Ghost Radio

There was a radio at the bottom of the shipping boxes. Mandy hadn’t known it was there. She certainly hadn’t ordered it.

She’d ordered some pendants. They were supposed to help vampires go out during the day. There were vials in the center. When the vial ran out of liquid, it would no longer work.

Mandy had opened the boxes, and regretted leaving open space for the pendants near the top of the wall. That was a few trips up and down a ladder. But she’d given herself no choice. The lower area was occupied with some magical smoke bombs, some imbued rocks, and even some spell books. Any idiot could be a wizard, as the saying went. (Maybe the books would help someone else more than they’d helped her.)

She’d shoved her wand into her hair like a pin. Then she grabbed as many pendants as she could, went up the ladder, hung them up, and repeated the process. At least they didn’t weigh much. As she completed each layer, she’d take some bubble wrap out of the box to get to the next layer of pendants. It was as she lifted bubble wrap near the bottom that she found a radio instead.

Mandy frowned, and picked up the radio, looking it over. It was smooth in her hands. She probably would’ve noticed the extra weight if she’d ever picked up the boxes, but she’d left them just inside the shop, where the delivery man had brought them.

The radio was large. She needed both hands to hold it, at least. It was wooden, and rectangular, easy to pack. There were a few thin lines across the center where sound came out, and a round thing that looked like it should be a clock, but she was pretty sure wasn’t. It looked like an oldie, from the 1940s if Mandy were to guess. But when she turned it on, fiddling with the dials, the voice sounded even older, from the 1930s or even 20s maybe.

“Thanks for tuning in folks. That concludes our baseball segment.”

Mandy frowned. She wasn’t sure who would hide a radio in a pendant shipment, but she didn’t need one. She had a more modern one upstairs that had a handle you could carry it by, and played CDs.

So she went outside, planning to leave it on the curb for someone else, or the trash, if no one took it.

“A new song this week, we have-what do you think you’re doing?”

Mandy froze on the sidewalk, right before the curb.

“That’s better. I’m all for taking a walk, but I don’t think that’s what’s happening here.”

No doubt about it now. The radio was talking to her, specifically. Mandy jolted in surprise, a little cry dying on her lips. And in the process, she dropped the radio.

“Nooo!” the radio shouted.

“Gyaah!” Mandy cried.

Despite her shock, and fear, she managed to drop to her knees and catch the radio before it smashed on the curb.

“Whew. That was a close one,” the radio said.

Mandy nodded shakily. “I-you’re some kind of enchanted radio then?”

“Enchanted? No, no. I’m haunted.”

Mandy almost dropped the radio again. This time, it just slipped in her grip, and she was able to correct that without any lunging.

“I wish you would stop doing that,” the radio commented.

“You-you’re . . . a ghost?” Mandy managed.

“All my life. Well . . . you know what I mean.”

Despite the topic, he was using the same cheery voice he’d announced baseball with. It was kind of creepy.

Mandy didn’t have much experience with ghosts, only hearing about them from others. From what she understood, some were benign, but some were out for bloody revenge, and many were driven insane by their lack of body. That last group couldn’t really be argued to have intentions, but were still beings you’d want to avoid. Those weren’t odds she liked.

“So . . . why did you come here?” Mandy finally managed.

“I didn’t come by choice.”

“Huh?”

“I’m haunting the radio, and someone shipped it here. I guess they were getting tired of me.”

“So, you’re just haunting this radio exclusively? Why?”

There was silence for a moment. When he spoke again, it sounded like he was smiling, but the announcement tone was gone. “Well, it’s hard to be a ghost, isn’t it? Existing and interacting with the world without a body? I could try that, or I could just possess something. New, impromptu body.”

Mandy snorted. Maybe she shouldn’t have. But describing a radio that way sounded so absurd.

Still, she could understand, in a way. No form of magic was all that it was cracked up to be. She couldn’t blame him if the alternatives were a struggle.

They were both silent for a moment, the only sound being the radio crackling. As Mandy stood there, she acknowledged it was odd she’d been able to turn this on without an obvious source of power. Guess that was haunted radios for you.

She could still wash her hands of this, leave the radio on the curb. She was running a small, independent store, with barely any help or magic. She didn’t need trouble in her life. But a large part of her didn’t want to leave. The radio guy didn’t seem like trouble. If she was really worried, she could just leave the radio in the shop, and hang an amulet to keep ghosts out over her bedroom. He’d be some company, and a box to listen to music on. Both could be nice.

Also. . .

If he was telling the truth. . .

Well, there was. . .

“Aren’t you a wizard? Why didn’t you make any of these yourself?”

“Why bother carrying a wand at all if you can’t use magic?”

“Nine years for two spells? Wow. I guess any idiot can’t be a wizard after all.”

***

Mandy wiped the top of glass display cabinet up front. No customers right now, though one could come in at any moment.

Soft music filled the shop. The ghost radio played a lot of old music, but he knew how to make sure Mandy never got annoyed by that. Even better, he could play ones almost no one knew about anymore, because the songs hadn’t stood the test of time.

The song ended and radio man thanked the singer like they were playing live in front of him. “And now for the weather.”

Mandy was glad the air conditioning in the building worked. From what radio man was saying, she’d need it.

She grimaced at the thought, and stretched her arm further than before to wipe. A goblet on the counter wobbled, spinning on the spot, before it fell off.

Mandy let out a cry and tried to catch it, of course, but it fell in the wrong direction. It shattered on the floor on the guest’s side of the counter. Mandy sighed, and went to grab a dustpan. At least it hadn’t been valuable. If it had been, she wouldn’t have left it on top like that.

“I can distract any guests if they come in,” radio man offered. “They won’t notice you sweeping right away.”

Mandy just paused, and stared at him. “Why would that be a problem?”

“Well, they’d probably ask why you didn’t just use magic to fix it. I know you’re sensitive about not being a good wizard, so I thought you’d want to avoid that.”

Mandy slammed her free hand on the counter, the glass top rattling precariously. Yes, she wasn’t good at magic. She didn’t need him pointing it out or giving her pity. She’d had enough of both in high school.

“You’re not good at being a ghost, but you don’t hear me calling you out!”

Based on the silence that followed, broken only by the radio crackling, they both knew what was wrong with that statement. Radio man decided to ignore it though, apparently. “You’re right. I’m not good at being a ghost. But I’ve never denied it. I’m much better at being a radio host. You, on the other hand? I worry about you. You work selling magical items to people who are better at magic. It seems like you’re lining yourself up to be upset or jealous sometimes.”

She was lined up to be upset right now, and look who she could blame for that.

But lashing out wouldn’t help her case. She ran a store; she knew how to avoid exploding. Instead, she settled on a reaction that was genuine, but didn’t look irrational. She crossed her arms and sighed. “Regardless of what creative form you’re taking, you’re still a ghost who’s bad at it right now. I run this shop because I enjoy it. It’s true, I’m not good at magic. I studied it for nine years and can do a total of two spells. That would be embarrassing to point out to most people, and it will suck at times, but that would be true no matter what I did with my life. You’re in a similar boat. Tell me, am I wrong?”

“Well . . . no.”

“Then there you have it. I’ll run this shop because I like to. I’ve made peace with my lack of skills in life.”

And it didn’t matter how debatable that was, she was pretty sure radio man believed it.

There was a pause.

The radio crackled with a sigh. “Alrighty. So, is there anything I can actually help you with, or no?”

“All I need help with is sweeping this cup,” Mandy said, raising the dustpan for emphasis.

“I can’t do that.”

Mandy grinned. “I know.”

Then she set to work sweeping, and a moment later, music from the 30s filled the air.