Brother of Sun

The two Brothers of Sunbreaker's Hold, that’s what they called us. Though they never really knew us, the stories were so fickle that I realized no one could understand how it truly was. How he was the golden child, the undying Sun which was born beside a dying Moon, me. I was named Oak by my unloving mother, and Leander was named by our father, the Greatest King under the Sun they say.

    I hated him, it began as children, when he picked up the sword and learned the ways of a Warrior, while I was too craven, hidden away in my bed chambers. I had fallen in love with peace, how the flowers bloom in spring, how people danced in the streets like mad, and the way my mother looked at her fabrics. However, I despised the way Leander looked at his sword, and at our father with so much admiration. 

   And now here I stood, among a victorious Army against my own interest. I stared at my brother ahead, thrusting his sword in the air with a boisterous scream. My heart ached in resentment as I saw the blood that painted his sword, the madness in his eyes. I didn’t want to stand in this field of bodies, I did not want to be like them, and never to be like him. 

   I moved past our father’s cheering warriors, right for him. Standing before him reminded me how small I was, but I’ve been small in every way compared to him since birth. 

   “I do not want to travel further in this party of mad men, Brother.” I told him calmly, like speaking to a beast. 

   “Hmph? You do not wish to celebrate alongside me?” He asked like the dreadful fool he was, for I know he hates me more. 

   “Indeed, pair me off with a few men and I shall return to the Hold in my own company.”

   “Say, are you mad? You’ll be picked off by the damned bandits, look at you, so feeble and cowardly.” He boomed, upset by my request obviously. 

   “Do not insult me, you uncivilized troll.” I spat.

   “Poor cretin has a temper, mother shouldn’t have baby you your whole life!”

I scoffed, and turned around sharply on my heel. I wouldn’t fight a brute over something I could do myself. I walked to another man, a General in the Army, General Court-ford. I tried to look more manly before him as well, as he looked down at me with scorn.

   “I command a horse of my own, and four men to accompany me.” 

   “As you command, Prince Oak, Son of The Sunbreaker.” The man said with a sly venom in his voice. 

He had insulted me, as he knew I hated my Father’s title, and any mention of my relation. I just grunted, and looked off to the side, feeling more embarrassed than I did in front of Leander. Eventually a white Mare was brought to me, and four unhappy looking men on their own stallions. I winced, realizing I had acted like a child in front of such men, how couldn’t they look at me like they did.

   I am the renowned prince of cowardice, how lovely. I couldn’t help but think as I led these men into the dense woods of our realm, infested with bandits, and cults, and further away from the most powerful army known to men. I almost laughed to myself, is this how much I hated my darling brother? Enough to subject myself to the nasty insects buzzing around me, the sun making me profusely sweat, and my thighs chafing as I rode the horse; do I truly despise you so much Leander that I am willing to suffer the unimaginable? I let the thought go after a minute, looking past the trees off into the distance at even more trees. The four men surrounding me seemed annoyed, and even more tired than me. I prayed we weren’t too far now, and that I’d see my mother before my brother returned as well. 

   “Why didn’t you stay with your Brother, Prince Oak?” One of the men asked, riding a Friesian Stallion to my left. 

   “I had no desire to be amidst battles to simply return home.” I informed him.

   “So you are a craven one, as they all say.” 

   “I guess so.” I admitted painfully, how could I expect him to understand? He wasn’t the brother of Prince Leander, The Winged Flame, Heir to Sunbreaker. He got the titles, the cheers, the glory, and I got the scowls of random people on the streets. 

   I came to a stop as we entered a flower field, and I just stopped, I didn’t care if they looked at me with irritated curiosity. I wanted to look at the flowers, no blood, no screams, no Leander.

   “Sire, we must hurry, there could be bandits lurking about here.” One of them grumbled.

I didn’t hear him really, slowly moving my horse along the waves of flowers, such of many colors and shapes. I felt like I wasn’t Oak, like I wasn’t everything I failed to be, but their chittering about my behavior made me scowl.

   “Leave me be then! Go back to your cursed army, back to the future King, and just let me be.” I cried out, looking over my shoulder at the four men as they seemed to almost look relieved that I said such things. They quickly turned, and rode off, leaving me to my solitude. I nearly leaped with joy, feeling a weight fall from my shoulder, the burden of people. I had the Mare trot around the field, enjoying the views. My mother had only one garden, but she never tended to it, so it was just dead plants, and bugs which scared me to no end. 

   She never took care of her burdens, maybe that’s why she's so distant to us all. My father wasn’t much better, but I can’t remember the last time he looked at me, or even spoke to me, as he only ever acknowledged my brother. I began to be swallowed by a sudden thought; Leander never got annoyed by me looking at flowers, flipping through books, or never speaking like others did, and maybe for a second I felt less hatred towards him. 

   Suddenly, I heard something along the treeline. I could make out the sound of a Horse walking, the footsteps solid. I kept my head up high, waiting for whoever to emerge from the coverage of trees. 

   “You are a dimwitted rabbit of a man!” A familiar voice shouted, and the face matching the voice was Leander as his Horse walked directly to my spot in the field. I could only leer in response.

   “Oakley.. I shall lead you home, it seems you didn’t appreciate the company General Courtford sent along.” 

   “Perhaps it is because every being in that army hates my guts, yes?” 

   “Nonsense!” 

With that, Leander brought his horse beside mine and motioned me to ride alongside him. I hesitantly obliged, not daring to look him in the eyes as we began our path back home. However, he decided to keep speaking.

   “We should go to the Festival Father is hosting tomorrow in City Hall.”

   “No.” 

   “Why not, eh? You need to see the Sun.”

   “I hope the Sun burns out, and light never shines upon me again.” I snapped.

   “Oh? Then everything would wither and die, you want that?” He said it so calmly that I felt strange. I looked at him for a long minute. Would I die if you burned out? I felt a whisper in my head.

   “I hate you.” I said softly, looking back ahead of us, not caring for what look he would give me.

   “I hate you too, brother.” He responded.

The ride back to the Hold became silent, our last words didn’t even create tension as it came naturally since birth. The sight of our Fathers castle made me miserable. I hated it more than Leander, but maybe I hate everything about my family. We left the horses in the stables in town, and the army had already returned and settled down before we did. I almost found it comedic, my brother decided to play Hero and come collect his brother from a field of flowers so he wouldn’t get snatched up by bandits. 

   I glared at him as we walked towards the castle, through the bustling Market of people. I noticed how we were separate in the eyes of the public at a young age, these were his people, not mine. 

   “Leander.” 

   “Yes, Oakley?”

   “You’re not a Hero.” I spoke more confidently than I realized, and I felt a twinge of pride in myself.

   “And you’re not a Coward.” He didn’t even look at me as he said it, but I stared at him as he spoke. I felt shocked for once, like he made a move in a game of chess I never even thought of. I remained quiet, and kept my head down as we walked into the throne room, the only room of this castle that made me want to burn it all down in a fit of genuine rage. I looked at my father on his throne, wearing a disgustingly cruel grin on his face as he watched his golden child carry a bloody blade on his hip. 

   I stood off to the side, near the servants as I listened to my father speak.

   “Leander, my Heir.. always impressive, aren't you?” 

   “Yes, sire.” Leander bowed down, causing me to roll my eyes.

   “And home at last, my offspring. You have done well, and I am sure Princess Lehiri will love the news of your return.” 

   The mention of my Brother's future wife always made me long for his world, as I never even had a woman look at me the way they did him. Why are you so boundless, so perfect? My head throbbed from today’s unwanted activities. I walked away, away from the throne room and the people in it. Down the corridors and winding halls I went, and further into the castle of chattering servants, massive chandeliers, and a mother of whom was standing at a window, staring out at her dead garden.

   “Mom?” I blurted, stopping dead in my tracks. 

   “Hmm?” She hummed back, her eyes not meeting mine as usual.

   “Are you well?”

   “Never, have you met your father?” She asked sarcastically, already seeming annoyed. 

   “Hmph, no, not really. Leander is speaking to him.”

   “Ah, Leander… only another shadow.” She mumbled ominously and walked off, leaving me without a single glance. I sighed, and looked out at the dead garden. I realized we were all her damned garden, we are her flowers. I decided to walk out into it, through the little grand door. I decided to slowly walk along the boxes of flowers on the ground, some barely clinging to life. I stopped, and looked up. It was like he was a damned ghost haunting me as Leander stood at the door, just staring at me.

   “You never changed.” He said as he walked into the garden, now fully displayed before me as the enormous warrior he was. I just gave a glare, hoping he would depart sooner or later. 

   “They hate us both, you know?”

   “Our parents never hated you, don’t act like you haven’t been the future King your whole life.”

   “Then don’t act like I never cared for you.” 

At the way he spoke, I went quiet. I didn’t know how to feel about that, but I know I didn’t believe him even if a little voice in my head did. 

   “Do you know why I hate you, Leander? Heir of the Sunbreaker, The Winged Flame,” I spoke, “You have it all! You were born first, you got our father’s love, you got the sword, the girl, the glory, and every little thing.” I was so close to yelling, but I couldn’t do it for some reason. He looked at me as if I was a mad man before he stepped closer, his eyes narrowing.

   “And yet, you are free. You can leave here, and choose your own path if you would just open your eyes, Oak.”

   “You’re wrong. There is nothing for a man as feeble as me out there.” How could he know anything? How could you see me for what I am Leander? 

   “Just think for a damned minute. You can read better than most, identify plants, and you’re smart when it comes to strategy. You have so much in you, but you never used it. You need to leave this place, Oakley.” It was like he was warning me.

   “Leave? Wouldn’t you love that! So you can have it all?” 

   “No, this was never for glory, this is for something long overdue. I'm telling you, if you don’t take one of the horses in the stable, and leave this place, you will never forgive yourself.” I have never seen him speak with so much passion, not since he gave the speech that he would be Heir to the Sunbreaker, and that was when we were children.

   “Long overdue? Hmm..” I looked at him curiously.

   “I never wanted this, I never wanted any of it, for us to be torn apart by them.” 

   “Then maybe.. I will leave, and maybe… just maybe.. I don’t hate you as much as I pretend to.” I admitted, for the first time in sixteen years, I told him the truth.

   “I would never resent you for your craven lifestyle, and I never hated you because you didn’t choose the blade.” 

   “I guess one of us has to be the Sun, even if it’ll burn out.”

   “And you need to leave this place before I do.” He stepped back, eyeing me, like he wanted me to leave immediately. I listened because I knew there was more to this than met the eye. I walked past him, bumping shoulders as a goodbye. Before I ran off to the stables back in the town, I looked at him as I stood in the door frame.

   “I understand you. You never got a choice.”

   “And I understand you, for you never got a chance.” 

And that was the day I went to the stables, got on that white Mare, and ran from the world I thought I was chained to. And within three days of excessive traveling, and seeing more of the world than I did in sixteen years, I had realized Leander was right. I would have never forgiven myself if I hadn’t gone on my own path, far from him. 

   But the sweet peace didn’t last when I made contact with my first village, not from the fact anyone realized who I was because they didn’t, fortunately. Standing in the Bear’s Tavern, I overheard recent news of the Kingdom, news that made me stand still, that made my body nearly shut down. 

   “Ye hear of the mad boy in Sunbreaker's Hold?” A drunkard said to his much more sober friend.

   “Oskar, speaking of the dead like that isn’t alright, even if you’re drownin’ in liquor!” The man scolded.

   “Well, Prince Leander did burn down the entire castle! How could we not speak of this? Princess Lehiri went with it!” With that, I looked over at the man, clearly listening.

   “Oskar- no more.” His friend sharply whispered.

   “Damn Sunbreaker, damn his whole bloodline, fucking crazy brutes- Say, what happened to the sickly one?” 

   I hurried away once I realized I would be mentioned, but I stumbled out into the streets with my hand clutching the fabric on my chest. What have you done, Brother? I hurried back to my horse, and looked for any guardsmen along the way, someone who would know. I knew I looked frantic as I rushed through the crowds of peasants, but I couldn’t help it when I saw a portly Guardsman standing off to the side.

   “You there.” I said sternly, now standing before him, breathing heavily.

   “Hmph?” He looked indifferent to my distress. 

   “What happened to the King's family?” 

   “Oh, another curious child, hm?..” He began, “Prince Leander burned down the Castle with him and his family in it, along with the neighboring Kingdom’s daughter, Princess Lehiri.” He made it short and simple, no display of care.

   I backed away, and just walked slowly back in the direction of my horse. I wasn’t sure how to feel. Was I mad at my brother for murdering our family and taking his life?... Or am I grateful he spared my life, that he didn’t care about our differences in the end? I knew it was the latter. I leaned my head against the saddle of my horse, looking right down at the mud.

   My brother was wrong about one thing though, I could’ve forgiven myself for missing out on this, but now I would never forgive myself for not telling him how sorry I was, how I never truly hated him for our differences, how I accepted him for all the things he was and wanted to be.