An Ice Cream Dream

Waking up another morning knowing how the day is going to be. But what happened yesterday? Did I go to school? Did I eat? How did I fall asleep?

All I know is I am going to eat ice cream. Lots and lots of ice cream. I am going to be an ice cream manufacturer. What a dream you say? Well, it wasn’t mine either…actually, I don’t know. I can’t remember anything. It’s like I woke up with a jolt. I know what I will be doing, sometime after 5-10 years have gone by in the future.

Mom is banging on the door asking me to get ready to leave for school. But how do I know where am I supposed to go or who am I supposed to meet at school? Is this really my world?

Back in my dream from which I jolted up from, I was charming, busy, but charming. I had set up at least 20-30 factories, I was affluent, I was desired. I had time for none. I worked like a robot. I was not here in Oklahoma for sure. I was elsewhere. Wait, was it a dream? What was it? Why can’t I remember? What’s wrong with me?

I feel like banging my head and kicking myself in my guts for not knowing what to do. I knew mom. It was a couple of days back – I woke up not knowing anything. But I knew mom, I saw her in my future. I tried telling her about this weird “phase” I am going through, I guess. But I didn’t want to seem like a stupid nutcrack. Is this a phase? Or is this real?

I have been skipping school. Mom drops me off and once she is out of sight, I walk around my supposedly school. I have stopped and stared at cafes and restaurants, I have walked in the parks and talked to elderly loving strangers. They ask me things – about why I am roaming and who I am with. I have become pretty good at making stories up by now, thanks to all those encounters.

The only constant companion with whom I talk to is myself – except, it’s an image of myself from the future. But it is real.

He hits me with his shoe…sorry, my shoe…our shoe…okay, this is kind of screwed up. How do I explain?

It’s me, with my trademark chocolaty smile from the future…the only one who knows what I am going through. I have been friends with myself from the future since the past couple of days. He tells me what I will do next…would have helped had he told me what I should be doing to be “actually” doing that in the future, you know what I mean?

How is it possible to know my future and not remember anything about my past?

Everyday has been a trying attempt from my side to try and remember something – something about how I ended up in this situation.

I go to bed early nowadays hoping to wake up with all my memories. Maybe tomorrow will be a successful day, who knows.

I dream of ice cream. Every night. I dream of experimenting with different, unknown flavours. Beetroot & caramel, Fig & sea salt, Honey & watermelon…. exotic collections from different parts of the world…from different parts of the…universe….

Waking up another morning knowing how the day is going to be. But what happened yesterday? Did I go to school? Did I eat? How did I fall asleep?

Same old routine. Mom banging on the door. Me waking up with all sorts of questions. Me going to school, or not.

Am I in the same world? Every day seems like I am doing the same thing, waking up knowing what I am going to be…except, the vibes are different.

I started journaling. I sit in the parks and describe the scene in front of me.  I read it every day…that’s when I noticed something eerie.

The places were same, the people were same….but…it was mixed up. The couples I meet the previous days, aren’t the same the next day. They are with someone else. Or wait, is it just how adult relationships work?

No. Something is different. The lives are different. My mom is the same. But my Dad different on some of the days. The dog’s owners are different. The timing, the year, everything is different everyday.

How is this happening?

How can things be different but my future remain the same?

What the hell is this Ice Cream Dream?

I started hating the sight of ice creams. In dreams, in realities…in the different realities I was facing every day. I started hating my future.

I needed answers. How was this happening? I had heard of parallel universes but how was I experiencing everyday something that I didn’t even know was real.

Was my future even real?

Was I just a lunatic? Was I maybe in an asylum and dreaming due to strong dozes of medicines and dreaming of ice creams for some reason?

I was losing it. I was writing frantically in search of answers. I started going to church. I don’t think I was much inclined towards religion, but I started going and praying. In the hope of getting answers.

Weeks passed by. I considered having ice creams finally. I started mixing at home. I started experimenting. Mom was getting proud of me and my flair for making decent ice creams. Although, she was concerned that I was wasting my time – in her defence, I probably was. But that was my future, right?

It’s strange when someone puts something into your head, how that is the only thing you can dream of, even if it had never occurred to you before.

Wait, someone put something into my head.

Why didn’t I think of this before? Did someone do something to me? Why did I become what I became?

Was it possible? Science was my forte but I was believing in religion more and more and somehow it seemed like a miracle that this thought occurred to me. I was confused. Scared. Losing my mind.

Was I an experiment gone wrong? The more I thought about it, the more it went into my subconscious mind. I put it into my head this time that was for sure.

The more I thought about it……I am so tired….tired of thinking…not knowing…

Zzz…..

Waking up another morning knowing how the day is going to be. But what happened yesterday? Did I go to school? Did I eat? How did I fall asleep?

Hold on. My hands are tied. My legs are tied. I can’t move. There is a strong blinding light blurring my vision.

What’s going on? I shout…HELP! HELP! Except…I can’t hear my voice. I can’t hear any voices around me except some buzzing noise….

The lights dim and I open my eyes and…..HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP I am shouting in my head….i can’t believe my eyes….i can’t believe I am an experiment…have I been the robot and have they been the image I had been talking to all this while…what is this…reality, dream, sci fi…

Had I been abducted by aliens all this while? Am I their Ice Cream dream?

I shut my eyes. I want to go back and be in my stupid dream now. Can i? I pray for science not to harm me more for tomorrow’s reality.

An Ice Cream Dream is all they wanted and all I want now.