Thriller Mystery

Standing in the middle of the brutal crowed with pissed pair of pants and sticky spray all over him, Shani was so embarrassed to lookup but can hear everybody's laughter. In the meanwhile, the bell rang; "it’s time to go home" Naina said. She was barely able to control her laugh. The irritating sound of the school bell was like bells of heaven for him.

As everyone was going to leave the basketball court and he was going to get some time alone. That night he cried himself to sleep.

Shani was a shy child. He was new to this school and didn't have friends. He used to get bullied now and then, but this time his fellows humiliated him, and that made his senior year hell.

The next day, Mr. Ameer called roll call, and everybody; Ayesha, Bali, Danial, Luna, Jay, and Naina was there. However, Shani missed school.

Mr. Ameer asked out of curiosity, " Does anyone have a clue why Shani is not in the class?"

"Maybe his pants haven't dried yet!" Danial quickly replied sarcastically, and there was a roar of laughter. "Or maybe he is hiding in his locker," Luna added.

Mr. Ameer started the class before that discussion about the possibilities could go any further.

The next day Shani came to school and came to know that he has so many names now like piss pants, sticky, and namby-pamby. In this senior year, he tried his best not to get bothered by these names and from the fellow's actions.

senior year ending, everybody was busy in preparing for their college interviews and exams; In that hustle and bustle, Shani was planning to throw a grand party at his place

The Sudden change is his behavior was making everyone curious he was communicating with the class despite his names. And now, he is throwing a party. In the hallway, Shani heard his name in a famine voice. He looked and saw Ayesha; she was the only person who was nice to him.

"What's the matter with you?" Ayesha asked.

"What are you talking about?" Shani counter-questioned with a smirk.

"You know what I am talking about, The sudden change in your behavior is bothering me. After that incident, you were different; you were quite when I asked you to stop being that way, come back to life; do you remember what you said? You said, " I am going to be this way till the end of the year." Now, what is this? Partying, hanging out with Bile, Luna, Danial, Naina, and Jay." She asked.

She was upset, he saw that and he saw the tender concern in her wide Hazel eyes. He felt the slowness of time for a moment and looked away and took some millisecond to compile himself.

Then he said, "I know! what I said, and it is the end of the year, are you coming to the party?"

"No, I am not! Why would I? I don't know you now". Ayesha replied in anger and went toward her class.

Shani shrugged and pulled his books out of his backpack and went to his class.

After a High school graduation party sitting at luna's place, Shani asked in excitement, "Everybody coming to the party," there was something unusual about his enthusiasm like he was secreting something.

Daniel asked, "Is everything alright? I saw you near the blood bank yesterday."

"Yah! everything is fine; I was there to meet a friend." Shani replied while cleaning sweat from his face, Daniel shrugged.

The party was in Shani's old neighborhood at the old rented house that he had only rented for his party. Along with some of his class fellows, he Had also invited his old school's friends, Richi and Adam.

Party was going smoothly. Eatables, lightning, decorations, and music was just perfect.

This happy gathering turned into a nightmare when lights went out with some cracking noise.

"No, lights no, gathering we should go," Jay suggested. everybody agreed, they went towards the door, they tried their best to open it, but all in vain, it was locked, then they went to open the window, but the windows were stuck, in the condition of stress the sound of footsteps coming from upstairs got everybody's attention.

"Everybody stays close and tight, while I go upstairs and check," Adam said.

Everybody held each other tight under the dim lights of their mobile's flashlights.

"Adam is taking a little while longer than expected; is he going to be alright?" Beli said in a shaky voice.

"Adam!!" Shani shouted while approaching the staircase.

As they reached the staircase, they saw a phone drenched in blood tumble down. Everybody was shocked. Shani bent down and picked up the phone.

"It’s Adam's phone," Shani shout.

Everyone was about to scream, then a loud collapsing sound, got their attention, it was the sound of the body that had just fallen between the landing of the staircase.

Everybody has started screaming and crying, "Adam is dead we all are going to die," Luna shouted while sobbing.

Some of them were trying to open the door and windows. "let's go into this side room and call the police," Danial suggested.

"My phone is catching no signals," Naina said.

Everyone ran into the side room and saw an open window and felt somewhat loose. Beli took some steps to analyze the situation outside the window before he could look, a man wearing a black dress and ski mask jumped into the room from that way out and pointed a gun at everyone and threatened them to follow his instructions so, they did what he said, they put their hands up in the air and marched into the living room, where they saw the mask man's partner who was wearing the same kind of dress with a ski mask.

Everyone was terrified, and they were begging for their lives in the main while one of the masked men gave Shani a rope and ordered him to tie others. When Shani was done with the assigned task, then the second masked man tossed a key toward Shani. Shani grabbed it he opened the door and went out as the other was in the state of confusion and horror light came. After some while, Shani entered in the living room laughing at the very moment those two masked men pulled off their mask; they were non-other then Richi and Adam.

"Now who is namby-pamby?" Shani asked

"So, you were behind the lights out skit? " Daniel sounded furious.

"yes! and you know it took me a whole year to plan this perfect event," Shani answered with pride.

"What about the dead body?" Luna asked, her voice was still shaky.

"That was the fake body I know nobody would look however, the blood was real," Shani said.

"And the signal problem was due to the signal jammer device," Richi added.

"I have called your mom Beli. She is coming to rescue you all," Adam said.

"Are you going to leave us like this?" Beli asked

"Yes!" Shani replied.

Shani and his friends came out of the house watching the sky full of stars. They hugged and went their ways.

After two days Shani was in the cab ready to go to college. His way towards college, he wrote about his successful revenge. However, at the end of the page, he asked himself a question.

                         Was it worth losing Ayesha?

 He recalled her wide Hazel eyes, looked outside the glass, and smiled.

September 11, 2020 08:11

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Doubra Akika
10:19 Sep 14, 2020

Such a creative story! Bullying is never okay. The plot was great. Loved reading and seeing how it evolved. I loved how you got into it and described the name-calling and other aspects and that the teacher barely noticed. In situations like that, they barely notice. The ending was great too because in the end, High School doesn't last forever and we see that. There were a lot of times while writing where you didn't use the show not tell approach and I feel that was really necessary in the story you were trying to tell. It's important to ...


Zainab Shahid
10:43 Sep 14, 2020

Thank you so much. I sincerely cherish That you have read my story. Thank you for your time and guidance. I'll follow your suggestions. Your suggestion and appreciation mean a lot. Thanks! once again and stay safe :)


Doubra Akika
11:04 Sep 14, 2020

My pleasure honestly! Glad I could help.


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07:52 Sep 17, 2020

Nice story and up to date, I might say. Bullying is always present everywhere you go. This is a great payback for all bullies, but I hope it doesn't happen in real life. I liked how you gave this prompt a gist of real life. The ending was marvelous because we all know revenge doesn't always feel good and sometimes has some consequences. I hope you have time to drop a comment on my story! Thank you!


Zainab Shahid
15:13 Sep 17, 2020

Thank you so much, Ricky! for appreciation :)


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Lynn Penny
17:16 Sep 13, 2020

This was a good take on the prompt, full marks for creativity! I liked the set up you used and the long drawn out revenge. All of the hints were there and it tied up to a great execution. My advice for enhancing your work is to say the sentences and dialogue as you write them. Some of your sentences seem stiff, but that is a skill that develops the more you write.


Zainab Shahid
18:51 Sep 13, 2020

Thank you so much. I appreciate your time and guidance. :) Once again, Thanks!


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