”—LOL! “Does smelling lavender mean I have a brain tumor? BRAIN TUMOR HOME REMEDIES”—are you really going down the internet rabbit hole if you don’t think you have cancer at least once? “Explain Vemno to me like I’m a to...

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Story Time
20:43 Feb 18, 2023

Thank you so much, there was a second there where I contemplated having her decide to off him, but that felt like it would need a lottttttt more space

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Jim Firth
09:42 Feb 18, 2023

BLOCK IMAGES OF BUNIONS FOREVER - had me chuckling hard. The absurd searches really stand out when they come after a long run of prosaic ones. You can see this woman's train of thought as she 'spirals'. All the callbacks are ace. Really nice rhythm to it, as well :)

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Story Time
20:44 Feb 18, 2023

Thank you so much. It was fun to write.

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06:16 Feb 18, 2023

A story told strictly through search questions! Great idea to match the prompt and you kept the tension going throught the rainstorm of middle aged anxiety and drama.

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Story Time
20:45 Feb 18, 2023

Thank you so much, Scott. Out of the box is usually my sweet spot.

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