That's All That Mattered.

He dared me to kiss the new boy. He dared a straight boy to kiss another straight boy. The darer knew what both mine and the new boy's sexuality was, but he dared us anyway. Everyone thought I wouldn’t do it. Everyone thought I was going to be stubborn because everyone knew Tauruses were stubborn, but not all Tauruses are stubborn. So I did it - I did something that would change my life forever, something that would change both our lives forever.

2 days earlier…

I felt her lips against mine, they were soft and moist as I pushed my forehead closer to hers. This felt so wrong, but as I pushed my lips harder against hers I couldn't think of why. She pulled away and exhaled. 

“That was okay. You good?” she asked,

“Mmkay” I mumbled, I wasn't really listening to her. I was so lost. I was still so lost as I climbed into bed. School tomorrow, maybe that’ll get my mind off the daring thoughts. 

As soon as the bell rang I rushed into class, sitting down in the back row. The rest of the class mingled their way into class and found a seat. The teacher instantly started the roll,

“Sam!” 

“Charland!” She called, reading down the list.

“Hunter!” She looked up again, briefly. 

“Here!” I answered, barely looking up from my sketchbook. 

“Rowe!” 

“Present!” 

That's when I looked up. There wasn't a Rowe in this class. The boy had shaggy brown hair that faded into blue. He had bright green eyes and a smatter of freckles across his face. A new kid. He was attractive, extremely attractive. I blushed and looked back at my sketchbook.

The night was crisp and dark.  It was colder than it should have been, but I was burning hot. I was texting my girlfriend, Solane. I told her that I thought we shouldn’t be together anymore and she took it surprisingly well, extremely well. She told me that she thought that too. She truthfully said that the kiss we shared felt odd to her and she had realised why. She didn't tell me why and I didn't ask, I had no right to anyway. I sighed blissfully and turned off my phone. Picking up my pencil again, I continued to work on a park-themed sketch. There were kids playing and pairs of people walking, the landscape was divine. 

Lunch time. We were sitting under the tall oak tree, eating our lunch. The new boy, Rowe, had joined us. As well as being super attractive, he was kind and quirky. He had four dogs, played ice hockey and his favourite food was hot doughnuts. His smile was so pure that when he sent it my way, I would stare at the ground shyly. 

“Okay! I have an Idea!” Graeson yelled to the group. 

Everyone looked up from their lunch boxes. 

“Truth or Dare!” Graeson said excitedly. 

Some of the group sighed, some cheered. 

“Okay Darcy, Truth or Dare? ” He asked. 

“Dare,” Darcy sighed, looking around. 

“I dare you to… read out your search history.” he shrugged.

That dare was so easy, it appeared that she had been searching for sumo suits for the past week. The whole group laughed out loud. Darcy dared Aaron next,  something about licking a tree - he did it with ease. 

“Okay, Hunter,” Aaron said, smiling widely. 

I looked up from my sketchbook, I was surprised he picked me. 

“Truth or dare?” he asked.

“Dare,” I said, I couldn’t face one of Aaron’s dark truths today. 

“I dare you to kiss one of us,” he laughed, he thought the dare was perfect.  

“Which one of you?” I asked. 

Rowe looked up, surprised. He shrugged,

“I don’t mind,” he interrupted, smiling at me. 

The group was quiet, everyone was waiting for my response, they all thought I would decline his dare. They thought I was going to be stubborn.

I sighed. 

“Okay.”

I moved to the middle of the circle. 

Rowe followed.

“Hold it for at least two seconds.” Aaron announced, grinning. 

Rowe nodded at me and I nodded back. He leaned in so I did too. His eyes fluttered closed when we were almost touching. My eyes closed as our lips touched. He didn't pull away and I didn't either. The kiss felt like the last one I had with Solane but this time I wasn’t wondering why it felt so wrong, because it didn’t, it felt perfect. 

I exhaled sharply as the kiss ended and I looked up at Rowe, who looked down at me. He looked as surprised as I felt, not surprised in a bad way, but in a good way. He gave me his quirky smile as he backed into his place in the circle and I chuckled, blushing hard. 

I was more lost now than I was when I kissed Solane. Did I like Rowe? Wasn’t I straight? Did I like Rowe!?! It bothered me that I didn't know, it bothered me that I didn't understand these feelings.

I sighed as the bell for the end of day rang and I cleared my desk, shoving my textbooks into my bag. A piece of paper was pushed onto my desk, I looked up to find Rowe holding the page onto the table, 

“Ms. Grafurd asked me to give you this,” he smiled.

That was all, he walked away without any mention of what happened at lunch. 

I didn’t know if he wanted to forget it or if he was just as shocked as me. 

I quickly rushed home and curled up in my giant beanbag. I opened my phone and started researching. All the questions I had ended at a fork in the road. I could either tell him about what I felt or I could just forget it. I was straight anyway, wasn’t I? I was about to choose my path when my phone buzzed. I opened it, it was a text from Rowe - how’d he get my phone number? 

“Hi, just wanted to know how you felt kissing me? Stupid question I know,” it read. 

I pushed my hand through my wavy hair. Laughing, I answered

“You’re a great kisser!” 

I think  Rowe took it seriously because he texted back,

“No, I mean, do you like boys? Do you like me?” 

His questions seemed rushed so i asked,

“Why do you ask?” 

I stood up and paced the length of my room. My phone binged and I smiled.

“I mean, the kiss felt right, so normal. I don't know, I think you're a great guy.” 

I decided to take the fair path and tell him - not yet though. I didn’t want to seem rushed, I wanted to take it slow, I asked him to meet me outside school tomorrow. I locked my phone and sighed. Did he like me? Was he as lost as I was? 

His hair seemed more tousled than usual that morning, though his smile was as genuine as it could be. 

“Hi,” he said, clapping his hands together nervously. 

“Hi.” I said, smiling.

“You wanna go somewhere else.” I asked him and looked around at the group of students amassing at the school gate. 

“Yeah,” he said, “I would”. 

I smiled and grabbed his hand, pulling him behind the sport shed,

“Nobody’ll come behind here” I said and he laughed. 

“So, uh, I, uh,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. 

I grabbed his waist and he stopped talking. He leaned into me, knowing exactly what I was doing. He put his warm hands on my cheekbones and he lowered his head to reach mine so our lips joined once again. 

I let go first, slowly, gasping for breath,

“I, uh... yeah, that was sort of what I was going for,” he laughed nervously.

“So you like me?” I asked.

“Yes, yes, yes!” he smiled. “Wait, you like me?” 

“Yes, yes!” I laughed. 

“Well, that was weird.” he laughed, putting his hand down. 

“It would have been, if you didn’t like me.” I laughed and together we rushed out from behind the shed as the bell rang. 

Math was annoying, Rowe was in the same class as me and I couldn't stop looking back at him and giggling quietly. English was easier, we had to do our own essays so we were looking at our computers the whole time. 

He was so cute when he was focused. He looked stern but his purple headphones with fluffy ears on top made him look so sweet and endearing, I couldn't stop myself from laughing. He pulled them down onto his shoulders and looked towards me, his grin looked so natural. 

“Oh, so now you don’t like my bunny headphones!” he pouted.

Shaking my head, I spluttered,

“I never said that.” 

He smiled, pulling the headphones back on and poking his tongue out before turning back to his work. 

After class, Rowe ran up to me in the yard. 

“Hey!” he said, wrapping his hand around mine.

I sighed happily, we had two hours together. 

“Hi,” I smiled, squeezing his hand. 

“Fag!” an older kid yelled at me. 

“Vaffanculo, non hai il diritto di dirlo!” Rowe shouted at him. 

“What?” I asked. That definitely wasn’t English. 

“Oh, uh, Italian. I told him that he had no right saying that.” he said, rubbing his neck and smiling nervously. He looked at me and shrugged.

“Did he understand what you said?'' I asked , pulling him out of the school. 

“Uh, he’s my brother,” he said, blushing at the ground. 

“So, he understood you?” I asked as we jogged to the corner of the street. 

“Well, my family speaks Italian at home, so, I hope so,” he laughed.

“Oh, why didn’t you tell me?” I asked, slowing down to a walking pace. 

“Hunter, we only just met!” he yelled, laughing. 

I woke up, yawning. Last night was so nice. I spent time with Rowe after school. I don't even remember where we went, but I knew he liked it - I knew I liked it. I had to leave him at seven, but after that we texted way past midnight. He told me that he would tell his parents about us, they were an extremely close family. I was so excited for him, but there was still that little tinge of worry that his parents wouldn’t appreciate their son being gay. 

I walked to the kitchen and sighed. I hoped Rowe was okay. I had text him heaps this morning and he hadn’t answered any of them. Of course that could just mean he was asleep, I bet he was so cute when he was asleep. 

I leapt off the bus and walked to the school gate. I saw Rowe and smiled.

I was regretting my idea that he had just been sleeping as I jogged up to him. His hair was bedraggled. He had dark shadows under his bloodshot eyes, 

“Hey, you good?” I asked. 

He shook his head, 

“My parents had a giant fight about me, my Mum thought it was great that I had someone, but my Dad…” he sobbed before he could finish, tears running down his face. 

I knew what he was saying anyway. I tried to comfort him, but  it was difficult. 

I grabbed his hand and dragged him out of school. He stopped crying enough to jog along with me. He inhaled sharply, catching his breath as we sat down at the bus stop. A bus pulled up and I jumped on pulling him with me. He laughed as the bus juddered forward and he grabbed the rail, steadying himself. 

“Hunter, where are we going?” he demanded,

I shook my head and raced him to a building, turning sharply through its front door. He followed, laughing.

“A library?” he asked.

I shook my head, I rushed to a staircase in the far corner and started climbing. 

“C'mon,” I said, smiling. 

I led him to an old attic. 

“An attic?” he asked, he looked amused. 

I opened the attic door, light flooded in and I turned to him while climbing onto the roof. He looked at me, worried. I winked,

“C’mon” I repeated, smiling. 

He climbed up onto the roof and sat down next to me. 

“I’m sure this is illegal!” he laughed, staring out at the landscape. 

I laughed, “who won?” 

Rowe stared at me, confused by my question,

“Who won the fight? Mum or Dad?” I laughed,

His face changed instantly and he chuckled,

“Mum” he said, “always Mum.” he laughed.

He sighed, 

“I’m going to have to go home soon, aren't I?” he murmured. 

I sighed too, the sun was already setting. I couldn’t believe we had been up here all day. 

“I’m going to have to face my parents, they’ll be so annoyed that I skipped school…” he whispered into my shoulder. 

I sighed, 

“Then just stay here, stay here with me.” 

“I’m not going anywhere.” he reassured me. 

I sighed, fulfilled.

We were here.

We were together. 

That's all that mattered.