Adventure Fiction Friendship

I am standing right in front of the audience as they clap their hands cheerfully. All the contestants were already in their designated capsules.

I am the last one to call but they say, save the best for last. My hands were nearly shaking and my sweats were as cold as ice. I gulped as I laid my foot in the freezing capsule that will take me to a room which will be later filled with gases that makes an illusion.

Last year we had battled in the woods, what would it be this time?

I am very eager to win the trophy for my dad. He wants me to get it and prove myself to him and I will.

“Listen very well contenders, you have 12 hours to win the contest and remember to stay alive. You wouldn’t know what danger is waiting for you once you enter that room. Now you may go, goodluck” the host said.

Then, the surface I am standing on opened into half and I found myself sliding. It is very dark and I can’t see anyone except for me, I wonder if the others felt the same.

They were my friends anyway. We decided to compete, Me, Gizelle, Orton, Hailey, Paul and Raze.

As soon as I landed into the place, I kept my feet to the ground and roamed my eyes in here.

I don’t understand, winter? Winter woods?

What kind of theme is this? I thought they prepared for something like underwater or above the sky.

I shrugged my shoulders and looked at my wrist to see my tasks. We all have tasks to do that is embarked to our wrist.

First, find the man that is inside a small house.

What the hell? How am I suppose to find a house in the middle of the woods?!

I released a heavy sigh as I take the right path. No signs of my friends, they must be clueless of what is happening right now.

We always have contests every year that is to tests our abilities in thinking and physical courses.

The one who wins will be a part of the Army of Oxvale. They get to fight in different places and receives a lot of money in just one day. My father and I really needs salary that is why he pushed me towards this path.

My reflexes were fast when a dagger was supposed to hit me but I immediately ducked. I can’t see anyone else except for me but I am sure that the one who wants me out of the contest might do it again so I ran quickly.

I gripped my skirt and ran as fast as I could. I almost got hit by a tree but I managed to avoid it and continued running.

I can hear the opponents feet as it run too. My eyes opened wider as I realized what is in front of me.

It must be the house that the task want me to go for!

I opened the door and banged it as fast as I could. My breathe ragged as my heart pumps very loud.

“Oh my daughter, where have you been?” the man that is sitting in a dining table said.

I was taken aback by what he said.

“I’m not your daughter, sir” I replied.

“Silly, of course you are. Now I must go and I promised to bring you your favorite rose” The man said as he get up and leave me alone.

“Wait!” I said but it was too late. He is already gone with his horse.

I looked at my wrist once again and the first task was already marked done. It’s vanished in my wrist and replaced by another.

It says, wait for 3 hours and you can do anything you want.

My forehead creased as what the tasks said. I don’t get it, why do they made a task like this? It must be a trap or something?

I started finding clues in every corner of this house but nothing. I saw nothing.

It’s getting suspicious. What the heck are they up to?!

I hopelessly waited for three hours.

While I am sitting over here, I can’t help but to think of why I am here.

Is it because I want the award? Or was it because I want to prove something?

When I was young, I always get yelled by my father for being weak. I always get to eat once a day as punishment. He thought of me as nothing but failure.

Tears slowly rolling down to my cheeks as my mind kept reminiscing how awful my childhood was.

I never get to play with the other kids, I need to train instead. I never get to eat ice cream as desert because my father dislikes sweetness.

I am no normal kid, I was raised to win this contest.

I wiped all my tears because for sure, if my dad is seeing this he might say “Showing weakness is weakness itself” I stood up and wandered around.

There are a lot of antique things and weird inventions which I don’t wanna know how it works.

Hours had pass and I got bored not until I heard a horse.

I went out, only to witness the horse of the man.

“What happened?” I asked but of course it won’t respond.

I rode it instead and it took me to the middle of the woods. Still, no sign of my friends.

Where are they?

The horse is still with me until me found a huge house. A castle perhaps.

I never thought that they exert much effort than before. What are they up to?

“This is where I leave you” I whispered to the horse as if it would understand me.

I fixed my skirt and stared at the creepy castle. Everything seems very old and broken.

I walked towards the castle grounds then towards the main door.

I opened it and was amazed by what I saw. I almost forgot that I was in a game, I almost forgot that I was in a survival game.

I went in and opened the lights. Thank God it still works!

The task that is now written on my wrist made my forehead crease.

Fall in love

What the heck?! Fall in love with whom? What kind of task is this?

I observed everything that is in here. Everything is by design, it looks very realistic. I felt like I was in a fairytale, only if my father let me read fairytales instead of action. My childhood was indeed boring.

“Hello?” I asked.

Silence coated my ears as I walk upstairs.

I went inside a room and there it was. I saw someone sitting in a big chair.

“Go away” He solemnly said.

I don’t understand, why?

What happened to him?

“Where is he?” with full of courage---I said.

“In the dungeon” He replied.

I took a deep breathe and went closer.

“My task...Are you the one I need to fell in love with?” I asked as I faced him.

I gasped when I saw his face. A monstrous beast was sitting in front of me!

“Yes but I know you can’t” He replied.

“There are potions in the other part of this castle, seek for the love potion so that you can win this competition” he suggested.

At least he didn’t yelled at me.

“Aren’t you going to be mad at me for trespassing your castle?”

I saw how his emotions shifted. He was hopeless and his eyes were begging.

“How can I be mad at you?” He said and averted his gaze.

“Let him go first” I ordered.

I gulped several times when he stood up and his size was double of mine.

“I already set him free which I am not suppose to” He replied.

I nodded and immediately went out.

What is damn happening?! Why is he like that? What did they do to him?!

This castle that seems to have tons of acres but one room caught my attention and I think I found the potion room.

When I got inside, there it was...placed in the very top part of the shelves.

I used the ladder and climbed to get it and I successfully did.

I gripped it tight and ran straight to him.

But what I saw when I entered the room made my heart pound.

The trophy was beside him and there has one word written in the floor.


I looked up and saw the beast in a pool of blood. Orton was beside him that holds an spear with the beast’s blood.

Gizelle and Hailey was there too. Gizelle was holding a dagger and she might be the one who attempted to shoot me earlier. Hailey has horse’s tail and she might be the horse earlier. Paul is the man I’ve met earlier.

What the actual fvck is going on?!

I looked at my wrist and there it goes 30 seconds.

“The first one to get tp the trophy, wins” Orton said with a lunatic grin on his face.

I was stunned by what he said.

My dream that I worked since my childhood is right in front of me. My hands can almost touch it, I’ve sacrificed a lot for this day to come.

I received a lot of painful words that I didn’t deserved and now, this is the chance to prove myself to everyone who belittles me.

As the seconds turn into zero, we all ran. The difference is they ran towards the trophy while I ran towards Raze.

“R-Raze, wake up please” I whispered. Everyone was shocked because they didn’t expect me to ran towards him.

“H-How’d you k-know?” he almost choke by his own words.

I can see his half opened eyes and the pain all over his face. I can’t control my tears anymore.

I cried and hugged him with both of my arms.

“Since I saw you sitting there” I honestly said.

“W-Why?” he said and gulped.

“I just know” I said and kissed him.

Then all of a sudden, a blinding light came out and we all had vanished and transported to the stage.

The moment I opened my eyes, Raze was still beside me and everyone was cheering.

The medicals are on their way to us.

“I love you-“ he said.

“I know” I cut him off with my hands.

“I love you too, always have been and always will be” I smiled.

He held my cheeks and wiped my tears.

“Wait for me. I’ll get you out of your father’s prison” He said as they take him away.

I never knew that Beauty and the Beast with a twist is as exciting as this

November 02, 2020 03:56

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Tatiana S.
14:25 Nov 11, 2020

Dear Author, I love the fast pacing of the story and the twist. I think this idea works really well for a short story, but I wanted the narration to slow down sometimes. I would agree with prior comments - the punctuation (and sometimes grammar) should be checked again. For example, "My father and I really needs salary that is why he pushed me towards this path" or "I can hear the opponents feet as it run too" or "I never knew that Beauty and the Beast with a twist is as exciting as this" (the last sentence is missing this final dot...


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C. Jay Loren
04:40 Nov 08, 2020

Hey I liked the twist with the story how the whole thing was kind of like a VR game/competition thing. That was good. :) However, as mentioned below, definitely keep an eye on the grammar and keep your tense (times) consistent, so either all past or all present depending on what you are talking about in the sentence.


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Nandan Prasad
06:35 Nov 03, 2020

Hey, I really loved the concept! It's an age-old tale with a refreshing twist. But I did spot some errors here and there, like, "My father and I needs" instead of "My father and I need". Also, the punctuation is a little bit off in a few places, but nothing to worry about. I would advise you to maybe run the story through a quick online grammar check before you submit. But I loved the story, and keep writing!


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