I do not remember my face.

I do not remember my face. A long time ago since I awaken under a wrecked truck, in my work, at a mine. All has changed suddenly, no friends alive, looking for my family. I was meandering in what was my town because I did not find my family. I Hope they passed away with no pain.

But I do not remember my name and how my face is.

To be starving is a good hunting teacher. I have learned how to knot, set up tramps, and light up fires. The good of all this is that I am eating healthy food, cook with no sauces that cause heart failure. No sugar, no bread. So, I am fit and gaining muscle mass, and I can see my body change. I wish I could have that in my twenties. I found the secret to being healthy and young when you are turning into an older man. But now, nobody cares because I am alone.

Where to go? I do not know, but I want to be alive and figure out what happened to everybody.

It was a lovely afternoon in the weekend; I was working out at the gym, lifting dumbells performing a hammer movement to train my biceps. All the gym around has mirrors to let you see in all directions and correct your exercise performance. But even that I spent a lot of time working out in several gyms with mirrors, I do not remember my face.

I have never liked to see my face in the mirror, and I'm not too fond of self-portraits or to be in any picture.

In a lunch with my daughter, I used to take pictures to her, to have it for my memories. It is supposed that she resembles me, but I have no image printed in my pocket.

I was talking with some colleagues about our work. One of them requested a picture and quickly told them that I would take it. I did that to avoid being in that picture.

I was afraid of images; nobody will know how I was. It will be a mystery for everybody, but now it is a mystery for me.

I do not remember my face. I have no mirrors to look at me. I tried to see my face in the water of a lake or a puddle but is not clear.

When I am Running out of meat, my most valuable thing is my knife. In this situation, you can understand prehistoric people, how they figure out to survive, to get food, and most important of all, to build tools. But my knife does not work as a mirror.

Since all this started, sixty months have gone by, surviving is something hard to learn, but not impossible. The most important thing is to avoid injuries because there are no doctors and no medicines. I take care of all my body, especially my eyes and teeth. It is like a castaway but in an isolated world. Lucky lucky me, almost all my teeth are artificial, made of ceramic, and one way to take care of my body is not to eat a lot, just one daily meal and a lot of water. And to have some days with no food is ok; my body feels clean, and I sleep better with an empty stomach.

If I have learned all these healthy tricks in the past, I would have been healthier and agile.

But, it could be possible to write my experiences, what I am learning, maybe someone in the future will find it helpful, of course, it will not be an ancient Dead Sea Scrolls but will be nice to leave a legacy to posterity.

Maybe, I will pass away and never see my face again. Where could I find a mirror? All the world that I can see is obliterated, especially buildings and cars.

Let's go to another place, let's move. I need to be a nomad and saunter to survive. Maybe I will find another human being alive because the only living beings that I find are wild animals that I hunt for eating, animals like rats, tiny monkeys, snakes, birds, deers, and predators.

My beard is long; I can feel it with my hands. I cut my hair and nails with my knife, but my beard not because it works as a filter, keep my mouth with no dust and germs. How is my face with a beard? I never let it grow so long. 

When you are alone, you miss some things, but to survive is to change your mind quickly, as fast as you can, accept and adapt to the new situation that you will face forever until you die. But I would like to see my face before I die.

I am strolling, humming a song that I cannot remember very well. I barely remember the songs that I love; I only listen to birds singing. 

Rainy day, sunny day, cold day, hot day. I get used to those in the open. Once I saw the light coming towards my fire camp, I get scared and happy at the same time; I was not ready for that moment. I hid and waited with a knife in my hand, just in case of violence. A person came towards me, but it did not stop, keep walking as he was looking for something. Was it a phantom? It seems natural, but that light was inside a kerosene lamp with shiny brass metal that could work as a mirror. Finally, I could see my face.

I followed the ghost and tried to steal the lamp. I tiptoed, grab the kerosene lamp and run. Run for 30 minutes, and when no specter followed me, I tried to see my face mirrored in the metal, but nothing.

I realize that I do not have a look, do not have a body, do not have feet, I am dead and did not know.

I was living in a parallel world full of spirits. Everything, plants, trees, animals, all were phantoms; it was the purgatory, and when my mind awoke to my new reality, I was sad, I never will see my face, but I am a being of light.