Pellucid Plans.

“My story is scary, horrifying, and sadly true.

So, when I was little my grandfather kept coming after my sister and doing ‘very bad things’ to her that I didn’t understand. I knew she didn’t like it and I had to protect her. I found a pocket knife in the garage of their house — one of those little red swiss army ones.

I pocketed it and decided I would do what’s right.

Next time he came for her, I defiantly pulled out that knife and stood between him and her saying he couldn’t do those things to her anymore. His face filled with hate and venom. He grabbed my wrist, quick as a snake, and squeezed hard until I dropped the knife from the pain.

He told me, ‘You little shit. Honor thy elders! If you ever do anything like that again, I will cut your penis off!’ He put a couple light slashes on my genitals, plus a deeper cut (Still have the scar) to prove his point. I have never been so completely frozen with fear in my entire life as I did at that point. I was completely immobilized.

He then hit me and knocked me down.

I then had to watch as he raped my sister. The look of sadness on her face is something permanently seared into my brain and something I can never forget. I have never seen a sadder expression in my life.

I’ve been watching the live stream feed from Micheal Santo's courtroom all week where his victims get to get up there and read their impact statements. I like to imagine I’m one of them, even if I’m not a girl, and that I get to read an impact statement to my grandfather (Who evaded prosecution). Thats why I am here for a therapy, to dissolve my insanity because I think about her everyday. The pain I saw in her eyes that day still hurts me every moment I shut my eyes to get peace. Most times, my conscience pulls me down and I want to take pills to get rid of myself. She's down with STDs and I blame my goddamn naive little self for being such a jerk and an incapable brother every time.", Jonah said to the therapist with tears in his eyes.

Martha and Jonah were sharing a similar feeling but Jonah was being drowned by his. Her glassy green eyes shone bright with sadness, it was intense and could be contagious at that moment.

"Life serves us with alot of distorted experiences and lifetime pain. Its quite the same with everyone, no one gets the perfect life he or she desires. Most times, the very thing that kills us are the things we deem valuable and precious. Jonah, I understand it hurts a lot, I've got tons of patients walk in here with the same issues and psychological pain and damage but they walk out that door with a tingle of hope that very day and a better life as the therapy continues. I'm not going to help you because its my job, I'm doing this because I feel that pain as much you do".

"Can you help me?", he asked Martha in a deep husky voice.

"Definitely Jonah, Its going to be alright", she said filling him up with every bit of hope she could give out.

**********************************

"Hey, are you going to drive or I can do that for ya?!!!!!", an angry looking fellow who was about the same size with a little elephant yelled. He chunked down a chicken wing as he drove past Martha who was slowly moving along despite the several car horns to keep her going faster.

She suddenly stopped the car and pulled over to a cafe, that earned her lots of unhappy furious complaints from the road users. She wasn't always this way, her job was doing much of the opposite of its original purpose.

Each day, Martha gets to speak with lots of people coming in for different problems, seeking help for lots of issues which they couldn't get rid of. Some of her patients were practically insane or few lines away from that but she always had her deep connection to them. She was the best therapist and most critical cases and patients were sent over to her for a therapy.

She once had this patient who was suffering from cognitive distortion and couldn't make out anything good about the world. He was mentally filtering all the negative things that happens in his life so he could eat them up later. He treated the positive things like fluke and had such a bad attitude. Martha had her way around him and he still sends flowers to the lady who stirred up his life.

But Martha had alot going on in her personal life, issues she couldn't handle despite her job and knowledge in Psychotherapy.

Could she have a session with herself to dissolve the pain of loosing her husband and kids? Could she handle the perfect therapy to get rid of the guilt?

Sometimes, Martha gets filled up with the most life drowning emotions after her session with some patients. She was good with her job, good at what she did but couldn't help herself.

She'd helped over a thousand people get over their past, build up their present and make plans for the future but this very things were Impossible to do in her life.

Martha looked over at the next table and gradually smiled as she watched a couple sharing their romantic moment together.

"Everything happens for a reason", she said to herself. "Loosing Jack and my babies was a reason to keep me going. It draws a connection between the pain every of my patient feels and mine."

She looked around and realized that in every little way, she had helped her city and had saved more life than she lost. A pellucid picture of the task ahead of her played over and over in her head. She wasn't a therapist to drool over her problems but to help people get over theirs. She made a quick decision and as she walked out the cafe door, she knew what she was made for. She was the hope to the hopeless, joy to the depressed, smile to the saddened heart, change to the sobbing personality and blessing to all mankind.