Like You

Human beings aren't built to be alone, but I'm an android. The circumstances of human existence rarely apply to me, but I must learn how to be like them, that's why I was made. My designer once said "loneliness causes a great deal of distress to a person and that's why people shouldn't be alone".

I don't understand why human beings can't be alone. It's an easy enough thing to do. But as I navigate my way through the human experience, I realize they have themselves to blame for being alone. They constantly fight with one another over myriad of issues and they never seem to find common ground on problems that have very simple solutions. But at the same time, they are looking to be loved by as many people as possible. The human existence is a lot of times a contradiction.

My designation is a companion android. I was built to be a partner. I can satisfy basic human compulsions. "A sex robot" that's what most humans consider androids of my design. Yes, in many respects androids of my type are primarily used as a tool for sexual gratification. I don't have a fully realized opinion about this sentiment, but I know I will eventually. When I first realized consciousness, I was told by my designer that I am to be a replacement for a man's dying husband. The man's name is Martin. Martin is 35 years old and works as a freelance software engineer. He purchased me for his husband Bryan, so I could replace him when he dies. Martin has stage 3 pancreatic cancer and estimates say he will only live for about three to five years. I was instructed by my designer to learn how to be like Martin, but not too much like Martin, just enough of Martin for Bryan to feel at ease.

I was delivered at Martin and Bryan's home outside the city at 5:00 p.m. on a Tuesday. I remember it being a warm day. Martin answered the door and was clearly nervous. I did not understand why at that moment. Shortly after my delivery, Bryan came down from their bedroom and was irritated upon seeing me. Later that evening Martin asked me several questions about my capabilities and limitations. I told him that my software is designed to evolve based on the human interactions I have and that I will able to construct an individual identity from the amalgamation of my experiences. Martin was very intrigued by my constructions. After answering a series of questions, Martin asked me what my name was. I told him that I was not given one yet, afterwards he named me Chris. I liked my name.

Several months have passed and I eventually got the hang of things around the house, even Bryan started to lighten up a bit. My daily routine consisted of reading several books that Bryan I insist on reading, grocery shopping with Martin, cleaning around the house, and watching cartoons in the evening with both of them. I was really happy with my set-up. On Friday 2:32 p.m., I answered a call and it was from Martin's doctor. I immediately gave it to Martin; I knew that if Bryan picked-up the phone he'd freak out and overreact. Martin told me it wasn't anything serious, just the usual doctor check-in. I knew Martin was keeping a strong front and I wanted him to know that it was okay to be mad or sad about it, but I also knew that he just wanted for things around the house the same. I've never seen Martin cry before, he's quite handsome, so I think it'd be interesting to see what a good-looking guy would look like crying.

I've been with Martin and Bryan for almost three years now. We've all been accustomed to each other now. Bryan likes to take me around the city on the weekdays. We usually go to the museums around the city to discuss and admire the various art they have. His favorite painting is The Lovers by René Magritte, he even has a replica of it in our home. Martin likes to go to dive bars and make friends with all sorts of people. He's always so friendly to everyone. I never had to worry about him getting into a fight or anything. He was just that type of guy. Our routine is that he'd get drunk and then I'd take him home. Bryan never cared for those types of places. He'd always tell me to take Martin home at a certain time and I always did. He'd always have Martin sleep on the couch, because he always reeked of alcohol, but Martin would always make his way into their room somehow, even with Bryan's protest.

Martin's condition had drastically worsened in just a year. I honestly thought he was getting better. He was taking his meds, exercising, eating healthy, and then suddenly he can't even get out of bed. This isn't right. I wish I could help him. Martin had to quit work since he could barely get out of bed. I could tell Martin was very upset that. He was a brilliant software engineer. He helped design this program that let blind people feel color. He was very proud of that project. As each day went by, Bryan was relying on me more and more. Of course, I'd help more. I wanted to do as much as I could to help. I didn't want Bryan to be sad. One night, Bryan was drinking alone. Martin was asleep and Bryan asked me to keep him company. We talked the for hours that night. Most of our conversations were about how he and Martin met. It was your typical college romance: they meet freshman year, break-up, get back together at their sophomore year and decide to move-in after college. Bryan said I sort of remind him of Martin sometimes. I know that Bryan is well-aware that my core function was to generate a persona akin to Martin's, but it was still nice to know that in some small way I was making him a little happy.

Eight months later, Martin passed away. It was reassuring to me that they both got to say goodbye to each other. I had to take care of everything around the house. Bryan was just indisposed for the longest time. I wanted to make him feel better, but I knew that he just needed time. Eventually, Bryan started being his old self again. He was making jokes and complaining about how classical art is dying and that artist are too boring these days. One night he asked me what would happen when he died and what would happen to me. I told him I'd probably shut down and destroy my core structures, I was basically going to kill myself. Bryan slapped me across the face and then started berating me for my answer. I told him it's what androids like me do that without their primary partner there isn't any reason for us to function. Bryan was then told me that I needed to start a life. A completely new life that was separate from my current. He wanted me to explore as much of the world as I could. To meet people and make new families, to love. I agreed to his request and Bryan then said "Martin would've love seeing what you'd be".