The Birthday Party

The birthday party

Twelve-year-old Alice Wainwright sat, fuming, in her mother’s car.

“I don’t want to go to this party, mother.”

Alice’s mother sighed.

“Alice, dear, Bobby Jones’s mother is my biggest client, and she asked for you to attend. I think Bobby likes you.”

“He’s a dork, mum. I don’t understand half the things he says.”

“Well, be nice to him. At least until she signs the contract.”

Alice gave a loud, vocal, exasperated sigh, got out the car, slammed the door and yelled, “I hate you, mum.”

To which Alice’s mum yelled, “Enjoy yourself,” and drove off.

Alice headed towards the door with the ribbon of her dress trailing in the dirt, all her anger vanishing. She pressed the doorbell and Bobby Jones’s mother appeared.

“Alice, you’ve come. Bobby will be so pleased.”

Alice brushed past her and headed to the noise coming from the backyard. She was about to claim her share of cake and lemonade when someone shouted.

“Alice, Alice.”

Alice groaned. Bobby had found her.

“Alice, would you like to try my new toy?”

Bobby stood there with a bright new toy in his hand.

“What’s that?” asked Alice, her curiosity aroused.

“It’s a little robot,” said Bobby, “it walks. Do you want to try it?”

“Bobby, you are such a nerd,” sneered Alice and went to get her share of cake. Crestfallen, Bobby put the robot, and it’s control, on the table and followed Alice out.

Bobby’s mother was a single mother, and Bobby was her only son and showered on him all that her job and money allowed. She had an enormous cake made and printed in the icing, made possible by some technological miracle, was a picture of Bobby surrounded by little wax candle statues modelled on him.

She had handpicked sons and daughters of clients and potential contracts, one hundred boys and girls. To entertain the children, she hired a clown. He stumbled amongst them blowing up balloons, telling childish jokes and playing pranks on the children, but all he attained were derisive laughter or shrieks of horror.

In the corner stood a stage where a magician pulled out rabbits from hats and napkins from canes. His main trick was making his over weight assistant disappear.

Alice went to one of the small tables near the birthday cake covered in cupcakes, ice-cream, chocolate and many lollies. Bobby’s mother removed any allergens in the food, but just in case there was a jar full of epipens. Just as Alice grabbed a handful of doughnuts, Bobby tapped her shoulder.

“Why don’t you come and see my robot. You can control it from your mobile phone.”

Alice didn’t answer but stuffed a chocolate doughnut in her mouth. Bobby’s shoulder slumped, then pulled up.

“Would you like to see my dollies?”

This grabbed Alice’s attention.

“What is a boy doing with girls’ toys?” asked Alice, wiping the chocolate from her mouth.

“Girls and boys should have the same toys, my mum says.”

Alice always thought his mum was weird. She remembered her older brother saying that Bobby once had two mums. Alice imagined having another mother. If she was like the one she had now, she shuddered. Grabbing two more doughnuts, a couple of cupcakes and stuffing chocolates into her dress pocket, she said, “OK”

They went up to Bobby’s room. Alice looked in awe.

“You have your own toy room?”

“Sure, doesn’t everybody.”

The room was full of toy trucks, scooters, toy guns, toy soldiers and play stations. Mixed among them were dolls of all sizes, skipping ropes, toy tea sets and a very large dolls house.

“Look at this one,” said Bobby handing Alice a doll like a diapered baby.

“If you rock it, it makes noises,”

Alice rocked it and little gurgle and a goo came out of its circular open mouth.

“And if you hold it upright, it wets itself.”

“Ugh! Gross,” said Alice, dropping the doll.

Just at that moment Bobby’s mum yelled out.

“Bobby, come here. The magician is ready for you.”

Bobby, always the obedient son, ran out to her, leaving Alice alone in the room who began poking around with her foot, revealing a little black box. She picked it up and turned it around in her hand. It had two sticks coming out of it and a few buttons and switches. She pushed one stick and a whirring noise emerged from the corner of the room. A black shape shot up from the floor, hitting the ceiling then collapsing on the floor. She approached it, then pushed the stick again. This time it shot straight at her. She ducked, and the shape disappeared out the open window.

“Children, ladies and gentlemen, I will now make my pretty assistant vanish,” said the magician, unaware the drone was heading straight for him.

“Duck,” yelled the children, and the magician jerked around to see the drone zoom straight for his head. Trying to avoid the drone, he fell against the little cupboard his assistant had just disappeared into. The cupboard toppled over, revealing the assistant stuck in the trapdoor.

Alice pulled the stick back, and the drone zoomed straight up in the air, halted, then descended in an angle straight at the group of adults gathered around the drinks table. Men and women leapt out the way knocking over the table with bottles of gin, Scotch, vodka and beer scattering everywhere, mixed up with peanuts and pretzels.

Alice again pulled the stick, and the drone spun around and zoomed straight for the very expensive birthday cake.

“Nooo!” Yelled Bobby’s mother and raced for the cake but failed to see little Cindy Hawkins gathering up all the chocolates lying about the floor. She tripped over the child at breakneck speed and flew in a graceful arc into the cake, then slid through it. Birthday cake penetrated every part of her dress.

Panicking now, Alice pressed buttons, slid switches trying to get the drone to stop, but it buzzed louder and attacked a large group of children. The clown was unaware of the chaos as he had locked himself in the Port-a-loo for a rest break, a smoke and six fingers of Scotch to calm his nerves but when he opened the door fifty screaming, panicking children were rushing at him. He froze then the drone smacked him on his bulbous, red nose knocking him back into the Port-a-loo followed by the buzzing drone. The door slammed shut, trapping him with the drone, then tipped over with the children jumping and screaming on top of loo.

Aghast, Alice dropped the control and stared at the mayhem below her. She could hear the screaming and yelling of the clown and children, she watched a foul smelling brown liquid seeping from the Port-a-loo. Men and women were sliding around the patio, swimming in alcohol and trying to avoid the broken glass. Bobby’s mother was wiping birthday cake from her face and scooping it out from her dress, swearing she would kill the person who caused this disaster, and the magician was trying to pull his assistant out of the trapdoor. Lots of children, those that had not panicked, ran around laughing, shouting and picking up chocolates, lollies and doughnuts. Chaos and pandemonium everywhere.

Moments later, Alice decided now would be a good time to leave. She phoned her mother to come and collect her. When she appeared, Alice jumped into the car.

“Well, my dear, did you enjoy yourself,” asked Alice’s mother.

“Yes, mother dear, I did.”

Alice’s mother smiled and thought of the nice juicy contract coming her way.