“Hey Casey, how's it going? How’s life with the lovely baby?"
You really just had to call now? I just put her down for a nap... I meant for me to nap; she's been sleeping great throughout the day. Me, however, I don't even remember what sleep is.
"Is mom around? Maybe she could help you with her."
You just missed her. She's heading to the store right now to pick up some more diapers for Alice.
"Wow! She's been going through those really quickly, I mean even for a little one."
Yeah, apparently she's allergic to green beans so that's been an interesting time.
"Green beans? Really? I thought you were always good with green beans. Well, maybe she got it from her father."
Yeah, maybe.
"Oh, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to bring him up so soon."
It's fine. I just... haven't really gotten the chance to think about that with how busy Alice has been keeping me.
"Well, then I am very glad you have Alice with you. You must be really happy to have her still."
Every time I look at her I see her father and trust me, that's a welcome sight.
"So tell me more about her. I am her aunt after all. I really hope when all this is over I get to come and meet her."
Trust me, she really wants to meet you too! I swear, every time I take out pictures of the two of us when we were younger, she automatically goes straight for you in the picture and starts poking your face...it's the cutest thing.
"Aww! That's adorable! So tell me can she read yet, talk, walk, sing like you, or is she still just like a potato...but a very cute potato?"
Oh, she is the cutest potato and I love it!
"You need to send me pictures sometime! I only ever got to see her when she was born and we all know that babies don't look that cute when they're just born."
Haha, I will! You'll absolutely love the ones that I've taken of her. Mom just keeps a camera on her at all times because she knows Alice is going to do something adorable every second of the day.
"Speaking of mom with a camera, how's her photography business going?"
She's doing really well! She's been taking pictures of the sunset nearby, the parks in the morning, and pretty much anywhere she can take a picture where there's not a crowd.
"Oh, I'm glad she's doing well! The last time that I talked to her, things seemed a little bit off. Mind you, the last time that I talked to her was a year ago."
She's been meaning to call, but life got really hectic after everything happened here.
"Oh I completely understand. I'm really glad she was there for you through it all. She's one tough mother... how have you been coping with that?"
She's actually cooled down a lot over the years. I think she might actually be… empathetic. After all, she is a widow as well.
“You know, it's been a year since I last talked to you. But you really haven't changed a bit. I'm glad you haven't.”
Did you expect me to change much?
“Well… yeah. Everything that happened was really traumatizing for you back then. You never let it show... I always figured that was because I was around.”
Well of course I'd want to have a brave face in front of my sister. Even though it was hard back then, I still wanted to be there for you. The whole situation was a lot on you too, remember?
“Hey, can I tell you something?”
Anything. You know I'm here for you.
“I always knew you were lying. No matter what I asked you would lie straight to my face. I let you think for a while that I didn't know anything about it. I did. And it hurt to hear you lie. And it was for the best so... Thank you. Thank you for lying to me.”
Why would you thank me for something like that? It's a little bit strange don't you think? I mean, I did it for your own good. I never thought you'd look into anything. All that time passed and you still remember when I lied to you?
“Oh no... I think you have me mistaken. I'm not talking about back then.”
I'm sorry, I don't really follow what you're talking about.
“I'm talking about right now. You're lying straight to my face right now... well... over the phone.”
Are you accusing me of lying to you?
“It's not an accusation unless someone else has to know about it.”
Was that a threat? You were never good at making up threats or excuses... you do realize that, right?
“Yeah, you're right... no, I was never good at it. But obviously, you could tell it was a threat...actually, a promise.”
You're starting to scare me, Amanda.
“Why would you be scared... Wouldn't that be me? Shouldn't I be scared right now? Shouldn't you be answering my questions? Shouldn’t you have done a fact check for everything you’ve said?
I-
“I knew it. I need you to tell me who you are. Just because I haven't talked to my sister in forever doesn't mean I don't know her voice now. Your voice is not hers. She... she is not you. So tell me who you are and tell me why you're with Alice because I can clearly hear her in the background.”
I was doing this for your own safety.
“Like I'd believe that. Don't try and pull that excuse with me... I'm not going to believe you.”
...What gave it away?
“She’s not a widow. She never was... She’s a divorcee.”
So that's what you meant by ‘Fact check’.
“The pictures on the mantle can't explain everything. So why, when I called, did you think it was a good idea to pick up and act like my sister?”
Well, I-
“If you let it ring out, I'd come over? I'd be worried enough to call mother? And when her phone rang out... I'd call the cops?”
You seem to be a step ahead of me. What do you want me to do?
“Just tell me why you're there.”
Only for the money. She's rich, she bought a lot of nice things, and she's tired. Looked like I would make some easy money today.
“Well if it looks so easy, just look out the window.”
I’ll admit, that was smart of you calling the cops and telling them to keep the sirens off. So sadly, I'm going to have to end this call.
“One more thing…”
Like I should listen to you anymore.
“Wait please, just one more thing. Where's my sister?”
…
“Hello? Hello!?”
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3 comments
Hi Katherine, I liked the idea of your story, but I need some clarification on some things so that I can understand the story better. From my understanding after reading the story a few times, Casey, a mother to a newborn named Alice receives a phone call from her sibling Amanda (however, her name isn't given until way later in the story, which I feel is important to give in the beginning so that the reader can already identify with every character speaking). Amanda and Casey have a normal "catch up" conversation any two sisters would have...
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Hi Kristyna, Thank you for reading my story! I absolutely loved your notes! I am accustomed to writing in script formats and this is a scene from one I was working on. Many of the inconsistencies are clarified in the full work. Your inferences are correct and I am glad to see that with a scene like this, you are already asking the right questions to lead you further into the storyline. I apologize if the scene out of context seems confusing but I hope it has piqued your interest for your questions to be answered in the full work when it is...
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You're welcome Katherine ! Ah, I see. I am actually a graduate from Cinema and Television Arts and I'm familiar with screenwriting and writing in strictly dialogue without action descriptions can be challenging. I would love to read the rest of it when it's ready.
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