Mountous's Mission

Christian was just doing what he did everyday, measuring and cutting away in the simple little woodshop owned by his uncle. He did so with a smile on his face, always addressing customer's questions with joy and humor, and saying "yes, sir" whenever his uncle requested something of him. Oh, what a joy it was simply to be a carpenter with his calm life, in a lovely little town along the coast!

And his girlfriend, Bella, made it even better. She was a warm-hearted, intelligent, brown-haired girl, and Christian was beginning to see a future with her. After finishing in the shop today, she would come over and make carrot stew. Oh, how he loved carrot stew!

Yes, life was good. It was simple. Some might've thought it boring, and others might struggle not having a greater vision or goal for their lives, but Christian wanted nothing else. He was happy to cut wood, spend time with Bella, and make carrot stew.

However, in the shop that day, something happened that upset his enjoyable routine. As he was cleaning, he swept some wood shavings into a nearby pile. And quite oddly, even though the windows to the shop were closed, a strong breeze began blowing. The pile of shavings started spinning and twirling violently. The wind blew faster and faster, and the shavings twirled in a circle around Christian.

He slapped at the shavings and even started running away, until a strong, short man with a short gray beard and thick goatskin boots suddenly appeared in front of him.

"Stop! I am your God, and I command thee," The man said in a nasally voice. Then his eyes darted away as he thought for a second. "Well, one of them, anyways," the voice said.

Christian was surprised at first, and then smiled. "Oh, what joy, to be contacted by a God!" Christian said. "How can I help you, sir? Or," he shuddered, "Are you here to damn me?"

"Call me 'Mountous'," the man said. He then tilted his head back, rose his hands above his head, and closed his eyes as he began speaking dramatically. "And fear not, I am not here to damn thee. I'm calling on you with something very important. I'm in dire need of a soldier, a citizen, a hero to come to my aid. Only you, Christian, son of Andrew the third of Nasmeth, can help me. Know that the mission will be dangerous, but the--"

"Oh, that's ok, I'm happy as things are," Christian said swiftly.

"--reward is great," Mountous continued. But then he stopped short at hearing Christian's remark and opened his eyes. "What did you say?"

"I just want to spend time with Bella, my girlfriend, and make carrot stew. But thanks for the invitation, I know you don't extend such a thing lightly."

Mountous was stunned, and his eyes opened wide. "But, I'm a God," he said.

"Do I have to go?" Christian questioned.

"Well... I..." Mountous stuttered. "No, I guess not, I wouldn't want to make you."

"Then I'll pass, thanks." Christian said. "See you around!" He said cheerfully, and walked out of the shop.

Mountous was in disbelief. He dropped his arms, looking defeated, as he snapped his fingers and disappeared in a gust of wind.

Christian went to his hut, where Bella was waiting for him as planned. He told her what had happened as they made stew together. As he told her, she looked at him and began to stir the big pot more slowly. "A God, you say? Wow, that's something!" She said, in her typical bubbly manner, and went back to stirring at her normal speed.

"Yes, and he was going on about some sort of 'mission'. I hope he finds what he's looking for."

"What?" She said quickly, stopping stirring and looking at him again.

"I hope he finds someone to help him with his mission," Christian said, wondering what part of the story she had missed.

"Christian, it sounds like he wanted you for the mission," she said. She dropped the spoon she was stirring with all together now and put all her attention on him now. "If a God asked you, it must have been for a good reason. You can't just say no."

"Yes, and I'd love to help, really, but he said it was dangerous, and it sounded like a lot of work, frankly. I'm quite happy with the way things are."

She paused. "Christian, you have to go," she said bluntly.

"Nope," he disagreed. "I don't. He said I don't have to if I don't want to."

"That's not what I mean," she said firmly. "You should go on the mission. How many people are given such an honor? Missions like this are what life is about."

"Maybe missions are what life is about for some people," Christian said. "But for me it's about wood, stew, and you," he said, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

She blushed, smiled, put her arms around him, and said, "Alright, then, no missions for now."

At that moment the stew started boiling over, and a burnt smell filled the air.

"See?" Christian said. "This is what missions and talk of missions do to your life."

---

Meanwhile, on Mount Olympus, Mountous was talking with his Father, Zues.

"MOUNTOUS!" Zues's voice boomed. "Have you recovered my grandson from the tree, yet?"

"No, father," Mountous responded sadly. "The tree Pan grew with his flute can only be climbed by a mortal, and the mortal carpenter Christian said he'd rather not."

"Rather not?" Zues questioned. "He just said no?"

"Yes, father."

Zues hesitated, surprised that a mortal would be so daring. Then he recovered, saying "You are a God, Mountous, the son of Zues and Mt. Everest! Put fear into the tiny mortal. Use your abilities!"

"Of course, father," Mountous said submissively. He was intimidated by Zues. "I'll use my powers further, then, and try to convince the mortal with intimidation."

"Great," Zues said, "That'll do." Then, with his eyes filling with a playful look and lighthearted feeling in his voice, he asked, "How is your mother these days?"

"She misses you greatly, father," Mountous responded, smiling. "But she's still as big and tall as always."

"That she is, that she is..." Zues said, with nostalgic remembrance on his face from the time he had spent making love to Mount Everest.

---

Christian walked down the street, whistling and carrying wood from the lumberjack's hut, happy not to be on a mission.

Then, suddenly a wind began to blow hard and fast around him, and a cloud began to form.

"Great, this again," Christian said irritably.

The cloud grew more and more dense, until Christian couldn't see and he dropped the wood. He closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, he was standing on the peak of a snowy peak. For miles, all he saw were tall, enormous mountains and gray, snowy sky. He rubbed his forehead in impatient irritation.

"CHRISTIAN!" A voice boomed from the ground. And the ground he was standing on gave from under him in an avalanche, and he began sliding down the mountain. He slid and slid until he fell into a crevice in the mountain, and fell for a long time, for what Christian thought might be miles, until he fell softly on a into a pile of sand deep in the mountain. It was weirdly hot now, and as Christian looked around, he saw flowing lava.

And standing next to the river of lava was Mountous, with his goatskin boots.

Before he could say anything, Christian yelled furiously, "Look, man, I don't want to go on your stupid mission! That wood needs to get to the shop before Mr. Blodgett--"

"MORTAL!" Mountous boomed, and the earth began to shake. Rock grew from the ground below Christian's feet, until it formed a cocoon around him, only keeping his head and face free.

Christian rolled his eyes. "Look," he said. "You said I don't have to go, what are you doing? Why are you trying to intimidate me?"

Mountous looked fiercly into Christian's eyes, but after a few seconds, suddenly started crying.

"Mortal, you don’t understand. Hermes has put my nephew in Pan's tree, which can only be climbed by mortals. Zues has made it my responsibility to rescue him. And as a carpenter, you'll be able to handle all the wooden obstacles that come your way. I needyou!"

"Find another carpenter," Christian said meanly. "I don't want to climb a stupid tree."

Mountous kept weeping. "All the other Gods get mortals do their bidding easily, I don't know why I have such a problem with you! I don't know what to do."

"Look, I feel bad man, but I just want to hang out with Bella and make stew. I need you to understand that."

"Fine!" Mountous said spitefully. "Enjoy your stupid stew. Ignore a mission a God is giving you!"

The rock cocoon fell from around Christian's body. As he brushed off some leftover dirt, he said "Thanks. And I really do wish you the best with your son, I'm sorry to hear he's stuck." And the world morphed around him, until he was back home, standing next to the wood he had dropped.

---

That evening, as he was making carrot stew again with Bella, he told her about what happened. Her eyes widened as he told her about the cloud, falling down the mountain, and the lava.

"Christian!" She said, exasperated. She stopped stirring the pot of stew again.

"What?"

"You have to go on this mission."

"No, no way. Look, I'm sad to hear his baby is caught in this tree, but it's not my responsibility. What if I get hurt and can't cut wood? And who knows how long I'll be gone, and when the next time will be that I get to eat carrot stew?"

She gave him a hard look. "I'll pack you some stew to take with you," she said sarcastically.

"I just don't think adventure and helping him is worth my safety or time," Christian said. "He can find someone else to do it."

"Adventure is a part of life," Bella said. "A big part. And it's maybe the only thing your life is really missing."

"I don't feel like I'm missing anything," Christian responded grumpily. He was a bit hurt that Bella thought his life was missing something.

She felt a little guilty for saying that, but knew she was right, and recovered. "It's simply your duty," Bella said. "When destiny calls you to adventure, you go. Your people need you to. You grow, and become a better man. And plus, it's fun," she said playfully, elbowing him.

He smiled weakly, but was not convinced. "I'm happy with the way things are," he said firmly.

They sat quietly for a bit. Bella thought, and then said, "I don't think I can be with you if it prevents you from taking a path that destiny has set forth for you. I love you. And this is for your own good: if you don't go on the mission, I cannot be with you." 

He knew she meant the best. And yet, he couldn't suppress a certain part of himself, and said, "Then be off with you, I can be happy without you, too," he said meanly.

She looked at him fiercely and began to cry. And without saying anything, she walked out.

As the door closed on her way out, Christian smelled smoke. The carrot stew was not just burning this time, but flames had started to appear on the stovetop. He hurriedly put out the fire with buckets of water, and smacked a large blanket on top of it to put it out.

"Things are changing, aren't they?" He said to himself with a huff.

---

That next day, Christian had a terrible time in the shop. All the pieces of wood he cut were slightly too long or too short, and he hurt himself twice. He even did something he never did, tripping over a toolbox and faceplanting into a pile of shavings.

After the long day finished, he began walking home. But as he realized he would be home alone, and that Bella would not be there, tears began to well in his eyes.

If she had left him in spite, it would be different. But he knew that she loved him, and that she was leaving him so that he would do not just what was best for everyone, but for himself. He could not just make carrot stew all day, he needed to grow.

He could feel now in his heart that destiny really was calling him, and that he had no choice but to go on the mission. He must get in touch with Mountous and tell him he had changed his mind.

He walked into his backyard and thought. How does one call the god of mountains? He wondered. 

Then, he got an idea. 

He started gathering all the rocks he could from around his yard. Small ones, big ones. He worked for hours, gathering rocks from the nearby forest. He built a large stack of stones so high that it was taller than his hut.

After he was done, he sat back with his hands on his hips, appreciating his work. Then he climbed up the stack of rocks and sat on top. He waited. He waited, but no wind came, and no nasally voice of his immortal friend.

After it grew dark, and his neighbor called him a "weirdo", he climbed down the stack and walked into his hut with his shoulders slumped.

"Hey, sorry I'm back, but I really need your help," a voice rang from the corner of his hut. Mountous was there, eating some of his leftover stew! "This really is quite good, I understand now why you like it so much," said straightly.

"What? What are you doing here?" Christian questioned, still a bit startled. "Where were you?" 

"I was waiting for you to get back," he said. "How else did you think we'd get in touch with each other?

Christian rolled his eyes. His rock tower has been for nothing.

"I know you don't want to go, and I know I'm bothering you, but look, I have no choice. I'll just keep annoying you with my request, and you can keep ignoring me. No problem. I just need to keep bugging you to keep my dad off my case."

Even though the God was immortal and all-powerful, Christian felt sympathy for this obviously new and immature deity.

"Actually, I've changed my mind" Christian said.

"Yeah, yeah, you want to cut wood and eat stew, I know," Mountous said, not listening. Then his face perked up. "Wait, what?"

"I said I'll do it."

Mountous's jaw dropped. After a second or two, he began to celebrate. "Yes, yes, this is great! Oh, Christian, thank you! You have no idea what this means. And it's a great adventure, I promise. Lots of challenges, and danger, and heroic deeds. Oh, you'll grow so much."

"Ugh," Christian said. "Stop telling me about it before I change my mind."

Mountous stopped abruptly. "Ok," he said, with his hands held out cautiously. "But what finally made you decide to go?"

"Bella," Christian said simply.

"Ah, a girl," Mountous responded. "I understand. When the nypmh Leuce and I got together--"

"Please," Christian interrupted. "Don't tell me any stories about Gods having sex with each other. Just take me on my stupid mission."

"Alright, alright," Mountous said, a little hurt. "But at least let me reassure you about your calling. I, too, resisted my destiny for a time. When I was young, all I wanted to do was knit. But my father, Zues, would not let me. He instead told me that I was responsible for taking care of the mountains. So that is where I sit."

"That sounds lonely," Christian said, now rethinking his decision again. "And what's wrong with knitting?"

"Listen! But there was a distinct difference before and after I was given that responsibility. Before, I was child, and I saw nothing bigger than myself. Afterwards, I lost some of that childlike joy, but something new arose in me. Something spiritual. I then had meaning, lifeforce. It's hard to explain unless you have it. But I promise you, young Christian, your life will change for the better."

Christian looked downward. "I don't really get it, but I think I get it," he said. "I didn't want to risk losing that joy. That's why I resisted the mission. But I'm convinced now, and I understand now what Bella wanted. Not just for you or your son, not everyone else, but for me."

"Right on," Mountous said, smiling. "Let's go, then."

The wind started spinning and howling. A could formed, and they couldn't see. And when they opened their eyes, they were somewhere else.