I felt kinda left out after the concert ended, no discerning people, all boorish judgemental. I deserted to one of the three unknown paths that laid in front of me, without anyone knowing. Above me beautified the clear terrestrial sky. My current state of mind was totally unstable to describe any thoughts running through my head. I was just loving the feeling of solitude and darkness. The current winds started to be chilly and cold, and soon the sky became full of heavy dark clouds. I kept walking with fast footsteps and finally reached a lonely far area and ended up finding a quite gorgeous looking hotel. Well, no guards at the gate, none at the reception area too. But a quite tall, dark man, blonde hair, with a skinny tough figure and a smile too catchy to ignore. He gave me a warm welcome and his appearance looked like he was a worker or staff
' I don't see many people staying here', I said.
' Uhm, it's not indeed in a crowded city where people talking like solitary mournful crows, so yeah don't expect many customers', he replied with a quite good humorous attitude.
And I could not but ended up with a little giggle.
He assisted me to my room. 'May I ask what would this beautiful lady love for dinner', he inquired.
Me feeling a little awkward responded 'whats there may I guess?'
'I'm really good at cooking u know', he stated. ' You can join me downstairs when you're done freshening up'.
'Well, alright!' I replied.
The canteen was really big and beautiful, but I was the only person there which was quite surprising.
' Hey', he whispered by my shoulders.
As a fact of my reflex actions, I moved a few steps front.
'Oh it's you,' I replied. ' Well, what do we have?'
'Um spicy Vegan Eggplant pasta?' he inquired.
'Oh my God! you made it?' I exclaimed.
As having an empty stomach, I started eating noticing that he was just sitting by my side and glaring at me. That was kind of mystifying, to be honest.
'You cook awesome,' I commented.
'Anything for a bewitching lady,' He replied. And all I could do was blush.
The weather was getting rougher, it was a downpour. There were deafening thunder and distinct lighting. I was feeling very exhausted too.
'I guess I must go and take some rest now', I said in a very low voice.
'Sure, can I assist you?' he asked.
'No, it's alright, I'm all good', I responded.
'No please allow me', he insisted.
That's when I felt really eccentric considering his behavior. He attended me up to my room.
'Anyways, have a good night', I said.
He interrupted by preventing me from closing the door and pushing it forward 'Can I get a tip? I do deserve one right?'
'What do you mean?', I sternly asked.
'Maybe you', he replied.
'Excuse me, I was just being good. It doesn't mean I would prefer you to be filthy with me', and I pushed him back.
I could see his eyebrows pulled down together, wide-open glaring eyes, a face expressing much pain and anger. And I slammed the door at his face.
I just jumped on the bed, with an extremely dismayed and disturbed state of mind. I was just looking at the ceiling with my eyes wide open, being dumbfounded for a moment. Finally, I decided to take a warm quick shower.
I was dressing up wearing my cozy tank top and my night shorts. I advanced my fingers over the table to turn off the lamp and there was an envelope. With an unknowing eager I opened it up. That made my blood run cold.
It was my photo. My photo ... when I was .... taking the shower. I-i-i even didn't carry a-a-a cam-ca-camera with me. T-t-there were no CCTV too. My body was trembling with fear. I tried to calm myself down by calling up my sister, but the network was too low. I hugged my pillow, turned the lights off, and closed my eyes. I felt a heavy presence behind me as if someone was there. SOMEONE ACTUALLY WAS!
I turned on the lights looked back and it was just clear empty. I was afraid out of my wits. In the drop of a hat, I opened the door and ran downstairs.
The godown was totally chill and an eerie wind blew through the whole place. The lights were all flickering as if it's not gonna stay lit for long. I could hear some sort of tingling sounds and my footsteps followed it until I ended up in a small squared room. There was someone. I hid behind the wall and it was him! You know the guy. The cringy servicer or something, with two huge sword-like knives on his hand, and a lot of other murderous weapons besides. I could see him approach the power wire and in the blink of an eye he cut it down and the whole hotel was crunched with darkness(ignoring the fact that I was the only one there).
The contemporary happenings were so strange and terrific to handle.
Just when it added to my worst, there were light breaths on my ear. 'Wanna play?' he whispered. My heart sank a thousand times and returned back when I turned around to see his presence so close to my body. None of his faces could be seen as he was wearing a typical gas mask. He unhatched the gas bottles on his hands and a poisonous heavy smoke soon followed. Unless I could just figure everything out on my mind I started running, increasing my pace on every floor. Faster than my feet could. And he was hunting behind me. Running towards me!
It was the highest floor of the hotel and I ended up in a cave-like room and he disappeared. I walked forward tiptoeing, with super silent steps. There were cobwebs all around. Darkness like fog but just a dim light above a huge mirror.
On the mirror surface, there were many photos of girls pinned with nails and meat. A lot of them actually. I was quaking in my boots. Regretting the fact that I should've never been here. I could not control the storm inside my body followed by the photos I passed of every girl. I was drowning in suppressed depression until the last picture, I WAS DEAD. It was my photo. The one during my shower. My heart missed a beat, and I stood scared stiff. Everything became vague and I was unable to decide what to do.
I started running again, the darkness was an extra touch to my current situation and I was in a room that literally intensely stunk, of rotten flesh...... hh-hu-human flesh. I could hear sharp footsteps. Oh my god, he was there again, right there standing a few feet in front of me. My body was fatigued and drained. He was approaching me with those fatal stained knives in his hand. I stood there like a dead statue as behind me there was no way to escape. Even though I was half dead, I convinced my brain that I was strong and brave enough. I took a pin from the edge of my shorts and waited for his last step. He was just a meter away from me. I could hear my own sharp intakes of breath. I inserted the pin on the side of his chest, pushed hardback, and flashed! Ran all the path down and I do could feel he lost track of me. It was the last floor. The door was just ahead of me but wait....
It was closed. I used my clips to try opening the lock. I banged, screamed but no one was there, except him. Once again his steps were distinctly heard and this time the blood-curling steel sound was more clear. I was fraught with fear. I couldn't find any scope to break free. I started crying and begging and his evil laugh echoed all over.
'What do you want?', I cried.
'Your flesh', he replied.
He pulled my leg and kept dragging me. My hands helplessly getting no friction on the floor and my body giving up.
Just at that moment, I saw reflections of moonlight from the right`. A WINDOW! my mind beeped! With all the force my body could gain that time, I kicked him and ran following the light of hope. Took something heavy by my path and broke the glass into fragments. Tardily, I was outside of the hotel, but he didn't leave me so fast. Now he was running behind me speedy like a hungry wolf. I knew my path back to the light, to the city, where I came from. I just needed the courage and enough energy to keep running and to run faster than his pace which was turning real hard. I cried, wailed, beseeching for help! But not a humanly figure could be seen. A few moments later I could see the city lights, the lit roads, with a small number of people but to be honest a lot far. My legs couldn't take it anymore. They were completely wearied. I just had to keep them going for some time.
I was so near and my legs just stopped. I couldn't run further. I gave up hope on life. But...
a moment of tranquility overdosed my mind to look back and see there was no one chasing me anymore. There were breaths of relief and it was a mixture of shock and happiness. The unknown dark figure just vanished in dust particles.
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The godown was totally chill - what is a godown? This is also a good tale. You manage a superb horror/thriller scenario. The scenes are vivid and the transformation of the man from appealing to creepy makes it stronger. You can't edit, but for future stories, look at the longer paragraphs and see if they stay on a single topic. When they start to change, begin a new paragraph. Usually, three to five sentences is the length you want a paragraph to be. When they are longer, look for a good dividing point.
In eastern Asia, godown is a warehouse, usually at the bottom of a building. Yeah, really wanted the transformation good. Glad, you liked it. Well, I see, thank you for that information :)