A Most Beloved Pet

A Most Beloved Pet

By Peggy Gerber

Rosie was jolted awake by a thud in her backyard just as the sun was blooming on the horizon.  As she raced outside her rickety farmhouse to investigate, her heart began to beat like a jackhammer: there in front of her was an enormous, glowing, cigar shaped, spaceship. Before her brain could even process what she was seeing, the hatch slowly began to open, and out stepped the most gorgeous man she had ever seen.  He looked like Tarzan from the Disney movie. Long scraggly auburn hair, cobalt, blue eyes and a perfectly chiseled  body, which she could clearly see, because he was naked. Rosie, who had never been accused of being shy, was speechless.  Trembling, she held out her hand in greeting, and the man licked it, saying, “Hi, I’m Bobo, what is your name?”  As he came closer, Rosie realized he was wearing a collar. 

Rosie could not concentrate on anything while Bobo was naked, so she ushered him inside and gave him some of her father’s clothing. Rosie, at thirty five years old, had spent the last five years taking care of her father and watching both he and their farmhouse deteriorate. She had been so lonely these past few years, she could taste it. Maybe it was because of this loneliness, maybe it was because of Bobo’s sweet smile, or maybe she was just a little bit crazy, but she instantly felt a bond between herself and Bobo and knew she would risk everything for him. 

Rosie had seen enough movies to know that the spaceship had probably been picked up on radar, and federal agents from some government organization would be arriving at her home shortly to investigate the crash.  Therefore, she sat Bobo down, gave him a doughnut and declared, “I want to help you, but I need some answers”.

“First of all, why  are you wearing a collar?  Are you a slave?”Bobo answered, “ A slave, no, I am a pet, a beloved  pet” Rosie was perplexed, “So someone does own you.” Bobo answered, “Yes, no,  well technically yes, but the way I choose to see it, is somebody loves me. Keeper takes great care of me.  It feeds me, grooms me, and I  travel with It on all Its space missions.  Every night before bed, It rubs my back and shoulders with all eight of its luxuriously furry, green tentacles.  Keeper adopted me when I was  five years old, and we  have been together ever since.” Then he asked Rosie,  “Why don’t you have a collar”.  I’m sorry,  are you a stray?  By the way, what is this that I am eating?  It is the most delicious thing I’ve ever tasted.”

Rosie tried to ignore the fact that Bobo was eating the doughnut with his feet, thankful that he was now wearing pants, and continued on with her questions. When she asked  where Keeper was now, Bobo began to sob. He said, “Keeper died on the spaceship. Keeper was very old and this was to be Its last mission.  Fortunately, Keeper taught me everything about flying and navigating  the ship, so I was able to land it myself. Now, I am all alone.”

Rosie’s heart began to break for him, but the sympathy would have to wait until later. First, she would have to make Bobo appear somewhat normal before the agents came, and she needed more answers. She asked, “ Bobo, Where are you from? Are you human? How do you speak English? Why were you naked? Do you have a wife? Could you demonstrate how Keeper rubs your back? “

Bobo began gently rubbing Rosie’s back, saying “I know I can’t do this as well as Keeper because I only have two hands, and they are not very furry, but I will try my best. Rosie  had to admit, it felt great. Bobo continued the back massage as he answered all of Rosie’s questions.  “I come from Home, where else would I be from? I don’t know what a human is, I don’t know what a wife is, and I don’t know what English is, I speak pet-speak like all pets. And I  was naked because pets don’t wear clothes. I don’t really like them, Can I take them off?”

Rosie said, “no, just for now, you must wear them” Then Bobo asked Rosie, “Who takes care of you?  Where is your keeper?  Is all the food here as delicious as this doughnut? “

Rosie began removing Bobo’s collar as she set about the arduous task of teaching him how to act human.  She told Bobo, “On this planet, people are their own keepers. But if you like, we can be each other’s keeper, and this could be your new home.” Bobo said, “oh yes, I would be delighted to live here”.  And just like that, Rosie was in love.

As she expected, less than an hour after Bobo’s arrival, two government agents appeared at Rosie’s door. Rosie sent  Bobo to the bedroom, before letting the agents inside.  As the investigation began, they asked Rosie if she knew why they were there. Rosie answered, “Does it have something to do with that glowy thing in the backyard?” Rosie turned out to be  a great liar. She convinced the agents she had no idea what was in her backyard, that she was too terrified to even go outside, and didn’t  have a clue what was going on.  She promised she hadn’t called or told anybody about the object, and yes she would swear, under penalty of imprisonment, to not breathe a word of this to anyone. She then brought  Bobo out of her room and said, “this is my fiancé Bob, Bob Oh.” She warned the agents that her fiancé was so shaken up by this incident, he was having an anxiety attack, and needed to take his medicine He would not able to answer any questions right now. The agents  took one look at Bobo’s tear stained face, unkempt hair, and ill-fitting clothes, and said, they would be back in a few days to interview him. Meanwhile, they would be posting a guard outside her door to make sure nobody left the house until the object in the backyard was removed. 

As the agents got ready to leave, Bobo began to say, actually, you pronounce my name Bo, but before he could finish, Rosie cut him off and told him to get himself another doughnut. He complied. He really loved doughnuts. Rosie said good-bye to the agents, and walked to her kitchen with a new bounce in her step, ready to begin her new, lovely life.