The Missing Ingredient

My name is Rick Dick and I am a private investigator. Thirty years ago I took part in solving the biggest case that ever happened in a little town called Sprinkleton. Sprinkleton is a town much like the television show about the town of Mayberry. The people are all family and it is a very friendly town. I retired last year and figured I could make some side money writting the tells of being a private investigator. I have seen some crazy shit, pardon my French. I was just passing through the town of Sprinkleton on my way to New York city. I stopped by the local bakery to get me a couple of glazed donuts and a cup of coffee. When I entered the building two cops were questioning the cashier. I listened to their conversation and it seems like someone broke into the bakery at night and emptied the safe. An old lady motioned to me to come her way, so I did. When I got within ear shot she told me her name was Miss Shelly and this was her bakery. She then asked me what I would like to order. I told her my name Rick Dick and she blushed and giggled a little bit. I then told her what I wanted and she told me right away Mr Dick. As she walked away chuckling I could hear the cashier telling the he had no idea what happened. The cop told him it was probably some drifter then laughed. Then the cop turned and took a long look over at me. I thought to myself, shit, I hope that fucker doesn't come over here and give me any shit. Sure enough, he started walking over to me. He sat down right next to me and said. Someone robbed these good people last night. I've never seen you in town before, are passing through? I told him as a matter of fact I am just passing through. My name is Rick Dick and I am a private investigator, on my way to New York. Well well well a fancy city boy detective, right her in out little shit town. Shelly came up to our table with my order. Don't mind him Mr Dick, Sherrif Smith gives all passer buys a hard time. I keep telling him it's not good for bussiness but he doesn't listen. The Sheriff turns to Shelly and says, don't you think it's quite suspicious that the day after you are robbed a stranger shows up with an obvious fake name and orders two glazed donuts when your famous glazed donut secret ingredient has been stolen. Ok, ok, ok I can see where this is going and let me just stop you right there Sheriff Smith. Here is my identification card showing that my name is in fact Ricky Dick. As for the burglary I usually do not help people for free. However I will make an exception in this case just because I get the feeling I'm getting ready to meet this towns Bubby really soon. The Sheriff say something like oh so the big city guy is going to solve the case for us without even knowing anything about it huh. I then told the Sheriff this. Ok there doesn't seem to be any signs of a forced entry. I then ask Shelly if the back door was broken or any windows? She reply with a no. I then told Shelly that I noticed the cashiers name tag said Chris Smith and asked if he was related to Sheriff Smith. She confirmed that they were brothers. The Sheriff cut me off and started saying ok that's enough but Shelly jumped in and said she'd like to hear what I had to say. I thanked her then I asked if the donut I had just eaten had here secret ingredients in it. She looked puzzled and answer that yes they did. She then explained how she made the dough before she left last night. The Sheriff then asked what does that have to with anything? I told them that I stopped at a diner earlier in the day, in the town of Plainview about sixty miles up the road. I ordered the same thing I ordered here and it tasted exactly the same. I believe the name was Smith's Diner. Say Shelly, the Sheriff's mom wouldn't happen to be Helen Smith would it? I wish you all could see the expression on all of their faces. The Sheriff and Shelly started to yell at each other. The Sheriffs brother ran out of the bakery and I simply called the Plainview police department and made sure Shelly was safe. The Sheriffs brother was caught a couple of days later hiding in a barn right out of town. He had little knowledge about the law and went down in a blaze of glory. It was sad because he would have probably gotten off with a slap on the wrist. The Sheriff ended up losing his job and committed suicide two years after his brothers death. The Smiths diner is still in business today fortunately the Smiths do not run it anymore. Shelly and her special ingredient went what they now call virul and she ended up selling it to one of the biggest donut selling companies today. I'll let you guess which one it is. As for me I continued on to New York to start my own private investigating practice. All the names of the characters in my story have been made up to keep the identity of these people safe and I can't afford to pay them any royalties because I don't have any money. I can't wait to write about my first official case when I arrived in New York. I think the title will be something like fuck that cat in the tree. Show me your tits. Or something like that. Untill next time have a great day and remember stealing leads to suicide and getting shot by the police. I'm Rick Dick thank you for reading.