Break Those Chains

Cut those chains as hurtful as it may be. Killing yourself as the day passes not wanting to talk to anybody. Sorry for what you been through, sorry for the struggle. I get that you don't wanna acknowledge it. Isolating yourself in a bubble.

Sorry for not helping you although there is nothing that I can do. Just making the situation worse with any word that comes out although I don't attend to.

"Just save it man don't mention it. I've gone through enough yet you're piling shit."

I'm just trying to help.

"Help? You helping me? Since when have you been through a break up you've never been with anybody? Just keep shit to yourself there is nothing needed to be said you don't get my pain. Acting like you do cuz you write some stories but in person shit ain't the same!"

Sorry man but I'm just trying to help.

"Instead of writing about others, start writing about yourself."

Hey I've done nothing wrong to you why take it all out on me? Did I cause you guys to split no alrighty then chill we family.

"Chill? I can't fucking chill like I said you don’t get shit step in my fucking shoes. Being in love for nearly 6 years a close bond not many can relate to. To then evaporate into thin air while scratching the memories out of me. Leaving me with scars and pain that only the asshole who's destroyed who I am can see.

Sharing moments all around town things I witness on a daily basis. Just watching sadness dance around me acting like I should seek forgiveness. Yet I don't deserve what happened, a break up cheaters usually look forward to. Not speaking to a partner you've lend yourself hanging all of who you are hoping they will crawl back like “I fucked up I should have never done that to you.”

But no she grabbed all of those things I call love squeezing me suffocating my words like I'm a bottle of shampoo. To then walk away effortlessly dragging behind her a beating heart held up by chains and letting it go on a cactus as if I was the fool."

I'm sorry about that.

"Sorry nothing you don't understand!"

At least let me try. Your giving up on yourself acting like you got nothing else seeing the suicidal look in your eyes. All she ever wanted from you is your happiness. So you got to think twice and move past this shit.

"Happiness my ass which is why she broke up with me. It's easier said than done so she cut the tides and had a breath of relief."

Why was that?

"I don’t fuckin know she she tends to complain about any little shit. Going on and off with our relationship like some kid playing with a switch."

Who's at fault? Did you do something? Did you cheat?

"I don't do any of that shit you know me. She doesn't know what she wants half the time, that's the thing. Having her raged up like a used match attempting to get lit in winter. Having the spark throw us apart as if love ain't there. Expanding our words of hate regardless if it meant something. Although it doesn't half the time a pause takes place waiting for that “sorry about before let's start shit over again"

Dude you got to forget about this.

"How? How am I supposed to forget the one I love, who also turns out to be my only friend. I get that you are trying to help, I really do but you're changing nothing. I'm doing what I can to get her back."

Bro you can't she's gone you have to accept that. She's made her choice and she moved on. You got to do the same, I get that it hurts.

"The true pain honestly for me is that she didn't fulfill her actions vowed down by her words. Fucking around playing with my heart like it's some sort of poker game. Like once she gets what she wants poof gone like she is satisfied regardless of what took place."

But dude you can't pick up those broken pieces and tape them together it doesn't work like that. Sure you may get her back but the feeling is lost in the abyss along with the past.

"She fucked me up making me feel like I was complete. As if I was a crook with a slate wiped clean. Like a detective finding a killer's name on the scene. Joy so great as if I'm rich the moment I redeem. Seeing her face after things clear up making love official and the cycle repeats. A feeling you get used to as it becomes a routine. Arms wide open like I love you this much. To then figure out it's the devil taunting you like ha you'll never find true love."

Sorry it happened the way that it did my bad I can't relate. Sorry for not writing about myself yet coming up with these poems I create. Dude as much as I say sorry you have to be strong don't give up I can see the tears in your eyes. Crying for hours like you can't get her off your mind. But don't quit your uplifting to others encouraging them to live life since they got one. To live on the edge if necessary cuz once time’s up you'll regret things you've never done. Yet look at you now not caring if you lose anything else. Suicide doesn't heal your pain it just passes it onto someone else. Think about it.

"Think about what? That I wasted a quarter of my life for nothing. All of those moments gone like magic because of some stupid shit that lead her to say we done lets break up again. Fuck it! fuck it all what is there to go for? Why is life so hard to live If your chasing shit just to filter your life with some color? To in the end only destroy you without you even knowing until it's too late never again seeing life like the McDonald's motto. I still love this chick yet I can't turn around and shape it together, a rule too hard to follow."

Dude let me help.

"Get away man I'm done."

Chase what you want but your going in circles like a dog trying to bite its tail for fun.

"Screw you I'm headed out don't bother me."

But listen man you need the help. Go get therapy.

"I'll figure it all out, don't worry, all I need is time it'll come around."

Time lost is time you can't regain leaving you drunk hopeless laying on the ground. Bro I'm here for you.

"Yeah I get it, we're done now."

After months of silence my boy was never found. No answer no text no call no clue. I'm wondering where he's at. I'm just hoping he'll pull through. I know him all too well but It's been so long. Dam a mystery unsolved but where could he have gone.