THE HOBBIES

After my father-in-law, Tat, as we lovingly called him, retired as a welder from the Navy Yard, he took up many interests and hobbies. Tat always was a handy-man who could put in walls, floors and he loved re-modeling anything. But, he would go overboard with each hobby. He was into gold fish for a while. The various species were beautiful, but I could not breathe in his family room with all the fish tanks and smells and bubbling noises. After a few bouts of sea-sickness-the fish left!

Then he got into homing and carrier pigeons. He raced these ugly little things and even joined a ‘pigeon club’. He built coops everywhere. We gave up sitting in the yard because of all the droppings his friends left behind. The sky in the yard looked cloudy with all the hundreds of birds constantly looming overhead. After winning a few trophy “pigeons” he gave this up.

Then he took up fishing. I mean FISHING--everyday! He would go alone, with friends, relatives or anyone interested. He would sit on the pier, the beach or hang over a boat. No matter the fishing locale, he left at 5 am and returned at 5 pm with a leaking bag of treasure. My mother-in-law had a freezer filled with his catches.

Once he decided to go into the sales business. He bought left-over stock from different places and auctions. After selling to all the relatives he could, he would load up the trunk of his car and drive to different locations. There he would open the trunk and the neighbors would browse and buy. After a while, he had a neighborhood by neighborhood schedule and people waited for him to arrive. He thought this was finally more than a hobby--he was making money!

 We used to have a big party every Saturday night for our friends and relatives and my husband, Ron, thought it would be fun giving a little gift to everyone and buying them would help Tat with his new hobby. Once we bought hand-painted, flowered ties for all the guys. Then we bought wool nose warmers? Then there were the glittery finger guards?? They went over big. But the red fish-net stockings caused quite a hoot!

One week he said he had a bag of argyle socks that he said he could probably sell for quite a bit, but we could have them for $2. The only thing was that we had to match them up! When we emptied the bag, there must have been 300 SOCK! since no two matched. I told Ron that we had to stop buying stuff. My nephew, Tommy, worked in construction and he wore a pair of mismatched ‘sock’ everyday. (Who knew that this mismatched sock thing would catch on thirty years later?) 

The following week, Tat came over and told us he had a real bargain. It was a beautiful beige suit in my husband’s size with a vest. Ron tried it on and, I had to admit, it looked great. He sold it to us for $10.00. I thought maybe he was going to make a success out of this venture.

The following Saturday, there was a dance at LaSalle College for which Ron was chairman. We got there early and all his friends kept telling him how fantastic the suit looked. He said to me that his dad’s hobby had finally paid off. He had gotten a good deal! As the hall was filling up, the lights were turned down and the disco ball lit up. As I turned to look for Ron, I saw him! There-then- there-then-there! Everyone was howling! The dang suit glowed in the dark!

One Saturday, he stopped over with his loaded trunk. My girlfriend was visiting and we all sat down for coffee. She was telling me about the dress she bought for the wedding she was going to the following week. Tat heard us and told her he had just the thing to go with her black dress. I shuddered a little, but followed them out to the car. He showed her a pair of beautiful black, leather gloves. She loved them and the $5.00 sale was made. 

Two weeks later, my girlfriend stopped by. She said she hated to tell me but…..when she got to the church for the wedding she pulled out the gloves and was thrilled as she put one on. She said she couldn’t believe her luck buying these beautiful gloves for such a reasonable price …..but….unfortunately, both of them turned out to be for the same hand!

The final straw was when Tat told us he had another brand new hobby. He had made a great deal to buy a load of top-shelf sneaks from this store that was going out of business. He decided that shoes were the way to go. I told Ron not to buy any. But after I saw them, they were Converse and so nice that I had to, reluctantly, ask my father-in-law if there was any way he could get a pair of mens’ size sixteen. My brother, Tom’s birthday was coming up and he had been looking for a good pair of sneakers but his size was hard to find and they were very expensive.

The night of his birthday bash at the German club arrived. I took the classy sneaks, size sixteen, that my father-in-law found for only $7.00. After all Tom’s friends crowded around for the birthday song and the cutting of the cake, he proceeded to open his gifts. When he got to ours, he opened the lid and saw a pair of beautiful sneakers. He said, “Mary, this is fantastic!” He took off his shoe and tried the spotless white sneaker on and everyone clapped. I thought I saw a tear in his eye!

As he removed the tissue paper to get the other one to try on-he gasped! I almost died! The second sneaker was a size seven! That’s the last deal we made with Tat!