24 comments

Mystery

Here I am, at the very end of everything, patiently waiting for my turn. The door is there, closed; hiding the true colour of my destiny. Everything I have done in my life has been summoned here at this small dusty room with no windows and not much to do, except to sit and wait. 

She was clenching her jaw. She felt a burning sensation hovering through her body making her sweat; small drops of salty water were sliding down from her forehead. She was nervous. While kicking the floor with her unsteady leg she was looking at the clock. This clock was different from any other for just one reason, this clock didn't have needles, because here, there is no time.

She began massaging her temples in concentric circles. Her big blue eyes were closed. Her sun-coloured hair was sticking to her face from the hot sweat. Just a bit more waiting... she reminded herself.

She heard steps, approaching her closer. She couldn't resist but to look. There, before her was a man of stiff muscles and clenched jaw sharp as a knife. He was tall; with a strong attitude and steady pace. She felt a bit nervous; hiding her gaze, she was looking at the other side not wanting to make eye contact with the man that has just walked in. But, she felt something, as if she once knew him, as if she met him before; but as much as she tried she couldn't remember. Instead, she tried to sit still. She curled her lip and clasped her hands together playing with her unsteady fingers.

- What happened to you?

What does he mean? Oh, yes... that. Should I say something? It would be rude not to! I don't have anything to lose anyway...

- I was in an accident...

- I see.

- And you? What happened to you?

- Well, that is a long story...

- I guess - she looked at the clock, then at the door - we have the time. - She chuckled.

- Yeah, we do... - He laughed looking at the floor.

- Well, how about you start?

- Um, okay, I'll start. That day, everything was fine... just a normal day like any other... I got up that morning feeling very good, nothing seemed wrong. I went to my daughter's bed to wake her up for school, she is 6 years old, she recently started school. - She smiled while feeling the tremor in her hands and weighing on her heart that she felt would explode at any moment. She smiled because she wanted to hold off her tears. - I helped her pack her things. We both had breakfast and got dressed.

- You live alone with her?

- Yes, just me and her... All alone in this very big world. - She smiled, and then continued. After we both got ready, we went into the car. She was playing with her doll in the back seat while I was driving. The music was playing; the cold wind was cooling my hot face through the window of my seat. Everything was calm, and then, like light speed, my phone rang. The sound of that ringtone broke me, bringing me back to reality. In just one second, I closed my eyes, and when I opened them again, thanks to the sound of my phone, I lost control.

- If I understood, you fall asleep for a second, and then the sound of a phone awoke you?

- Yes, but it was late, I hit road verge and broke it; I slid with my car over the rocky land, and then I hit the tree. Everything happened so quickly. At that moment everything turned black and I couldn’t feel anything.

- And now you are here?

- And now I am here... - she was mumbling, thinking about her daughter. She wanted to cry, but as if she couldn't.

- Can you describe her for me, please?

She looked to the side, curling her lip, while desperately trying to hold off the tears that were burning her beautiful blue, ocean-like, eyes.

- Of course, um… She is very much like me; she has beautiful long, sun-like, hair that is falling over her shoulders like the waves of the ocean. She has big turquoise eyes that make you disappear in them every time you look at her longer than a just few seconds. That day she was wearing a little milk dress; she had a recital at the school that day, a welcoming recital, because, as I’ve said, she just started school. – Her gaze was lost while she was talking about her daughter. The thought of her made her lose herself in the reality where both of them were still alive.

- Do you know what happened to your daughter? Did she survive?

- I don't... But I feel she is still alive because if she wasn't, I feel like she would be with me, here. So I am glad she is still alive! She will have a wonderful life! Even I am not there with her, I will always watch her from up here.

- I can help you, but I need to know your name and your daughter’s name...

- Why?

- Please.

- My name is Lydia and my daughter’s name is Melodie. And your name?

- Lydia and Melodie... - He chuckled. - your daughter is alive, I saved her.

- Wait... THAT IS A GREAT NEWS!! Oh my God... Thank you! - She was smiling looking at the ceiling while praying. - But wait... If you saved my daughter, why are you here then?

The white light appeared beaming through the wide door that has opened before them. An unknown man got up and began heading towards the light. - I am going to heaven because I helped to save the life of your daughter. When I managed to get her out of the car, I slipped and fell. I fell over the cliff. But don't worry, it wasn't your fault. One life was supposed to vanish for the other to live and I am happy that I saved the life of that little girl.

- Thank you... - She said while tears, holding the pain of a mountain, were blurring her vision. She hid her gaze and began crying even more. I will be there for you my little girl, always, and forever.

July 04, 2020 20:31

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24 comments

Jade Young
09:41 Jul 25, 2020

I'm in love with your writing and your technique! The way you structured the dialogue was really creative. Your descriptions are amazing and reveal a lot about your characters. This was a very good read that kept me engrossed from the beginning to the end :D Well done Nancy!

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Nancy Drayce
09:52 Jul 25, 2020

Thank you so much! You made my day!! 💜✨

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Itaic Xw
01:07 Jul 18, 2020

You have great emotional rhythm, I wanted to rush forward but the little details kept me engrossed. I especially liked the line with "Should I say something?", you told us so much about the character there.

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Nancy Drayce
07:44 Jul 18, 2020

Thank youu so much! 🤗🧡

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Johan Stones
07:09 Jul 16, 2020

Hello, Nancy Drayce. Remember me? Was so hectic, but finally, I could spend time to give feedback to you. Gosh. I don't know what to say, things in this story just blew my mind. I kept guessing what was truly happened and it just touched me after I found the answer. This story is so beautiful. I love the way you describe things such as the eye of the characters, the hairs, the situation there, everything. This inspired me to do the same! But there was one or two-part that I don't understand/missed. (probably because of my English skill...

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Nancy Drayce
09:59 Jul 16, 2020

Yes, of course, I do! Thank you soo much! Yes, it is the same man. It wasn't specified who he is (it is more for the reader to guess, he could have been a medic or just a random person who saw the accident.) I didn't want to say who it was because I felt like it was not essential to the story for just one reason - he saved a life because he wanted to save a life not because he felt obligated to do so "because he is a medic". If that makes any sense 😅 The car was close to the cliff and when he pulled Melodie out of the car to the safe, he s...

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Johan Stones
15:18 Jul 16, 2020

It's all clear now, I'm in love!

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Soji Asaye
21:58 Jul 12, 2020

Loved this💓 Please read and like mine

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Nancy Drayce
07:34 Jul 13, 2020

Thank you!💕 Of course! 🤗

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Len Mooring
00:54 Jul 12, 2020

Well done. A nice tender story.

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Nancy Drayce
07:00 Jul 12, 2020

Thank you! 😘

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Rhondalise Mitza
18:28 Jul 09, 2020

I've written three books, working on my fourth! So fun to see another young author. :D

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Nancy Drayce
18:33 Jul 09, 2020

That is so amazing! I was so happy when I found this site because I hoped I would surround myself with fellow authors!

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Khizra Aslam
09:26 Jul 09, 2020

This story is so beautiful. ❤

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Nancy Drayce
18:10 Jul 09, 2020

Thank you so much. I am glad that you liked it! ❤❤🤗

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Daniel Hayes
06:15 Jan 29, 2021

What a beautiful and emotional story. I really enjoyed reading this. I'm glad Melodie survived the accident, but feel sad for her mom who passed on. It was a good surprise to learn that fact from the mysterious man who saved her daughter's life. Great Job:)

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Nancy Drayce
19:30 Jan 29, 2021

Thank you!! 💜🌟

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Daniel Hayes
20:47 Jan 29, 2021

Your welcome. I did like this story, it stuck with me through the day and I just had to come back and read it again. Great job once again :)

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Nancy Drayce
20:50 Jan 29, 2021

Aww, thank you so much!! I always wanted to touch people with my words and stories and I am super glad that you said that!!

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Anja Z
21:05 Jul 04, 2020

Beautiful story :♡ Can you read mine as well

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Nancy Drayce
21:27 Jul 04, 2020

Thank you! 🤗 Of course! 😘

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05:41 Aug 06, 2020

Wow, nicely written! You describe things very well, but I think that if you would have added a little more emotion to the story it would be better. Oh, and Good luck with your novel! -S

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Nancy Drayce
06:13 Aug 06, 2020

Thank you so much! That means a lot to me 💜✨

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08:03 Aug 06, 2020

😊

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