The Unrequired Summoning

Life is short - you know how I know?

Been twice on the cold metal table of surgeries. 

Been open up straight like a body for autopsy, not in Y but in a straight line, by a cold scalpel pressed down the skin, so sharp that it can cut your muscles just like a sharp knife would cut down easily a cheese. 

Lesson learned, you might die on table today, so please sign your Informed Consent Form before we head in to the controlled slaughterhouse.

The anxiety that kicks in it's so bad that you almost faint, but not really, you're barely breathing, even with the asthma inhaler, but not really, the fear of undergoing surgeries and not dying on the table it's so overwhelming that you can taste the soil's gritty texture and bitterness as you get swallowed in by the ten-feet hole.

I can barely distinguish the shadows from the darkness, but at least the creppy stuff it's still quite clear, like the tombstones, the angels overseeing the graves, and the dime orange light from the far away street lamps.

And that's why I'm about to do, what I'm about to do.

In the middle of the night, in the fucking cemetery.

In the middle of the god damn, stupid April.

I'm pouring coarse salt, grain by grain, with the plastic bag, bent over the dark muddy ground while forming a big circle around me, enough to fit in, enough to keep away the undesired.

According to the instructions now I should also form a so named triangle and add in objects of the person who's spirit I want to summon.

I can't hear anything else except for my heavy breathing with this spring shower, and whilst the running water is quite lukewarm, my fingertips got all pruney and my teeth hurt from the shivering.

My breathing's so noisy that I can't hear anything else around.

I know my anxiety went through the sky now, but damn, I swear I just saw something moving in front of me.

Out of fear, of desperation I pour fast what's left from the bag to finish the circle, I run in and I'm following with my flashlight the shadows that flicker in it’s light.

Fuck's sake, such a moron, such an idiot, what the fuck am I doing here?! I swear I feel my heart in my mouth and I’m dizy from the panting. If I'm not dying from whatever the fuck's in there imma die 'bout now from a heart attack.

I'm gripping the scout's knife wood handle, that my nails dig in to it. I've only brought it in case of something.

Fuck's sake June, what the fuck was in your head?! Swear you only got dumber after the surgeries. Braver, but dumber.

I'm casting lights over every little centimeter, one by one, and hold the light in every spot, carefully checking for movement.

Nothing at all. 

My imagination is only good at this shit.

The rain got louder and my breath has slowed down a bit, checking again, scanning every tree, every leaf, every tombstone, every flower pot and every picture of the deceased, nothing. 

The musky, earthy smell brings me back to reality.

Ok, that's good.

I grab the backpack, pull out another bag of salt, and cautiously, lingering, not moving, checking the surroundings again.

The graveyard seems awfully quiet.

The loneliness it's too damn quiet.

I bite the bag's plastic corner and pull strongly with my teeth until I make a small incision. The salty sea taste is so strong that I instantlly spit it out in to the muddy small pond next to me.

Bent over the circle, I draw another triangle in front of it and then retouch my circle with clumsy hands.

Ain't much, but I've bought quills, pergaments, drawing books, chisels, charchoals, hell, even a cold bowl of minestrone and some Chianti wine.

At leasts this is according to the holy internet's ways of summonning a spirit. Bring things that the person used to love.

Carefully adding the objects one by one in the triangle over the plastic bags where the salt was. 

I rummage in my bag for the candles and take them out to light them, placing each of them in the corners of the salty triangle.

I pull out the phone to read the instructions.

Clear your mind and focus on the person, visualise them clearly, feel their presence.

I closed my eyes and focused on the silence, on the raindrops falling one by one, dripping all over the still cemetery, with soaked skin, cold, tremebling like a wet puppy ready to go home.

"I call upon the spirit of Leonardo, with respect and love, to guide and inspire me as my muse. I ask for your presence and your wisdom."

Nothing.

Drip, drip, drip, drop. The raindrops fell louder. 

I scrutinize the area and nothing, everything sounds the same like before, no devil with red eyes in front of me, no howling, no smell of sulfur, rotten eggs, no-thing, not a single hair string of the old Leonardo, with the big nose in sight.

I didn’t worked. The instructions said that I need to wait a bit and if there's nothing, to check how I feel, if anything seems different. Yet all the same! Nah, it didn't work.

I feel the same, odd.

I grab my things as fast as I can, shove them in the bag and start running toward the car down the narrow alley.

There’s only have fragments of that night in my head, can't recall a lot, just flashes of the lit candles, circle, the run to the car.

And that was only yesterday!

-Hewo sis, you look white, ar you feelin 'alight?

The blond baby boy, was chewing on a banana and all the bits from it went all over his tiny round face.

-Hello Matt, sis is ok, where's mom?

-Mamma went car.

-Where's dad?

-Wolk.

I've left the cheesy oily pizza on the table and took Matt in my arms to move in the living room, turned on the TV cartoons, dropped him on the couch and set down next to the coffee table to draw while he was fascinated by the big screen.

-June, I'm going out to run some errands, can you keep an eye on Matt please?

-Yeah mom, when're coming back?

-Later on, can you put him to bed please, we're going to be late.

She left us all alone again, I'm sick of babysitting. And I have to sit here while they have fun.

For a Saturday evening the neighbourhood was oddly silent, not even the noisy stupid neighbors with their gaming yelling sessions were on.

I went to the window and inspected the area like a cop looking for trouble, even the lights were off in the area.

It's only 7:30 pm is everyone off?!

The hair on my arms got all up as I felt a chill down the spine.

Someone was watching me, I could feel it on the back of my neck.

Checked the streets again, no one, I've pulled the curtains and sat down next to the baby, on high alert and hyperfocused on the noises around.

I could hear the kitchen's sink dropson the plate, one by one the driplets were loud and clear, heck I can even hear the tik-toks of the clock on the wall.I can hear the boiler starting, and that’s in garage.

Almost instantly I've jumped accross the table to grab the remote and lower the volume.

Matt seemed quite chill for a baby, he was smiling towards the screen, altough nothing seemed remotely funny.

I swear babies would smile even at a finger.

-Yo Matt, do you want to play?

-No, dadda said it's time for nigh-nigh.

-Dadda?! What dadda Matt?!

The boy smiled and pointed towards the end of the couch, but nothing was there.

I've grabbed him as fast as I could and ran in to his room, dropping him in the crib then locked the door, with ears glued to the it listening to any sound that might replicate someone's footsteps.

Fuck's sake nothing!

-Daddaaaa! 

I heard him scream and then giggled, looking towards the window.

His little chubby fingers, full of sticky banana were reaching towards something in the air, up high.

I've got so scared, that I was barely breathing, the inhaled air was stopping in my mouth and my airways blocked.

-Matt, stop it there's no dadda, it's only sis in here, see no one.

But the baby kept on laughing even after I took him in my arms and turned him away from the window.

-What's wrong with you Matt, I yelled, making him cry.

We went in my parent's room and I burned down the incense and walked around the room with it.

I know it's all in my head and that this is a child's stupid imagination, but I've never seen him do this before.

We went in a corner and covered ourselves with blankets, I sincerely hoped this will all be gone.

With my condition I'm afraid I'll die any second now.

My heart was beating so fast, I wasn't sure if I have palpitations, anxiety attacks or I'm about to die.

His cry stopped and shortly his peaceful baby chest was moving slowly, he fell asleep in my arms, both covered in blankets. 

I couldn't move from here, it seemed like a safe spot and somehow I felt that if so much of a single hair was blown by my breath whatever the fuck was there it would kill us instantly.

My eyes were heavy, but I didn't want to sleep here, falling asleep would surely mean death so my only option is to stay awake.

-June! 

I've jumped from the spot and saw mom sitting in front of me with Matt in her arms napping.

-What happened, why are here and what's with the smell?

She looked around confused.

-I've...I've... there was dadda and he laughed.

-What?! she replied even more confused.

I've cried from the bottom of my patched heart and jumped in her protective hug, after a good heartfelt sobbing, even my breathing got a bit under control.

Like a stone I stood there, motionless.

If I will leave her side it will come back.

But dad come in and after checking every room in the house, every closet, every plate and the fridge, and the washing machine, dryer, everything, he convinced me to go to bed.

And like a little baby that I was at my very ripe age of 17, I've felt the need to listen to him, cos he knew best.

He left the lights on, tucked me in to bed, while covering my trembling body with the soft blue blanket.

-There's nothing see? Look, I'm going to check the room one more time with you as witness.

Then he meticulously looked under bed, under the table, in the closet. 

Nothing.

-I'll be back, he said with a soft calm voice.

Few minutes later he came back in with an ashtray that was smoking a lot, he had put in incences.

Placed the silver ashtray on the nightstand and then kissed my forehead with his pricking rough beard.

-There you go, you've got my good night protective kiss, I tucked you in, I've checked the room for monsters. All good love, you can go to sleep. I'll be right there if you need me.

He went away and I've checked the time with eyes barely open, it was 4:23 AM.

Damn son, that's been a long night.

I wasn't sure what was there, and honestly I was so scared, so tired, that I coudn't even process the whole thing.

The whys of why this happened. Grandpa was dead, but I have never heard Matt calling him, heck - he hasn't even borned when he died.

My train of thoughts ran wild for a while, until I fell in deep sleep.

The cold air in the room woke me. For some reason the fluffy wool blanket wouldn't keep my warm.

Once awake it felt like a nightmare of which I forgot about. I’ve headed over to the closet and pulled out the duvet and got cozy.

My eyelids were heavy and thoughout my repeated blinking to stare at the phone, I felt my hair spine getting all up and felt a presence, like someone steped on the wood planks.

Too scared to do anything I've looked around hidden under the duvet, and the corner of my eyes caught a glimpse of something in the shadows.

-Ciao bella! 

A men's deep voice came from the same direction, almost fainted, almost like he had dificulties speaking.

As fear gripped me I screamed from the tops of my lungs and ran over to my parents, in complete darkness.

-What now June?! You just went to bed!

I've went in between mom and dad in bed, hiding under the duvet.

-He was there, a man, he spoke something, but I couldn't understand.

-Jesus Christ June, he said exasperated and you could see he's still half asleep, it's just a nightmare, there's nothing. Stay put, I'm going to check.

Mom hugged me and held me close, like she was about to loose me.

He came back later on, pissed off, all sweatty.

-Ok, you sleep here, there's nothing, but if you wake me up once again you'll get in trouble.

-But dad, there's something there, please believe me! I started crying loudly and my snot was all over my face as I tried to clean it with my sleeve. 

-No June, there's nothing, just go to bed please, I have to wake up in 3 hours.

He ignored me completely and went under the covers.

Mom smiled at me with pity and nodded towards the bed.

-I will prove to you it's real, you'll see, and when I will die, because I will, mark my words you will regret not believing in your daughter. I'm not nuts!

Jumped from bed, I've wiped my running snot with my sleeves and went in my room, stomping on my way as loud as I could.

Lights on, incense burning wild, smoking and hard to breath, but better to cough and choke than die, honestly.

I've took my laptop in my arms, web open, recording, open phone's camera recording. 

Wide view on to phone so that I can capture all the room.

Now, I was staring like a mad man, obssesed with every little corner and sound a house can make.

The chirping noise of the birds was louder and louder, and in my room the shy orangy sunset light was slowly cripping in. I could hear my dad’s loud snoring.

Nothing at all.

My eyes were heavy again and with evey slow breath I took in, it relaxed me more and body felt heavy.

-Ciao June! 

The voice was back again, this time I recognise my name.

-Who's there?! Where are you?!

My cameras didn't show anything and my room was empty, still with just the birds chirping.

Man...the fuck is happening?!

-June, it's me Leo, ciao bella! 

The low deep voice was calling my name, and now I understood what it was saying but couldn't see anyone.

-Hello?! Who are you?! Where are you?!

I've got up looking in the room for anyone, suddenly I got braver, but once again dumber.

That's how people die in horror movies, with a dumb curios person.

As I turned around and looked towards my bed I saw a silhouette, almost transparent, white.

And it fucking was "the Maestro", the one and only Leonardo.

I don't know how I recognise him, I guess it was his very distinctive nose, bald top of head and maybe he's strands of hair on the sides.

But fuck...this...is real?! Nah man, I’m deffo sleeping.

-Ar you?! Like you know, Leonardo, the painter?

-In flesh my dear, you have summoned me! This is a weird place you've got in here, what is that candle with so much light?

With his big eyes stared at the ceiling lightbulb and I was baffled by both his appearence and also his tone as this was a casual conversion you have with a friend.

-Excuse me?! 

-The light girl, what is this?

His floating body was moving like a balloon, swiftly and light, and then he went under the light and tried to grasp it, only to find out he can't.

-I forget, I can't grasp things, my old mind can’t remember stuff like this.

He came close to me, staring in to my eyes, but it was hard to look at him, as transparent as it was, I was staring beyond him.

-Ahmmm..and my heart was racing, I felt like running, but my stupid brain decided that it can't move, so I stood there like a statue, only with control over the thoughts.

-I don't understand you kids nowadays, you summon me in the middle of the night, of my, come se dice, birthday, and then you act all scared and want to run. Seriously you have to take responsability for your actions.

I couldn't form a word nor thought, I felt void of any of them, or movement. 

Jesus, what the fuck was in my head.

-I...I apologise I've called you, I, I want to get better. Please become my Maestro, I breath art through every pore of my skin and cells. Please Master! Please I beg you!

-Hmm bella, I’m unsure. I can’t stay for long in here! You only need to practice, you know?

I’ve fell down on my knees and started crying and begging.

-But Maestro, please teach me, I can offer my soul in exchange, if only!

-Shuush bella, stop making a sound, there’s someone else in here.