Conquer Him With Love

What is most shocking, perhaps, is the silence of the room. Four grown men and a baby all occupy the same space, and yet none of them make a noise, at least for the moment. The baby does a little baby stretch in its sleep. One man–the one who has wings that glow faintly in the dim light of the room–cracks a small smile. 

“I cannot understand what you want us to do with it,” says another. His language is stiff and his body stiffer, although that could be discomfort from his well-pressed and extremely angular suit. He stands up a little straighter and tears his eyes away from the babe to look up at the man with wings. “We neither of us are equipped to parent it.”

“Okay, it’s a little girl,” says the third. He adjusts the belt on his waist, which is heavy with various weapons; a gun, a knife dipped in silver, two wooden stakes, and a taser are all visible, and the others are certain more are hidden up his sleeves or in his boots. “You don’t have to pretend like you don’t know that.”

“I am not pretending,” replies the suited man irritably. “I know not the first thing about children–”

“You’re telling me you haven’t picked up a damn thing in three hundred years or whatever?” the fourth man pipes up from his seat by the window.

“I am only two hundred and thirty-six,” says the suited man, rounding on the one in the window, “and it seems to me that you would be more likely to have the required skills to care for a child, given that you were raised in a pack–”

“Sure was, but you don’t think I actually spent any time around those brats, do you?”

“Thaddeus, Zachary, enough!” snaps the first man, his wings flapping once in annoyance. 

Both men fall silent, although they sneer at each other when the winged man sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. 

“Are you quite sure this is a good idea, Eric?” he asks the man with the weapons.

Eric sighs and crosses his arms over his chest. “Look. These two have been doing nothing but causing trouble in town for the last–what, ten months or so?”

The suited man clears his throat. “Eleven months, thirteen days, seven hours, and–”

“Thank you, Thaddeus,” the winged man interrupts. 

“Micah,” Thaddeus says with a nod.

“Right, okay, eleven months and thirteen days,” Eric says, waving his hand loosely in the air. “What I know is that I’m under pressure from concerned folks in town who don’t want anything to do with supernaturals anyway–”

Both Thaddeus and Zachary roll their eyes at this.

“–and the Council doesn’t want any more bad publicity from anybody else being put down–”

“We’ve barely touched each other!” Zachary protests loudly, standing and coming closer to the crib. “We didn’t even spill any blood–”

The baby turns slightly and lets out a single noise of discomfort. All four men freeze and look down, trying to determine if they’ve woken her. After a few moments, she lets out one loud gaseous noise from her rear end and settles back down. Thaddeus wrinkles his nose.

“You think it really matters if blood’s spilled?” Eric asks, dropping his voice closer to a whisper. “All most folks need to know is that you’re fighting, and that’s enough to scare the pants off ‘em.”

“And we all know this can be resolved without any deaths,” says Micah. “Isn’t that right, gentlemen? You just need to learn to cooperate.”

Thaddeus and Zachary lock eyes for a brief moment before frowning at each other. Zachary crosses his arms over his chest.

“As long as the bloodsucker doesn’t try anything, I guess,” Zachary says.

Thaddeus bristles. “If you will recall, Zachary, you and your boyfriend are the ones who started this–”

“Ex-boyfriend, thanks, and I’ve told you, we didn’t know where we were when we parked the car–”

“Enough!” Eric hisses as the baby gurgles. 

The men fall silent again. Tension swirls in the room, and it smells peculiarly like baby farts.

“Right, well,” Micah says delicately. “This should be a good exercise in getting along for both of you.”

“How long do you expect us to take care of this…thing?” Thaddeus asks.

“Not long,” Micah assures him. “Only until we can find a more permanent solution. She’s just a human. I’m sure we can find a suitable adoptive family soon enough.”

Zachary shakes his head. Thaddeus sighs. For the moment, at least, the fight has gone out of them both.

“Congratulations,” Eric says, voice dry. “You’re dads.”

“Thanks,” Zachary replies, rolling his eyes again. “It’s just what I always wanted.”

***

The lack of noise is a short-lived blessing.

“What does she need?” Thaddeus asks, looking at Zachary with panic in his eyes. The baby, as of yet nameless, screeches in Thaddeus’ arms. “Why is she making this awful sound?”

“I don’t know!” Zachary replies. “Oh, God, make it stop!”

“I know not how!”

“Okay, okay, um.” Zachary runs a hand through his hair frantically. “When was the last time she ate?”

“An hour past!” Thaddeus is on the verge of shrieking himself.

“Okay, it’s not that. Probably. Have we changed her diaper?”

Thaddeus’ eyes grow very wide. “No. How often is that required?”

“Oh fuck, okay, let me–” Zachary pulls his phone from his pocket and begins to frantically type into a search bar. Thaddeus, for all his blustering about not knowing anything about children, automatically begins to rock the crying babe in an effort to soothe her. “You’re a good singer, sing to her, it might help while I figure this out.”

Thaddeus looks at Zachary in shock for a brief moment before the baby’s cries shake his core again. He begins to hum before he can stop himself.

“All hail the power of Jesus’ name, let angels prostrate fall!”

“Okay, keep singing, set her down on the table here.”

“Bring forth the royal diadem and crown him Lord of all.”

Zachary grabs diapers and wipes from the stash Micah left them and hurries back over to Thaddeus and the baby. 

With the help of both WikiHow and a Youtube video, Zachary manages to successfully coach Thaddeus through changing his first diaper. The baby settles some, but she still seems unhappy, so Thaddeus picks her back up and rocks her like he did before.

The baby’s cries finally soften. Then they stop all together. A bubble of spit rises up from her lips. Thaddeus continues to sing, and her eyes grow heavier and heavier.

“Set her in the crib,” Zachary whispers.

Thaddeus nods, voice unwavering, and walks her over to the crib. He sets her down gently, and within just a few moments, her eyes fall closed. He stands half-paralyzed, afraid to move, then takes very small steps away from her. When he’s certain she won’t wake, he goes over to the rocking chair and collapses into it.

“Oh, thank the heavens,” he sighs.

The two men sit in something resembling companionable silence for several long minutes. Thaddeus’ eyes have just started to droop when Zachary speaks up.

“Interesting choice of lullaby,” he murmurs.

Thaddeus huffs in his direction. “I panicked. All I could think of were hymns.”

“Ancient ones.”

“That particular hymn is only a few years older than I am, as a matter of fact.”

Zachary smirks. “Like I said. Ancient.”

Thaddeus crosses his arms and frowns. “Not that it matters, but strictly speaking, my body is younger than yours. I was Turned at age twenty-seven, and if I recall correctly, you are somewhere in your thirties.”

“Thirty-three, but werewolf bodies age differently than human bodies.”

“I knew that, although it does explain your total lack of maturity.”

“Oh, sure. Know thine enemy.”

Thaddeus sighs. “You may be many things, Zachary, including a thorn in my side, but you are not my enemy.”

Zachary is quiet for a moment. The baby coos in her crib, and they both look at her to see if she’ll wake. When she doesn’t, Zachary turns to look at Thaddeus.

“Thanks for that. And for what it’s worth…I am sorry about intruding on your territory. Once all this is over, I swear, I won’t bother you again.”

Thaddeus chews on his lip and then nods slowly. “Might I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

“Where did you hear about my affinity for singing?”

Zachary laughs once under his breath. “I didn’t hear about your affinity. I heard you. Remember the night I turned off your water heater while you were in the shower?”

Thaddeus frowns. “Unfortunately, yes.”

“Well. You were singing. Before the screaming, I mean. It was…nice.”

“I see.” Thaddeus’ cheeks bloom red with a blush. “Well. You are welcome to choose any bedroom you like for your comfort while you stay here. And given that this is your home too, at least for the moment, feel free to…invite any guests over that you please, so long as any messes are cleaned up and your noise does not disturb the child.”

Zachary offers him a smile, his lips turning up just slightly at the corners. “Thanks. We should probably give her a name, you know. Calling her ‘the baby’ is gonna get old.”

Thaddeus lays his hands in his lap. “I am afraid all my ideas will be biblical in nature, and while Micah has been a perfectly obliging representative of the Lord above, I imagine you would prefer a different source.”

Zachary shrugs. “To be honest, I didn’t really have any thoughts. Some Bible names aren’t so bad. Got any off the top of your head?”

Thaddeus is silent for a moment, staring down at his hands. Zachary waits until he finally speaks up.

“Sarah,” he says, his voice hardly above a whisper.

Slowly, Zachary nods. “Sarah it is.”

For a moment, the two of them meet each other’s gaze. It holds longer than either of them expect, but Thaddeus finally stands, his posture stiff as ever.

“I will keep the monitor tonight. Sleep well, Zachary.”

He quits the room before Zachary has a chance to respond.

***

Thaddeus’ nostrils flare with agitation. “I thought you would have an alternative placement for her by now.”

Micah sighs on the other end of the phone. “Yes, I thought I would too. Unfortunately I don’t.”

“It’s been four months, Micah. You have thoroughly and absolutely changed both our lives, you have completely uprooted Zachary and forced him into a home where he–well, I should hope he does not feel unwelcome, but it cannot be comfortable for him. If this was simply an exercise in cooperation, rest assured that you have succeeded and find a more suitable home for her!”

“I’m trying,” Micah replies. “I am, but it’s not as easy as you think–”

“It seemed easy enough for you to throw her at us, two bachelor men who knew nothing about caring for a child–”

“Look, Thaddeus, I’d like to take her off your hands. I really would. But she’s safe and happy there and I can’t guarantee that anywhere else right at this moment. Just…hang in there a little longer, alright?”

Thaddeus frowns. “I will not be hanging anywhere,” he answers, and he snaps his cell phone shut. 

He stands in the kitchen for a few moments, grateful that Zachary had offered to take Sarah up to bed. He doesn’t like being around her when he’s angry. Maybe it’s a superstition, but he doesn’t want to pass any negative emotions on to her. He has half a mind to drive up to the church and bang at the door until Micah shows up to give him a real piece of his mind.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you hang up on someone,” says Zachary.

Thaddeus turns, caught by surprise. “I–I am sorry,” he stutters. “I hope I was not too loud, I was only–Micah is being uncooperative–”

“It’s alright,” Zachary says, coming closer. He takes a seat at the bar. “I was headed down to my room and heard your voice. We’ve still got her for now, then?”

Thaddeus nods. “I imagine there are many perfectly appropriate homes for her where she would have parents happy to give her everything she needs,” he seethes.

Zachary raises an eyebrow at him. “Are you unhappy, Thaddeus?”

“I,” Thaddeus begins, but he stops himself. His brows furrow, and he looks down at the floor. “I did not mean it like that.”

“Yeah. I know.” Zachary sighs. “I mean, I guess I didn’t really picture life turning out this way, but…it hasn’t been too bad while it’s been like this. You’ve made me feel…really welcome, actually. I wasn’t expecting that.”

“You overheard,” Thaddeus murmurs.

“Just the last bit. Sorry.”

Thaddeus shakes his head. “I meant it. I cannot imagine having to leave the place you have lived your whole life only to move in with…well. Your enemy.”

“You’re not,” Zachary says immediately. Thaddeus cocks his head in confusion. “You’re not my enemy either, Thaddeus. Especially not now, after everything we’ve been through the last few months. I’ve…actually really enjoyed getting to know you a little bit.”

Thaddeus swallows, feeling like his tongue is stuck to the roof of his mouth. “I…feel the same,” he says haltingly. 

“Then it’s not so bad, right?” Zachary says. “We’re muddling through. We’ll go back to normal at some point.”

Thaddeus nods, but then he frowns again. “What I said before. About not seeing each other again. I…I hope that is not the case. Perhaps we could even…well…”

“See each other on purpose?” Zachary suggests, his voice lilting teasingly.

“Perhaps,” Thaddeus mumbles.

Zachary smiles. “I think I’d like that.”

***

“Okay, Sarah, go to Papa!”

The baby laughs, as she always does when she hears Papa’s name. Thaddeus is on his knees across the room, holding out his hands to catch the girl. 

“You are recording this, right?” Thaddeus asks, not taking his eyes away from the girl, who is attempting to move herself toward him. 

“I’m recording, I’m getting it all,” Zachary answers from behind his phone. “Come on, Sarah, go see Papa! He’s gonna give you kisses when you get there!”

“Come on, Sarah!” Thaddeus calls.

The baby laughs some more and begins to pull herself across the carpet. With heaps of encouragement from both of them, she eventually makes it within Thaddeus’ reach, and he scoops her up and blows kisses all over her cheeks, as promised. She screams with delight. Zachary zooms in on their happy faces, and his heart squeezes tight in his chest at the sight. He stops recording and pockets his phone, going over to join them.

“You did it, baby girl!” he praises. “Oh, Daddy’s so proud of you!”

Thaddeus passes her over so that Zachary can kiss her, too. The three of them stand and head into the kitchen, where a special dessert of mashed bananas and pears is waiting. They take turns spoon feeding her, and Zachary makes sure to record a bit of that, too. When she’s done eating, Thaddeus lifts her out of the high chair and rests her on his hip.

“She is going to be too big to carry around pretty soon,” he says, sounding regretful.

“You getting weak there, old man?” Zachary teases. Months ago it might have been mocking, but now it’s only said with affection and care.

“Hardly,” Thaddeus answers. “I simply cannot believe how fast she has grown.”

Sarah laughs some more, but they both know she’s getting sleepy. They tag-team their bedtime routine, getting milk warmed up and diaper changed and pajamas on. In no time she’s down in her crib, fast asleep, and they’re standing over her with smiles on their faces.

“Do you think Micah and Eric ever meant to find a different place for her?” Thaddeus whispers.

Zachary shrugs. “Hard to say. It doesn’t matter, though. This is her home, now.”

Thaddeus tears his gaze away from his daughter to look at Zachary. “You intend to stay, as well?”

“That’s my little girl,” Zachary says. “I’m not going anywhere. Not for as long as you’ll have me.”

Thaddeus bites his bottom lip and can’t quite meet Zachary’s gaze. “You can stay as long as you’d like.”

They both look back down at the baby. Slowly, Zachary’s hand drifts over to rest on top of Thaddeus’. Thaddeus stiffens for half a moment, but he relaxes just as quickly. Out of the corner of his eye, he catches Zachary smiling.