Original Soul Food

Original Soul Food

Our Story

Witch, Head Chef and Founder, Marina the Dreaded, started her humble beginnings as a young one hundred and thirty year old harvester of human souls in the underworld. After an apprenticeship with Hades God of the Dead, she asked herself: Why isn't there a convenient place to provide a gourmet experience for witches looking to suck the youth out of fresh and locally sourced humans?

So it was. Founded in 1690 Salem, Massachusetts, Marina the Dreaded started our beloved “Original Soul Food”, a restaurant using only locally sourced souls, fresh emotions and the most decadent of personalities. “Original Soul Food” provides a new tasting menu every day, so there is never a dull moment. We invite you to enjoy this fine dining experience and watch the years melt off of you as you revel in our delectable offerings.

Today’s Tasting Menu

Amuse-bouche

Narcissism

Start your journey with thoughts straight from ambitious human of New York City, New York, Roy Addleman. As a child he grew up in the cozy coastal town of Concord, Massachusetts to old money parents coming from rival fish trade conglomerates. Roy was a dunce in school, but what he lacked in smarts, he made up for in bullying and belittling his peers. Roy was taught that he had no flaws, other than being allergic to nuts. Through his father’s generous donations, Roy graduated from a human ivy league and began his career in Wall Street. A huge success, Roy stepped all over his fellow coworkers straight to the top. As a mogul in his own right looking to settle down, Roy decided to marry his college sweetheart, Mary-Anne Bailey. Throughout their marriage he cheated on her with several mistresses. As was his nature, Roy took out any pressure or pain he felt on those around him, providing for a stress-free, guilt-free set of thoughts poured over decadent truffle butter and scrumptious newt’s head.

Naivety

Like sweet to sour, pair narcissism with the balance of naivety from youthful twenty-five year old, Mary-Anne Addleman, devoted first wife of Roy Addleman. Mary-Anne fell in love with Roy during a college art history class Roy walked into by mistake. Her heart fairly melted when she saw his slicked back obsidian hair and ultra-white smile. They married against the wishes of her family, who begged her to reconsider. Mary-Anne did not have enough awareness nor time to discover Roy’s infidelities and insider trading before her untimely and mysterious death. Coroners ruled the electrocution from a toaster thrown into her full bath, an accident. Mary-Anne’s lack of awareness was harvested freshly from the bath and aged to perfection in our temperature controlled cellar. Sweet and bitter, sink your teeth into pure naivety laid upon a bed of bamboo and drizzled with snail oil, a perfect moisturizer for the skin.

First course

Greed Souffle

Try Roy's second wife, Poppy Addleman's, greedy personality, thoughts and actions. A regular at Roy’s country club, Poppy positioned herself to snare the newly widowed Roy. Through “chance” meetings and name dropping, Poppy caught her man and had a lavishly attended Paris wedding. As a twenty-seven year old, Poppy bought three mansions and remodeled her bathrooms out of cruelty-attained gold through illegal child labor. She did not step out of the house without at least three luxury brands adorning her well massaged and diamond decorated body. The word “budget” did not exist in Poppy’s vocabulary. Roy’s infidelities and white collar crimes did not bother her as long as she was able to maintain her lush lifestyle. One day, when she went to Roy’s office to pick up his checkbook, Poppy discovered a fifty thousand dollar check made out to a “Serena Foulbottom.” Though she didn’t mind Roy having his “play things”, she did mind him giving away money that could be in her pocket instead. That night Poppy confronted Roy and in a fit of anger accused him of getting rid of his first wife, Marry-Anne. The next day, Poppy was found dead by an accidental blow to the head from a stray tennis ball. Poppy’s life and death has provided the richest form of greed in puree form inside an outer Souffle shell crisped golden to perfection.

Second course

Vanity Pot Roast

Serena Addleman, third wife of Roy, provides the ingredients for this juicy delight. A former mistress of Roy, thirty-nine year old Serena lied about her age telling everyone she was twenty-nine years old. She was able to marry Roy before she became “too old for him.” Throughout her life, Serena had just about every plastic surgery known to man, including, but not limited to, face lifts, liposuction, cat-eye lifts, breast augmentation, rhinoplasty, dermal fillers and a Brazilian butt lift. After a particularly trying eyebrow lift for Serena, Roy came home panicked. He told Serena to pack all her belongings so they could head to Thailand to “lay low” for a while. He needed to avoid a couple of angry investors. When Serena found out they would be living in a hut, with no running water, in a remote village, she refused to go. That very day, Serena was found in a supine position, in the middle of a golf course, dead from botox poisoning. Serena’s vanity is baked in an original moroccan clay oven, marinated in rich spotted frog bouillon, with a side of forbidden black rice.

Third Course

Grilled Revenge

Roy Addleman fell in love for a fourth time with his assistant, Tilly Santos and quickly made her his fourth wife. Tilly was sweet, comforting and seemed to anticipate all of Roy’s demanding needs without any fuss or muss. Tilly made Roy want to be a better man. Determined to be reformed, Roy threw out all his most cherished tokens: a toaster, tennis ball and needle. He retired at the ripe age of forty-five and decided to sail around the world with his love. On their yacht, the “New Beginnings”, Tilly waited for the ocean to overtake the land before serving Roy a special meal prepared just for him. As he bit into his last bite of pot pie with glee, he looked into Tilly’s eyes and told her that he loved her. Tilly, in response, told him she had waited for this moment her entire life. Tilly revealed that she was Mary-Anne Bailey’s little sister, Tilly Bailey, and the pot pie Roy polished off was full of nuts. Roy choked as his skin blocked his airway in reaction to the allergens. He fell off his chair, and via a well-timed wave, fell overboard. Roy was found dead, washed up on the shore in what a coroner (Tilly’s boyfriend) ruled an accidental drowning. Tilly’s revenge is grilled medium rare, served with a side of mouthwatering vindication and succulent satisfaction.

Dessert

Resolve Brulee

End your tasting journey with the sweetness of resolve as Tilly and her boyfriend lived the rest of their lives in Switzerland, off of Roy’s massive fortune. Resolve is folded in with heavy black cat cream, ethically-sourced vanilla, luscious burnt caramel, and will be torched in real time, at your table.

*We kindly ask for no substitutions. Please alert your server of any allergies.