The Horse Who Brought Remorse by Force of Course

The Horse Who Brought Remorse By Force, Of Course

Once upon a time in a huge metropolis called Danville, Va., there lived a mad scientist named Dr. Paine. Actually, he had a really hard time getting people to come see him for some odd reason. The worst part about it was that he had so many doctors in his family tree. Yet for whatever reason, that tree, "wooden" work for him. His sister was a farmer named Dr. Pepper. His aunt was a heart surgain named Dr. Love. His neece was a horticulturalist named Dr. Pepper. His aunt was a padiatrist named Dr. Shoals. His cousin was a lifesaving surgain named Dr. Livingston, and his uncle was a general practitioner named Dr. Doctor. Some of his patients would come running into his office while yelling, "Dr. Doctor! Give me the news! I got a bad case of loving you!" At any rate, they were all very mild-tempered people because none of them could afford to ever lose their, "patience," which is one of the most important traits about being any kind of doctor since they all want to, "doct" their people back to health. Painter will paint, and drivers will drive, and teachers will teach, and plumbers will plumb, but any doctor who cannot, "doct" their patients well is absolutely worthless to the people who sit there in the waiting room that are sick or injured.

A man from The Board Of Health came in to check on all of the doctors who were there in the office named Snidely Whiplash. He was a really mean man who hated anything to do with doctors or hospitals. That was because of one little incident which had happened to his wife by another doctor who was in a different hospital up in New York City, (where the girls are pretty). He had brought his wife in and told the doctor she needed to have a historectomy. Instead somebody messed up the paper with her problem on it and instead ended up giving her an appendectomy. When she woke up in the recovery room, her husband came in to see her. The surgain was standing there with a huge smile that went all the way across his face. They asked him, "Well, doc, how did the proceidure turn out?"

"Quite well!" said the surgeon with a tremendous smile that went over his whole face, "I'm proud to say you won't have any more stomach problems since we took out that nasty, old appendix! The appendectomy was a success!"

"You idiot!" screamed the woman's husband who was standing right there. "She came in for a hisourectomy! Not an appendectomy! You put it back right now! If not we will sew you! There is no Indian tribe who will be able to save you! Particularly the, 'Sioux' Indians! That's what we'll do to you! Johnny Cash has a song called A Boy Named Sue! That's what we're going to do with you! Who are you to make that bone-head goof-up? Jeese you!"

"Gee, I'm sorry," apologized the sergean who had messed up on the operation, "We will put it back emediately, sir!"

The man grabbed the sergain around his neck and hissed, "You'd better undo the dirty deed you've done! If not, I'm going to do some surgery on you and will remove each one of your stupid fingers one at a time, capeash?"

"Now, now, now sir," stammered the surgean trembling with fear, "we've done all we can do for him, but, but,"

"That's right," hissed the irate dude, tightening his al- ready firm grip on the doctor, "Who are you supposed to be anyway? My tax dollars are paying you more then you're worth! So if you don't do as I say, then I am going to do some surgery on you and will remove the little bit of dust that's between your ears and replace it with a jack rabbit's brain, but that's the kind of sense you have! I will pay you in dollars and, 'sense' if you do well. If not, the results will be quite, 'hare'-raising for you! So, 'hop' to it!"

"Who are you, threatening that poor surgeon?" said Bishop David who was right there behind him and had overheard the guy's promise to shorten the doctor's lifespan if he did't succeed. "Doctors can only, 'doct' so much! The rest is up to the best Doctor of all-time, 'Dr. J.,' and that's not just Erving! It's Jehovah Rapha, the great!"

"Who are you supposed to be, God or something?" the man who was about to lose it asked with a huge frown. "The Lord can do, 'exceeding, abundantly above all we ask or think according to the power that worketh in us.' That's a Scripture in the Word, and I believe it wholeheartedly!"

"You mean He can even heal people today?" the other man asked inquisitively, "How can He hear everybody's prayers at the same time? That doesn't make any sense!"

"I can't explain lots of things that are in the Word, but I believe them. Who are you to doubt God's Word?" asked Bishop David quite sternly, "Do you doubt the Bible?"

"Gosh! I didn't know that!" said the guy who was about to shorten the Bishop's lifespan, "Who told you that?"

"That's in the Bible," replied Bishop David with a big smile. "You should read It if you want a happy lifestyle."

Those words saved that other man's soul. The guy who was about to send that other dude up to meet his Maker was so touched by those words, he went to an awesome, full-Gospel, Word-preaching, extremely Pentecostal, Holly-Rolling Church called Morning Glory. The pastor there, Bishop David, was really awesome and everybody loved him quite a lot. He preached things from the Word and the congregation learned new things every service such as Moses was the worst Biblical sinner because he broke ALL the commandments. Also the weeping prophet, Jerimia's horse was named Ismy because to make him stop he'd yell, "Woe, Ismy!" Actually, he was a bullfrog, a good friend of mine. I never understood a word he said, but I helped him drink his mighty fine wine. He was the good shepherd of that great Church and his favorite sheep was a guy who was a red-head named Cuz. Even though reading the Bible was not possible due to being legally-blind, he was blessed with ears to hear. In fact, he had lived in the mountains for 12 years so like the natives who lived there, he was blessed with really awesome, "mountain-ears." They popped when riding up there but he only drank water since it was healthier and cheaper then soda-, "pop." Another thing that was enjoyable was riding horses, but he needed a little help with, "mountin' " them along. He had even learned how to canter with a horse and to do that, it was necessary to take the reins. That was a little difficult when wet-stuff came from the clouds, but he still did really well at taking the, "rains" in his hands. Besides, he also knew that the Lord, "reins" over all His children. The first time he took control of the horse, people were yelling at him so loudly that is what it made them all get, "horse."

One time in the summer he went riding with very little clothing on. That time the horse got out of control and took off running. Cuz had a hard time controlling the beast's galloping by merely pulling back on the reins and the shirt came off of his back. When arriving back at where the horse's owner was he said, "Now, wait a minute! Who are you? Lady Gadiva? Put those clothes back on right now!" Then he laughed, as did everybody else who was around. That gave them their jollies at the poor rider's expense. They all laughed until they lost their voices which made them each, "horse." Cuz was the punster champ, but even that wasn't terribly funny at that particular point in time. He enjoyed watching The East Coast Hockey League games, but had enough of that, "horse-hockey" for one day. The word, "sad"-le had just taken on a whole new meaning for him. Riding below a gallop was something that, "cant"-er be explained in words. Was that good? The answer was, "Nei-gh-gh-gh!"

That afternoon a man knocked on the door. It was some guy who had seen Cuz riding the horses around the field and wanted to buy some of them because he was a really awesome jockey and had seen how they galloped around the field. When he asked how much money would buy any of those horses he had seen run around his field, the man in charge, Germane, said, "You've got a deal, brother!" and shook his hand, seeing dollar signs in front of him.

That's when Cuz came running in yelling, "Now, wait just a cotton-pickin' minute! Exactly how much are you willing to pay for that horse? He is not just any horse, you know!"

"Oh, I'll pay you $2,000.00! I get good vibes when I walk around him! It's way more then you payed for him I know!"

"Who are you to think you can just pay me that little and expect to get a deal out of it? You're barking up the wrong tree, my friend!" said Cuz, "That horse is worth a lot more than that just to me, and I've never even raced him! He is a regular gold-mine to me! No sir! He is not for sale!" He climbed up on Pokey, the name he'd just thought of for him, and rode away from the man who gave out an uneasy feeling to Cuz. Something told him not to sell that horse.

When Cuz had gone to bed, he was awakened by the sound of footsteps outside his bedroom window. Looking out, he saw that man struggling to put Pokey in the back of his pick-up truck. Running out the door he was yelling, "Stop, thief! That's my horse! Now, bring him back! Don't even try to get away with him on the back of your truck!"

Yet the man drove away with Pokey whinnying in utter desperation, but it was so dark, there was no way to get the licence plate of his truck. Although his eval laughing was heard beyond him as he sped off towards his home.

Poor Cuz couldn't even tell which direction the horse-napper went. Calling the police, the officer, who was 3/4 asleep since it was 4:15 a. m., said, "I'll make a report, but the chances of ever seeing him again are quite remote." Then he hung up the phone, eager to get back to sleep.

That's when Cuz began praying right away. He called the Bishop, Brother David to agree with him because Jesus said, "When 2 or more are in agreement with touching anything in My Name, there am I in the midst of them, and if what they ask is according to My will, they shall receive the desires of their hearts." Both of them had faith God would make it work out somehow so his beloved horse would come which was right where he really belonged.

The next Sunday, he announced the need to the whole congregation so they all prayed and agreed for Pokey to somehow be found safely. Cuz even prayed for the thieves who stole him, that God would bless them and cause them to repent, weather Pokey came back or not because it's easy to pray for people you love, but it is more of a major challenge to pray for those who have done you wrong.

The next day Cuz was startled to see a horse who was shaped like Pokey come galloping at a break-neck speed, whinnying all the way as if in terror. He was followed by 2 men charging after him yelling, "Come back here, you stupid horse! When we catch you, you'll get worse than that!" Cuz ran outside and saw the men running after Pokey with crops in hand, obviously for hitting him.

Cuz ran out and said, "May I help you, gentlemen? Now, what can I do you for, other then say, 'thanks' for chasing my horse back home where he belongs? Cool!"

That's when one of the men pulled out a pistol and pointed it at Cuz. He cocked the trigger as Cuz, not able to think of the words to say, started praying in the Spirit. That made the men cry out in pain and throw their guns in the air. Cuz grabbed both of them since they were right in front of him while the men continued to yell and blow on their hands. That's when Cuz asked again, "May I help you, gentlemen? Now, I believe these are mine. Thank you for bringing them back when you tried to steal them."

Just then some sirens came roaring around the corner. The men turned to run away, but they both got hung up by some invisible twine on the ground. They fell down, trying to untangle their feet from the rope that wasn't even there. Both were cussing as the police arrived. When they saw the men rolling in the grass, trying to untangle themselves from the rope that wasn't there, they laughed. Then one of them shook Cuz's hand, saying they were notorious horse-thieves who'd escaped from prison. There was a $10,000.00 reward for capturing those men who had done so many awful things besides just stealing horses. They were also bank-robbers and had even killed several people. One officer put a manila envelope in Cuz's hand. When he hoped it, there was a blank check for $20,000.00 inside. One of the cops took the paper and signed his name, then handed it back to Cuz. He stretched out his hand and said, "Here you are! Just use this money for whatever you want! We hope it will bring you a lot of happiness somehow! It is all compliments of The Danville City Police Department!"

Then he stuck out his hand for to shake, only Cuz said, "Put that away, man! Now, I don't believe in hand-shakes!" Then he hugged him while everybody laughed. The Press arrived and took pictures to go in The Danville Times newspaper. The next day people came flocking to his door, insisting that he accept more money for a huge reward for what he had done. After a huge tithe to Pastor David's, he sent some to find cures for cancer, The Heart Association and to find cures for head-injury victims. That bennafitted everybody concerned. The rest was invested in stocks, which went through the roof, thus making him a very rich person. He even met Ms., "Write," who was also a poet's and author's literary agent. After finding the best ones for his work, he became extremely famous and wealthy. Later he, "popped-it" to the literary agent, who said, "Yeah!" They were soon married, had some smart, good-looking, athletic children who grew up a brilliant brain surgean and a really smart lawyer and so, like the best-written children's stories of all-time will officially finish up with, "THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER!!!!"

----------------------------------------

The end. By, Cuz Roye.