Someone Else's Thriller Movie

‘There has to be some way through.’ Jasper said confidently. ‘We need to stick together, alright?’

I wasn’t sure about that, but it wouldn’t be very helpful to say otherwise. I shone my torch around, trying to get my bearings.

Why had I ever thought this was a good idea? I haven’t been spelunking in years. It's definitely not like riding a bicycle. You can and do forget. I shivered; it was getting cold down here.

Britta shivered too, and Jasper peeled off his waterproof coat and draped it around her shoulders. She smiled adoringly up at him.

I was tempted to say, ‘Hey guys, I’m right here,’ but I didn’t.

I never do.

Maybe that’s why she’s about to dump me for Jasper the second we get out of these awful caves. He’s just way more interesting. Oh, and there’s all their history. I just think it’s funny how angry she was when I mentioned that going on a spelunking trip with her ex-boyfriend probably isn’t the best idea.

‘Are you accusing me of something?’ she demanded. Well, what can you say to that?

When Britta and Jasper met up again, for the first time in at least two years, they crackled with chemistry. The air was full of it. Like some sort of airborne disease.

Ebola, maybe.

I was so tempted to say, “I told you so”, but I didn’t. I said it in my head, at least. Anyway, the only person who's losing out here is me.

Her boyfriend.

It was probably my imagination, but I thought I could almost hear the rain drumming against the rock, far above our heads. I imagined it running down the hillside in thick rivulets, collecting and pooling and slowly, slowly filling up these underground caves with water.

‘No time to waste, guys.’ Ellie, our self-appointed group leader, went first. She waded into the icy water in the center of the cave, hissing at the cold.

‘Britta should go next.’ Jasper said authoritatively, his hands hovering over her shoulders. ‘Be careful.’

Oh, for heaven’s sake. The longing glances were making me sick. I’m tempted to break up with Britta myself, without waiting to see if we make it out of this place alive.

Jasper naturally goes next, leaving me to bring up the rear. The water’s almost chest-deep, and water drops keep splashing on my glasses. I can’t even wipe them away, because the rest of me is soaking, too.

‘Ted?’ Ellie called back, seemingly the only person who remembers I’m alive. All I can see are the beams of four torches, reflecting off the water.

‘I’m OK.’ I said. ‘Just keep going.’

‘When we get to the far end of this cave, there should be a narrower kind of passage.’ Ellie said. ‘We’ll have to go single file. We might even have to swim; it could be deep. There should be a bit of higher ground, first.’

Next to me, the water rippled suddenly. I flinched, which was the worst thing to do. Now there were ripples everywhere.

‘Did you guys see that?’ I said nervously.

‘See what?’ Britta said, sounding annoyed.

‘The water. There was something in the water.’

‘Oh, knock it off, Ted.’

‘I’m serious!’ I couldn’t help feeling a little outraged. ‘Do you think I’d make something like that up, at a time like this?’

‘It’s probably a current.’ Jasper said, speaking slowly as if he thought I was an idiot. ‘There’s water flowing into these caves from a dozen different areas.’

I didn’t bother pointing out that I knew that. I just kept my eyes peeled, and wished I was wading along right at the back.

‘OK, guys.’ Ellie said. ‘Just a little furth….’ Then she screamed.

Boy, did that scream echo in the underwater cave. Ellie disappeared underwater as if something had yanked her, and Britta started screaming too.

Ellie resurfaced a few feet away, and Jasper thrashed through the water towards her.

‘Something’s got me!’ Ellie shrieked, her eyes full of pain and terror, choking up blood. ‘Something’s got me!’

She clung onto Jasper, and he towed the two of them to the rocky bank at the end of the cave. Britta had had the good sense to get to safety, and I was following along quickly.

It was terrifying. The water was churned up, something was churning it up. I saw a flash of a long, thick, reptilian tail, skimming through the water. Maybe an alligator, or a crocodile? But how could something like that get down here?

It was awful, the water splashing everywhere, waves washing over my head. My glasses washed away, and I felt blindly for the rocky bank.

Then the four of us were huddled together, safe.

Well, relatively safe. We were out of the water, at least. I squinted at the dark water and saw what could have been the ridged backbone of something, something definitely not an alligator or a crocodile.

Ellie was lying on her back, moaning in pain.

Something had sunk its teeth into her leg, leaving jagged triangles of red. Whatever it was, its teeth had torn through her thick spelunking trousers as if they were paper. She'd lost a lot of blood.

Britta hissed through her teeth. ‘This is bad. Really, really bad. What the hell was that?’

‘I don’t know.’ Jasper said, staring grimly out at the water. ‘But I do know that we need to get out of here. Ellie, which way do we need to go?’

‘Once you get past this next cave, there’s very little water.’ Ellie managed; teeth gritted. ‘That’s the long, narrow one.’

‘Would that…thing be able to get in there?’ I spoke up. Nobody really paid much attention to me.

‘Probably.’ Jasper answered dismissively. ‘There’s water everywhere. Look, Ellie can’t walk.’

‘So, what now?’ Britta asked.

‘We should go and get help.’ Jasper said. ‘Me and Ted will go.’

Hang on! I thought, horrified. I didn’t volunteer for that!

What were my options, though, really? Sit here and wait for the water to rise, or at least try?

So, I didn’t say anything. I just nodded, and let Jasper talk on and on, just the way he wanted.

Why do I always do that?

‘I’ll stay here with Ellie.’ Britta said, tearing up a piece of fabric to bind Ellie’s leg as best she could. Her eyes were fixed on Jasper.

She never even looked at me. ‘Be safe.’ Britta whispered.

Not to me.

I coughed, and that got her attention.

Jasper was leaning out of the long, narrow hallway-style cave, trying to see whether it was safe.

‘Hey, Ted.’ Britta reached out, plucking at my sleeve. She didn’t quite meet my eye when I turned to look at her. Her gaze slipped away, not quite focusing on me.

‘Ted, I…we need to talk.’ Britta murmured. ‘Now’s probably not the time, but…I want to sit down and have a real talk. About us.’

‘We can talk now.’ I said.

She laughed awkwardly. ‘No, not just before…’ her eyes skittered past, looking at the dark water. ‘Later, OK?’

‘OK.’ I said, as if I didn’t know exactly what she wanted to say. She was going to say that I was a great guy, that she liked me so much, but Jasper – well, her and Jasper went way back, right? He was the love of her life. I was just – a stopgap. I was just the guy who she tried to convince herself looked like Jasper. Come on, though. What knock-off model is as good as the real thing?

‘Ted, we need to go.’ Jasper wasn’t looking at me either. He was looking at Britta. ‘We need to get help for Ellie, OK?’

‘OK.’

Once again, I couldn’t say what I wanted to. What did I do? I smiled understandingly at Britta.

‘It’s OK, Brit. It’s OK.’

She smiled, a little reassured, and turned back to Ellie. I was forgotten already.

I looked at Jasper, trying hard not to hate him. ‘Let’s go.’

*

It was way deeper here. Almost immediately, we had to swim, awkwardly trying to hold our heads above water. We doggie-paddled along the narrow hall, expecting to feel teeth clamp around our ankles at any moment.

‘I see it.’ Jasper managed, breathlessly. ‘There’s a gap, a few feet above the water. It’s going to be a struggle to reach.’

You can say that again. We reached the end and realized that we couldn’t reach the gap at the top.

There it was – safety. Just beyond our fingertips.

‘Give me a boost.’ Jasper said.

We looked at each other for a long moment. In the ensuing silence, we quite clearly heard it.

Splashing.

Something was swimming down the hallway towards us.

Of course it was.

And Jasper had just decided that his life was worth more than mine. He’d asked me to give him a boost, meaning he’d get to safety first.

We both knew we only had seconds.

‘Do it for her.’ Jasper said, gaze boring into mine. ‘Hurry, or we’ll both die. If we die, so do the girls.’

I should have told him to go to hell. I should have told him that he’d taken my girlfriend, he was taking my friends, he couldn’t have my life, too. I should have just thrown myself into the jaws of whatever it was and doomed us both.

I didn’t, of course. Spineless and boring, that's me.

‘Step into my hands.’ I said, lacing my fingers together. Jasper stepped into my hands, best he could, and I threw him upwards.

He scrabbled for a grip, digging his fingers into the rock. I bet that hurt. Then he was pulling himself up, up to safety.

‘OK.’ Jasper turned around, eyes glinting in the shine of my torch. ‘Give me your hand, Ted.’

I reached up, and we were so close. I nearly got his hand. I felt the warm wetness of his skin. Then a hot, burning pain shot through my leg, and something pulled me underwater.

Oh, hell.

I didn’t even hear Jasper yelling at me, my ears were so full of water. Or maybe he wasn’t yelling at all.

I think it was spinning me round and round under the water, like a crocodile. The water tasted weirdly metallic, and I realized that it was probably my own blood. I couldn’t even see the damn thing, the water was pitch black.

I kicked out with the leg that wasn’t halfway down a monster’s throat and caught nothing but more water.

I hadn’t taken a breath before I went under, and my lungs were already burning.

Wow, that was a lot of blood.

I was still kicking, but more weakly now.

It didn’t hurt anymore. That was weird. My whole life had narrowed down into a watery tumble drier cycle, spinning and spinning and spinning.

I couldn’t even remember why I was struggling anymore. I wasn’t getting my leg out of the creature’s maw, not now. Even if I could, what then?

This was a happy ending, right? Jasper and Britta would be together. Star-crossed lovers, reunited at last. Ellie would probably make it. Everyone liked her.

But me, the boyfriend who nobody really liked? Oh, hell. I was the side character in someone else’s thriller movie. Of course I was going to die.

The monster had stopped spinning now. We started sinking, going further and further down into the black.

I was OK with this. Why was I OK with it? I’m sure there was something wrong with what was happening, but I couldn’t for the life of me remember what it was.

I closed my eyes. I was never one for self-expression.

Who cares what I have to say, right?

I’m a plot device in someone else’s story.