Never Forgotten

The smell of herbs and spices filled the air as the roaring sounds of laughter joy spread warmth through the air. The heavy -dense air that had a choke hold on our lives was finally laid to rest. People were no longer in hiding with  music and love running rampant through the streets. Walking through the living room, hearing  Uncle Silas’ booming voice telling the many stories of daring adventures on youth “ An this one time I…” with the younger cousin sitting like waiting for the juicy tales of fun. Aunt Gene sat quietly showing the adults and a few of the curious  kids how to play the  Koto. The strings masterfully puked creating a serene contrast to the jingles of laughter in the room. Among all of the cacophony of  joyous music, sat my beloved cousin, Iris in a loveseat in the far corner of the room. Walking towards her, I prop myself on the corner of the arm rest. The tense stances in her muscles gave way. She seemed to relax more than earlier. Not saying a word, she looks into the room as a  soldier looks at a minefield, unsure and corner. Her eyes seem to dart back and forth from the Koto to the lone piano on the far side of the room. An idea floats into my head. Racing up the steps to my room, I grab my old friend from its hiding place. One I once thought would never see the light of day as long as the hand of the general remained firm. Coming back to the living , I began to play our favorite song from when we were younger. The soft, airy notes floated into the atmosphere. As the notes rang out the shifted to catch the fluttering notes of a time long ago. The soft notes of the flute rang loud  in the room the soft notes laid heavy on all hearts. As the notes began to crescendo, the melodious keys of the lone piano rang loud and clear as Grandma Kim’s hand danced across the keys. The notes created a dazzling picture of the warm, spring skies filled with sweet steamed buns and lazing by the lake. Slowly as if the notes began to unlock the hearts of to the time before the war and before the skies turned black with smokes. The Koto chimed in as quietly and beautifully as Aunt Gene. The  notes and the melodies merged together beautifully to flutter throughout the house as a butterfly waltzes around its home. The beautiful butterfly soared higher and higher as each person slowly joined in.

“ STOP It, Finian!” range out , dispelling the magic and the beautiful butterfly spiraled down strangled by the black covered skies.

“ What is wro-” I began to ask

“ It’s nothing. I mean we have to  be more careful. Just because the general is dead doesn’t mean we are all free. His men are still out there. For them music is still banned and is punishable.” Iris  sharply stated. Looking at the instruments with weariness and sorrows.

“ The peace keepers have already taken care of all and any of the men that worked for the general. Lord Nassir defeated General Zagan in the battle of Naji. Killing the head of the serpent. Nothing can live without its head, so there is nothing to fear. He is gone.” came the calm words of Auntie May

“ But..-” came the rebuttal as the sirens blared. Waking up locked away memories of the times of long ago. We stood frozen in our own silent terror. One could look around the room to see the silent film of each person’s experience play out their face. 

“ This is just a drill, please do not panic, This is just a drill” comes the voice out of the intercom. One by one the ending credits play as the tears and pains of a former time of whisked away. Even though the words played out, no one moved either from fear or worry, no one can tell.

“ Dinner’s ready” comes the sweeping winds of Aunt May’s kind, strong voice that melted the ice from our veins. We all moved towards the kitchen to sit at the dinner table. Everyone sat at their seat at the  table avoiding the one seat that will never be filled again. I looked down at the head of  the table to where Grandpa Lee would sit and smoke his pipe at the table. Grandma Kim would fuss and fret and he would tell a joke to make her smile.  Now, Grandma Kim sits with her head held high looking at the family. Aunt May grabs her hand as she and the kids set the table and bring out the food. After saying grace, The family eases into normal conversation. The weather, food, how uncle Silais is balding or Uncle Pat is not a singer( not even an ok one).

“ Fin, how did you keep your Flute all this time?” Asked Cedric.

“ I hid it when the Wrangle men came and didn’t play it for a while.” I quickly answered.

“ If you didn’t play it. How did you play that song ?” Asked Lexi, her big brown eyes staring bubbling with curiosity.

“ When you the music, you can just play it. You have it stored away until the right time.” I say

“ Where did you keep it?” Asked Amyntas her round purple eyes mimicked Lexi's sister.

“ In his pocket, stupid” came the reply of Cayden and a smack in the head from Aunt Bella.

“ Not exactly, When you know music, you can store it in your heart almost like a feeling so that it never leaves you.” I say to Amyntas. Her eyes widened and the cogs and gears shifted in her mind trying to understand.

“ You can put stuff in your heart?” asked Lexi

“ Yeah, music gives you a feeling. No one can ever take away the feel music gives. Once you get that feeling, you can’t let it go.” I say with a small smile.

“ That can be said about you and the flute. Grandpa Lee gave Fin his flute when he was your age Lexi. He has never left its side. The song “Butterfly Lovers” was his first song and Iris’s as well.” comes the warm praise of Grandma Kim.

“ What have you been up too these days, Iris ? The last I heard you were trying your hand at knitting." asked Aunt Ruth.

“ The last I heard was Cooking.” said Uncle Pat

“ I thought it was baking” said Aunt Ritza

“ No, She was doing photography.” said Uncle Gerald

“ No, it was gardening” said Cindy

“ I’m doing Nothing!” came the roar of Iris silencing the table.

“ So you now have no hobbies or passions?” asked Grandma Kim

“ Nothing seems to stick, so now I have nothing.” comes the soft reply of Iris

“ Why don’t you play the violin like you used to? You were a wonderful  violinist” says Aunt Ruth. Aunt May shot a death glare at Aunt Ruth

“ I can’t play anymore”  Iris whispers out. Sounding like an train that has lost its steam.

“ Can’t play or won’t play are two different things.” says Uncle Silias

“ I said I-”

“ Paint!.. I mean you painted for a long time. You made some great pictures. Did you ever finish your mural you were working on?” I asked to keep Iris from snapping too much. 

“ No” was her simple reply as she left the table. Aunt May raised to get up and Grandma Kim  grabbed her arm and shook her head.

“ She has lost her tune and she is trying to find it again.” comes the words of Grandma Kim. Dinner continued without any other disruptions. When dinner was over, everyone help to clean the kitchen and put little ones to bed. I began my search for Iris. Going up the stairs, I knocked on her bedroom door. No answer.

“ Iris...Ris” I called out. The door creaked open to reveal a storm of clothes and music sheets scattered around the room. Looking around, in the far right corner was a beautiful red case with the words engraved papilio meum ( My butterfly). The sound of a large Thump came from above my head. Grabbing the case, I make my way to the attic. Climbing the old rickety stairs, I open the door to see Iris sitting in a chair staring at a clothed mural. I leave the case by the door hidden from her view.

“ You know Aunt Ruth didn’t mean any harm by what she said. All that she said  was true. You are a spectacular violinist. No one can play like you.” I say as I walk  closer towards her.

“ What does it matter to them what I do?” ask Iris

“ It matters to the family that you can be happy?” I say

“ Who says I’m not happy?” ask Iris as she jerks around to face me with a face like fire

“ You do. Jumping from thing to thing just seems like your….lost.” I said. She remains silent turning back to  the sheet over the large wall mural.

“ I’m fine. I just have many interests.” She said lamely

“ Right.. An interest actually keeps your interest. You don’t abandon it.”

“ I didn’t abandon anything.”

“ You stopped cooking and baking because you almost burned down the house. You gave up gardening because of the dirt and bugs. You gave up photography because you were bored and you said “it was too much of a learning curve”” I say as I sit on the floor near her.

“ Having a hobby or any type of interest means you keep working on it to get better at it. Because somewhere in your heart, in your begin, this thing becomes  like music. Music is how people can speak to the soul of another person.” I say

“ Music has brought us nothing but pain and suffering.” she says moving from the chair towards the window.

“ That was under the general. He hated music because It brought people together. Music created a united front that could stop him. People of moved by music.” I say

“ Why do you hate music?” I ask

“ It’s dangerous” she says

“ How” I ask getting up from the floor to  move towards the window

“ Because it just is!” Iris yells jerking further away from me. Stepping back I look at the sheet covering the wall mural. Walking towards the mural, I pull back the sheet with the cries of Iris yelling to not touch it. The falling of the sheet reveals a beautiful mural of paint and sparkling glass of two butterflies in a field  with blue skies with an colorful array of musical notes on display. The notes read the tune of “Butterfly Lovers” with bold and bright colors. The finished wall was breathtaking.

“ Why did you lie?”

“ Because then everyone would ask questions that I can’t answer.” comes the soft reply

“ can’t answer or won’t answer.” I ask only to be answer with no reply.

“ Why are you so afraid of music?”

“ It brings nothing good, so there is no use for it.” Comes her fiery reply. I moves towards the door and pick up the violin case.

“ Then I guess you don’t need this then.” I say as I walk towards the window. Her eyes widen as she makes haste to stop me.

“ What are you doing!? Give that back. It is Mine!”

“ You have no use for it, so..” I say as I push open the window in an attempt to throw the violin case out.

“ please stop! I can’t , no I won’t lose the only thing I have left of him.” she shouts as she tries to fight me for the case with tear strain eyes. Pulling the case back into the safe confines of the attic. I give Iris the case. Like a house of cards, she crumbles to the floor holding on to the case for dear life and sobbing. When she calms down, she says in a small voice “ I won’t play because my music killed grandpa Lee.”

“ What are you talking about?” I asked

“ When the wrangle men came, Grandpa Lee died  protecting me. He had given me this violin for my 10th  birthday, but I only allowed it to play it sparingly because of General Zagan’s order. One day, I just couldn’t wait, so I found where they hid my violin and played. I don’t know how long I played, caught up in the music. That’s when the wrangle men came and…” the tears started to rain down again like a waterfall as Iris cried for all the years of hurts and silent pain.

“ It's all my fault. Grandpa Lee is gone because of me and my music.” she cried as she made a move to break the case. Moving quickly, I stopped the case from hitting the floor and hugged Iris close to my chest.

“ Grandpa Lee died protecting you and your music. He gave this whole family the gift of music. Grandpa Lee embodied the love of music so much that it was in his very soul. A soul that he gave to each one of his family. He lives in us through our music.” I whisper as I rock back and forth.

“ The best way to honor him is to play the music for him. Let him hear what you do with the life he saved. Don’t hide away your gift because hiding your gift brings him no honor. With your music, He is never forgotten.” I say As Iris looks at me and the violin case in her lap.

“ Never forgotten” she says with a small smile on her face.