About tasty and healthy food.

The amber liquid splashed invitingly in my glass and caused me bouts of nausea and nostalgia at the same time. I winced. Bourbon. I remembered what bourbon used to be like! In my castle, it was stored in oak barrels. That a taste, and that an aroma! And now? Why do people call this horrible-tasting liquid - bourbon? And how do people drink it? It's utterly disgusting. But it's still better than the blood of that anorexic girl I tasted last night. I squeezed my glass in rage and it burst, covering the bar counter with shards and spilling all the liquid. The frightened bartender, bowing obsequiously, immediately cleaned up the mess and a new glass of bourbon instantly appeared next to me.

I lazily looked around, knowing full well that I would not see anything new. This place was very popular with people. After dark, shady characters who led a dishonest lifestyle would gather here. Ugh, how disgusting these shady characters are. After I drank the blood of one drug addict man, I felt sick for two weeks. I was so sick like a mere mortal that, ashamed of myself, I took an activated charcoal. Twenty pills. Just in case.

In general, my eternity is becoming unbearable. I am already 600 years old and this is what I noticed over a long period of my life. People were getting worse with each passing year and I am not talking about their oral and aesthetic tastes. Their bodies were so bad that they were no longer fit for me to eat. Synthetics, GMOs, drugs and medicines, incomprehensible vaccines, everything that stupid people stuffed into themselves made their blood completely inedible for me. At all! And Botox, implants, hyaluronic acid, and other beauty tools? I shuddered when I remembered that seemingly decent housewife. After I tasted her blood, I almost died, and for a month I felt the taste of silicone in my mouth. Ugh…

Since then, I have become very picky about food. And then yesterday, that girl. Skinny, with thin arms and legs. But, I decided, it would be for dessert. No way. Water! That's what I found in her veins, red water with a celery flavor. I sneezed and started scratching again. It turned out that I was allergic to celery too. Lately, I have discovered a lot of allergies to things people eat. Almost every day my body itched or swelled, or some other metamorphosis occurred. Once my body swelled so much that I thought I was turning into a mutant vampire. But after a week it was all gone.

And now I was looking around the bar, carefully peering into the faces and bodies of those sitting at the tables and dancing on the dance floor. I was choosing a late dinner for myself.

I was so carried away by choosing “dishes” from this meager “menu” that I didn’t notice how someone unexpectedly sat down next to me. I turned around in amazement and saw a girl on the next chair. It was strange, very strange. Usually, people intuitively tried to keep their distance from me and no one ever sat down next to me at the bar.

The girl looked at me with a little fear and with great interest at the same time.

Fear is anticipated - that’s how it should be, but seeing interest in her eyes was very unexpected. Strange. She behaved even stranger later. The girl took my glass and drank my bourbon in one gulp. My 50-year-old bourbon. And she didn’t even cough or wince. Hmm… Very strange! And this is alarming.

“Take me home,” said the girl.

“Excuse me? What did you say?” - my eyes widened.

I decided that I had misheard. But the girl continued.

“Take me home, please. I'm here by accident. I got the wrong address. And you're the only one who looks normal here” - she waved her hand at the bar visitors.

I grinned, looking at her face. Well, so what? Perhaps, my late dinner is in front of me. She didn't look like a drug addict, more like a healthy person. The girl clearly has problems with excess weight. And that's good! More weight, more blood for me.

“Well, what then? Okay. Why not take the nice young lady home? Let's go.” - was my answer.

I slowly stood up, but the girl unceremoniously grabbed my arm and quickly dragged me to the exit. I could barely move my legs. She was in such a hurry as if we were late for something.

The night was moonless and there were no streetlights, everything was going perfectly for me.

“Now we’ll turn around the corner and I’ll have a delicious dinner,” I thought, dragging my victim towards the turn.

And suddenly I felt a blow. Then water splashed in my face and I immediately realized that it was a holy water. I choked for a moment and then an aspen stake entered my chest. But it didn’t go deep, so I just couldn’t move, it was as if I was paralyzed.

Already losing consciousness, I saw how people began to surround me. There were only girls, with identical round faces, their eyes bloodthirsty, with fanatical fire. I noticed knives, axes, and other piercing and cutting objects in their hands.

“Sarah, are you sure this is a vampire?” - asked one of the girls with a gloomy and somewhat dissatisfied face.

“Of course, I'm sure, Amy. This bastard drank the blood of our Nika yesterday. I've been watching him for a week now. I've seen what kind of victims he chooses for himself. Most often, these are people leading a healthy lifestyle. Which means he's clean and doesn't eat harmful food. And he only drinks the blood of healthy people. I think such a diet is only good for him. And for us too.” - answered the one who was called Sarah.

I turned my head with difficulty and felt my new acquaintance greedily feeling my body.

“He is not skinny. There's enough for everyone. Because I can barely drag my feet from this grass, I don't have the strength for fitness. We need to decide how we're going to cook him. Steam him? Or deep-fry him? Finally, we found normal and not harmful food.”

“Food?” - This word was the last thing I caught in my rapidly fading consciousness.