Cobalt vs Cobat: why you shouldn't mess with the Blizzard King

Cobalt, also known as the Blizzard King, has made a lot of people mad in the past. He has also made a lot of enemies. From Chad, the guy who tried to defeat him with a stale baguette, to Goku, the same one from the DragonBall series. But none compare to the fake version of him, Cobat. 

Cobat had the desire to beat the Blizzard King in a one versus one, but had a lack of intelligence to do so. He had tried to copy Cobalt’s blue, grey and black armour, had plastic versions of Cobalt’s pitch black, heat absorbing katanas and had a snowball launcher instead of Cobalt’s notorious blizzard and ice manipulation powers. 

But even that didn’t compare to the real deal. So Cobat did what any super idiot with a super powerful rival (well, Cobalt considers Cobat a nuisance, not a rival) would do. He bought a 10 ton war mech with a power stealing cannon. Now armed with a 10 ton war machine, Cobat intends to find Cobalt and defeat him.

At exactly 08:00 A.M. Cobalt woke up, had his cereal (because cereal is the best food ever created) and played on his laptop. He was excited because after waiting for over five months, his favorite game - Hamsta Flier, the game where you fly a modified F-35 lightning fighter jet within a massive world, different skins for your jet and much more - had updated. There was an entirely new area to the lobby, where a mysterious portal awaited. 

Upon entering this portal, Cobalt was greeted with a new screen, featuring the words ”Welcome to Floop-World!” displayed on the screen. As Cobalt finished catching up on the lore and the alliances, he ultimately chose The Floopster (the proud kingdom of cats who focused on aviation technology) Alliance over the Bark-Barian Alliance (the canine tribe obsessed with ground and anti-air weapons). 

But just as Cobalt was about to start his first quest, a massive foot came crashing down, breaking the roof. Above stood Cobat, in his mech, a confident grin spread across his face.

“Dude, how many times have I told you this? Stop challenging me! You’ll just humiliate yourself” said Cobalt, looking unsurprised. 

“Silence Cobalt! I have come stronger than before!”shouted Cobat from his mech’s speakers.

But just as Cobat was about to make the worst decision of his idiotic life, two individual yawns came from the other rooms of Cobalt’s house. Out came Jet Stream - the eleven year old who can ignite gasses with a thought - and Crimson - Cobalt’s twin brother who can turn into a massive dragon and use a massive axe. And both of them looked tired, more tired than Cobalt after he had to pay another overpriced bill for his (not exactly tiny) pet serpents, Icy Boi and Tiamat.

“Bro, who’s the badly built lego mech?”, asked Jet Stream, looking tired.

“Yeah, who decided he was a big bad. Not even a Gundam is this bad-looking” yawned Crimson as he stretched his arms. 

As Cobat’s mech swung its great metal arm right at cobalt, aiming to end this battle in a single strike, but before the iron fist made contact, Cobalt suddenly had both of his katanas in his hands, blocking the metal fist entirely. Cobalt then used his powers to send the mech flying through several buildings, causing the mech to lose balance and causing a couple hundred people to evacuate. If Cobalt started a fight, it was NOT going to end well. 

As Cobat’s mech flew back up out of the pile of rubble it was in, Jet stream flew in close (yes, he can do that) and gave the mech a dropkick straight to the face. Cobat was sent tumbling and rolling inside the cockpit of the mech and the second he got his mech’s systems straight, he was greeted with an axe to the face by Crimson, who was towering over his mech. 

The mech’s energy sword flared to life as Crimson’s axe was centimeters from the cockpit, and whilst this maneuver brought Cobat some time to think (not like he can) but in turn, pinned him and his mech down to the ground. As the mech pushed crimson off, it was greeted with a not-so-welcome blast of ice to the face. Cobalt. The mech’s plasma cannons whirred to life, blazing the battlefield with plasma. 

But even still, Cobalt’s heat-absorbing katanas made sure that not a single scratch was left on Cobalt. Cobat’s power stealing cannon charged, nearing full power, but before Cobat could fire, a ring of fire tore the crude device to shreds. Jet Stream was zipping around the mech, firing rings of pure flame and sound, causing anything in their path to be ripped apart in seconds. With his ultimate weapon gone, Cobat tried to flee. 

Too bad Crimson’s dragon form was blocking the way. 

With a mighty roar, Crimson unleashed a torrent of fire, causing the mech’s outer shell to melt and deform. Seizing the chance, Cobalt brought a blizzard down on the mech, rapidly freezing the molten slang that covered the hunk of mechanical metal. 

“Alright, I give up! Just…get me out of here?” yelled Cobat from his immobilised piece of metal.

“Fine, but don’t ruin any more of my gaming mornings.”, said Cobalt as he drew a katana and planted it into the flat surface of the mech. 

After five whole minutes of trying to get an ice-cold katana through a flat piece of frozen metal, Cobat silently climbed out of his ruined mech, looking humiliated.

Cobat went back to his job as a cashier at a McDonalds and Cobalt got back to playing Hamsta flier. The update was actually good. There were no camera bugs when you went MACH 16, there was open world exploration, bosses (there weren’t any bosses before the update) and there was a secret boss that was supposed to happen at the end of the game.

Jet Stream never told Cobalt he was the dev. 

THE END.