2 comments

Adventure Fiction Mystery

The sky was gray and cloudy. And the man hanging out under the pantheon wore a trench coat and hat. I was nervous to meet him. 

He would tell me what happened to Todd. The man I used to meet at the cafe with the lights that glowed warm like the sun. The man I was considering marrying if he said he wanted to. The one who replaced my memories and fears of past relationships with a gentle laugh and twinkling eyes. 

I had been setting aside the memories because Todd has been missing for a week. His mysterious two week long trip has turned into a month. And she wondered if she didn’t express her love clearly enough. She never said I love you. And now he is gone. 

The man throw a cigarette down on the ground and rubbed it out. He looked at me a little surprised. His bright blue eyes locked into my green eyes. And I wondered if we had meet before. If we had, where? He looked familiar but not the kind where I saw him regularly like Todd. But a passerby that didn't belong of looked more interesting than the rest of the scene. 

In a low rumble, he asks "are you Jean?"

"No, my name is Sarah."

He looks confused and starts to walk away. I grabbed his wrist. He pulls away. 

He is walking away and I try to follow him. But he is starting to run. 

"Hey, what happened to Todd?"

He stops and turns to look back at me. 

"I don't know. I was told to find Jean."

"Do you know Todd?"

"No." He pulls out a photo and says "I knew this man."

Sarah scans over the picture of Todd. He looks younger. "This is my Todd."

"Let's talk some where more private."

He hands over a map with an address and a time. 

Several hours later I went to the warehouse. And it takes me back to my childhood. When my parents meet up with clients and the notes under the door. And the training. 

My mother was an assian in Shanghai she killed the presidents son. My father killed the supreme court leaders son. And then they had the orders to kill each other. I am not sure how that first date of meeting went. I just know that we spent years in hiding. And lots of time in warehouses and discrete notes to kill. I also remember the endless hours of how to fight someone. About a year before I meet Todd, I thought it was time for get out of the business. Now I am in warehouse wondering what shady crappy I walking into. 

The man shows up and says Todd made some mistakes. He killed the wrong person. He had a relationship with a women named Jean and I am guessing you. There's been orders to clean up all of his affairs.

The memories of this man are starting to pour in. He was at a rally. And he left the scene shortly before the bomb went off. He was sloppy. I was grateful. The young and the sloppy are easy to clean up. 

He pulls out a choker. And I realize this man is not very effective at all. Silencer would be a better idea. When he is within range, I flip him over on the floor and pin him. "I was barely dating the man. I didn't know what he did for a living. It seems sloppy to assume Todd would communicate. And you didn't even know my name." She grunts and sighs. "How many women were you sent to attack?"

Sounding defeated just "one." 

"You know I thought we could be a great couple. In an incredulously tone, he was a hired killer?"

"What do you do for a living that's so trust worthy?"

"Retired assistan."

Blondy laughs. "Of course!"

"It's not funny. It's very challenging to date. There’s always a question of will they try and kill me. Will I be asked to kill them? Where to store my weapons? It just feels like an endless barrage of caution.” 

“You know it might be better to just date another assassin.”

“Well that is what my parents did and they seemed fairly happy. We did have to move around quite a bit though.” She shrugs her shoulders and works on tying him up. 

“Hey, hey, hey could we just pretend none of this happened.” 

“I am not sure that’s a good idea. Besides, I will be far more gentle than someone who will come after you for a botched job.” 

“Ok, I have a confession to make. I don’t know what happened to Todd. I just knew you spent time with him. And I wanted to find an excuse to meet you. So I heard he was missing…I thought it was my chance to find an excuse to meet you.”

Sarah stops what she’s doing and looks puzzled. “All of this was your way of meeting me?”

He sheepishly says “yes.” 

“You pulled a choker out.” 

“It’s an old kink toy.”

“What happened at the rally?”

“O I had stomach problems so I ran off early to find a bathroom.”

“You threatened me.”

“Honestly you were my first attempted job. My friend gave as try out. I had been watching you for months and I kind of liked you. Whether or not we go out, I think you should know more serious people are after you. I don’t know what happened to Todd. I do know that people want you to pay for the mistakes your parents made. They are more challenging to find then you are.”

“Now what?”

“If you're open to it, let’s flee the country.”

“Why not?”

She got on the plane and although she regretted losing Todd there was a sense of when one door closes another one opens. And this would be a new beginning with someone who was familiar with her past. And someone looking to create a new future with her.

November 19, 2022 04:58

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2 comments

Tommy Goround
22:27 Nov 19, 2022

The man with the trench coat was a good opener. You turn the plot every few paragraphs and that is very effective. You gave me a story about the adult children of an assassin couple. At the face, this looks like a cliche and I'm going to get bored... You kept the story interesting, fresh and new. You did not try to give me a novel about a fairly elegant idea. You did not over narrate. Good -"it's not funny. It's very challenging to date." Good. -He sheepishly says “yes.” I am confused by the point of view. I thought it was a blonde woma...

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Mustang Patty
11:25 Nov 19, 2022

Hi Lisa, I can see that this if your first submission - Welcome to Reedsy! As I read through this story, I saw a strong story idea, but the execution of the writing was weak. Here are just a few techniques I think you could use to take your writing to the next level: READ the piece OUT LOUD. You will be amazed at the errors you will find as you read. You will be able to identify missing and overused words. It is also possible to catch grammatical mistakes – such as missing or extra commas if you read with emphasis on punctuation. (If you ...

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