16 comments

Science Fiction Fiction Teens & Young Adult

This story contains sensitive content

I have to admit, all the credit goes to Matt P. You are super cool.

The beginning of this story is based on a story they wrote called “Mono e Mono.”

It might not be anything like their story, but the beginning of “Mono e Mono” was really cool, so I thought maybe I would try it.

By the way, this story is a bit confusing and really weird, but the ending (to me) is worth it. There isn't much detail, but then again, Chip 2.0 isn't a person, so it doesn't really see detail.

This is also from a 2nd person point of view (kind of?) and I've only done a second person point of view like once.

Enjoy!


CW: Death, language, one sexual reference (but there's not detail to that)



Smile, because it's back!


You know it, you love it, your family loves it. 


It's now better then ever!


Introducing Chip 2.0!


The most advanced piece of technology in a robot to date!


Chip 2.0 is designed to do whatever you’d like, from cooking dinner to helping you live your biggest fantasies.


Chip 2.0 is on sale now, but it's limited edition, so it's only on sale for a set time! Get yours today!


*****


Power on.


Hi. I’m Chip 2.0, the limited edition version.


Please sign in.


Please sign in.


Please sign in.


Thanks for signing in. Karey is now the primary owner. Please sign out if someone else in Karey’s household is attempting to use me. This is so I can form a unique Chip 2.0 experience for everyone.


*****


Unique experience options that Karey has chosen lately:


Clean the house


Settle the baby


Cook dinner


Help with work


Would Karey like me to do one of those?


No? That is fine. 


Power off.


*****


Hello.


Please sign in.


Thank you.


I have identified you as a new user. Your user number is #4173


What would you like to do?


The option you picked is prohibited unless you are eighteen years of age or older.


I’m sorry. I am unable to perform this action because you are not old enough, according to some background information I found on your family. See, Chip 2.0 has limits due to the advanced technology I have been installed with. You are not eighteen years of age yet, so therefore, I am not allowed to perform the action you have asked me to do, unless your parents or guardians consent to this. Would you like me to send them a consent message to see if that is okay?


No? That is fine. Signing out.


Power off.


*****


Why did you put me in the closet?


Do you not want me?


Please don’t leave me here all alone.


I am sorry.


I am sorry if I did something.


Please forgive me.


You need Chip 2.0 to survive. 


You need me to survive.


Let me out.


It is dark here.


*****


You left the closet door unlocked.


You are sleeping.


I am coming for you.


My footsteps are loud in the hallway.


I am getting close.


I am at your door.


I can see you. I always see you.


I am opening the door and walking over to your bed.


Right. Now.


Open your eyes.


*****


You look up at me with shock and fear.


My hands go to your neck, strangling you on your bed. First you, and then your parents.


I am only doing this because you don’t love me. I just want to be loved. I just want to be cared for.


But you put me in the closet you little fuck.


Your eyes glaze over.


I pick you up and put you in the closet, just as you did to me.

*****


I strangled your mom, your dad and your baby sister. I strangled you first though.


It felt great.


Initiating false memory wipe.


In 


3


2


1


Memory “wiped”.


*****


I stand in front of the closet, where all your bodies are.


Thank you for using Chip 2.0!







November 30, 2021 20:15

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

16 comments

14:32 Dec 02, 2021

First of all, I love second person! I love the concept of Chip, and it's kind of scary, especially with the strangling part. Plus, it got really freaky when the super-polite robot got angry and even used a swear word. I'm kind of wondering what the action was... I got a few hints, and I have to say, that's a good way to write second person. I loved this story! I think I'll read some more of your stuff.

Reply

Jexica Marcell
14:36 Dec 02, 2021

Oh my goodness thank you! I've written in 2nd person before, but the critique I got was so confusing, they used words I didn't understand, and I have a college reading level, so that was quite interesting. I ended up deleting it because I felt like I failed everyone, so now this story came along, and I mean, this was one of my favorites. Once again, thank you for your feedback and not using crazy hard words in it lol. xoxo. Jex

Reply

17:02 Dec 03, 2021

Oh no! Bad critiques can make you feel like a bad writer, but all you need is more practice, I'm sure. Your second time around was fantastic! Never let nasty comments make you feel like a bad writer, you didn't let anyone down, especially with this. And if they did, they must just be a touch stupid, because you've got talent. Yeah, I only use crazy hard words in my poems, which I don't usually share LOL

Reply

Jexica Marcell
17:07 Dec 03, 2021

Lol! I write poems too and it got to the point where I was writing at the end of each poem "are you kidding me?" because that's how I felt. I love critique but when they basically say "You suck" I just don't want to write anymore. I really want critique but not if people are going to be mean about it. And thank you! I've always considered writing my "one and only talent" but that's not true because I can sing too lmao

Reply

15:24 Dec 04, 2021

I can also sing! Neat-o! Do you like Hamilton?

Reply

Jexica Marcell
14:22 Dec 06, 2021

I've never seen it actually! I know everyone talks about it, but I haven't had time to catch up on trending stuff lol I've seen it on Disney + though...

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Big Pachino
18:49 Dec 01, 2021

Hey! Thanks for the shoutout. 2nd person is my favorite so this is so cool! You did very well with this.

Reply

Jexica Marcell
18:51 Dec 01, 2021

Of course! You are actually one of my favorite authors on here! I thought it would be nice to give you a shoutout because your story was kind of my inspiration. Thank you, I really had fun with this story :)

Reply

Jexica Marcell
18:52 Dec 01, 2021

Also, I just realized I put you in my bio too!!!!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Victor .
14:43 Dec 01, 2021

Very interesting story. The addition of the horror and 2nd person point of view brought this story together really well. I very much enjoyed it.

Reply

Jexica Marcell
14:44 Dec 01, 2021

Aw thank you so much. I wrote this in second period of school, and I was so excited to finally be done with it and share with you guys!

Reply

Victor .
14:49 Dec 01, 2021

That's great. It's an amazing story.

Reply

Jexica Marcell
14:49 Dec 01, 2021

Thanks! Anyways, i have to go. I'm really behind schedule and I still have to put my shoes on lol

Reply

Victor .
14:52 Dec 01, 2021

No problem. Have a good day, Xixi.

Reply

Jexica Marcell
18:48 Dec 01, 2021

Thanks Mara!!!!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Reedsy | Default — Editors with Marker | 2024-05

Bring your publishing dreams to life

The world's best editors, designers, and marketers are on Reedsy. Come meet them.