PARADISE LOST

Of all the apples on the tree, she had to pick mine.

From the start, I want everyone to know that I do not understand why I got punished.

I want to know why.

This is all a load of nonsense.

Someone must help the brother worm.

My very existence is in complete accordance with God's commandments.

Why was then my apple torn from the tree and brutally damaged by those two idiots, Adam and Eve?

Here I am in the apple, cooling off, enjoying resting after a hearty lunch.

Lying on my back, listening to the sounds of pleasure that my body emits before it almost ends up between Eve's teeth.

"What is your problem, Eve?" I shouted, but she pretended not to hear me.

She always does that.

A good portion of the apple disappeared into her mouth, together with my wardrobe.

I felt completely naked, exposed for everyone else to see me.

I had barely caught my breath when the teeth were in action again - this time Adam's teeth.

"Hey dude, why are you trashing my crib?" And Adam pretended not to hear me.

The bed, wardrobe, and small cupboard disappeared into Adam's mouth.

I thought I was gone, man, but they had enough, so they just threw my apple (along with me in it) to the ground.

Like we are trash.

How rude.

Both were douchebags who ignored what we said to them.

And God gave them power over us, and they could understand us. How often have I seen Adam talking to a parrot?

How can he speak to her and not the others?

Hypocrite.

And Eve was no better.

She hides from Adam that she is spending time together with the snake.

I notice all that, but it does not interest me.

At least I was not interested until now.

I lived in that apple peacefully, spaciously, and undisturbed by anyone.

In paradise, all animals lived in peace; there was no reason to fear. We did not even know what fear was.

Until the teeth of Eve and Adam taught me what fear is.

That was not pretty, man.

It was not pretty at all.

If you ask me, these two really deserve each other.

God appointed them the only people in paradise to rule and live in peace and prosperity.

And what do they do as a sign of gratitude?

The one thing he forbade them to do.

To eat apples from the tree of knowledge.

Especially not my apple.

How hard is it to do that?

They had a thousand other fruits and plants in the garden.

What was so special about the apple?

They should have known there would be consequences.

God does not like his commandments taken for granted.

I like to think that He got mad because they destroyed my crib. Yes, that was not cool.

But the truth is, he was angry that they didn't listen to him, not because of my apple.

Which is not cool at all.

We have rights here, too, I guess.

God thundered like never before.

Heaven had never looked darker than it did at that moment.

Even those two idiots felt fear, hiding from Him in the bushes.

As if you can hide from Him who sees everything.

At least that is how the story goes about God, that he sees everything.

Not that I doubt it; I'm just saying that such a story is circulating around.

You can't always believe everything you hear here.

Considering we're all cool with each other, there's no action in paradise for Him to attend to.

It's pretty dull here.

Because if it wasn't, God would visit those two idiots more often than he did. Rarely did He appear.

God took his anger out on them.

Listening to Him scold them and seeing how terrified they looked was a pleasure.

Maybe He showed them His teeth, that's why they looked so scared.

As far as I could gather, the punishment for their disobedience was expulsion from paradise.

I almost jumped in the air with joy.

That is right, God!

Remove those two from heaven and leave us to live in peace, the eternal lives you so generously gave us.

Generously?

What a fool I am to believe that.

I knew it was too good to be true.

Since those two left paradise, God has been here all the time.

He is not in a good mood and is more angry towards all animals.

The snake messed up the most.

She persuaded Eve to bite the apple from the tree of knowledge - my apple, and for that, she suffered severe consequences.

Then He began to throw all the animals out of paradise in the same way as those two idiots.

That is not right, man.

It is not our fault.

Fewer and fewer of us remain in paradise.

I am among the last, still inhabiting this jungle, once called a garden.

God is less and less in this place; it looks neglected and abandoned. He does not notice me because I'm small and unimportant.

A common worm expelled from the apple to live underground. What kind of justice is that?

Yes, I live underground because there are no more apples.

There is no fruit at all, and I do not know the purpose of that archangel with the flaming sword that God has appointed to guard the garden.

Not that anyone wants to be here when everything has gone to hell.

I must watch what I say so that God doesn't punish me like those two.

As if I have not punished enough already.

Although entirely innocent, I lost my crib, peace of mind, and a few grams of body mass.

It is sad how low I have fallen, a worm that once lived in an apple on the tree of knowledge in paradise.

I observed from a height all the beauty of the Garden of Eden and enjoyed the warmth of the sun and the gentle breeze.

And then He just takes that from me because Eve listens to the snake.

And Adam listens to Eve.

They should listen to us, not pretend like they do not understand.

But, the time has come to leave this place like the others before me.

There is no reason to stay here any longer.

I am running out of food and quality company.

I will look for another place to stay and forget everything.

At least I lived in paradise.

Not that anyone outside would believe me.

This paradise already looks lost.