6:59 p.m.

Thursday.

7:00 p.m.

Yes! Today's the day. It's here. It's finally here. I'll finish this and I'll publish this and and and. Yes. I'll publish this.

But first, I'll finish this. 

Robin nods, taking a hold of his extended hand and No! No no no. Robin nods and takes a hold of his hand Yes! Perfect. They draw each other in.

Good.

Good.

I’m gonna have to find an editor. I’ll find one. Someone’s gonna love this. This is good. I just have to finish it. I’ll finish it and everyone will read it and everyone will know me and and and.

Keys jingling. Dog barking.

They're home. Couldn't they have taken longer?

I need to finish this. I will finish this and it's going to be awesome and it's going to get published and. Maybe they'll make a movie. Yes!

No, mom! I don't want dinner! I need to finish this. Just one more chapter and I'll finish this. Three years. It has been three years. No paying attention at school. No Sir! Just writing and writing and. Maybe I'll have dinner.

But no! Robin and Daniel have just gotten together. Finally! 

One chapter left and I'm done. They're finally together. Together. Finally. 

Daniel pulls away but Robin's hand is still firmly in his grasp...

7:52 p.m.

Daniel pulls away but Robin’s hand is still firmly in his grasp. Wherever they were going, Robin would gladly follow No! No no no. I can’t do this. Can I do this? Maybe I can’t finish this. Wherever they were going, Robin has to follow. Better. But good enough? 

Who said I should be a writer? It’s too hard. I can’t finish this. I did. Shouldn’t have said that. This is just just just too hard. Robin has to follow! Daniel is the one, he‘s always been!

Now what!? Oh, dinner. Again? I’m not good enough. Shouldn’t be a writer. Shouldn’t have said that.

So Robin follows and.

And.

Daniel turns?

Would people like it? Would they read it? They won’t if it’s not published and it won’t get published. It’s too bad. The book’s bad. The writing’s bad. The story’s good?  Robin and Daniel. Yes. The story’s good.

But it won’t get published. Because it won’t get finished.

I can’t finish this today. Today’s not the day.

She has to see this through. Daniel had already…

9:05 p.m.

I know! She has to see this through. Daniel had already suffered enough for one night Yes! Yes yes yes. Finally! I can work with this. They take each other’s hands and they walk out of the house and Robin follows him into the night and and and. Boom! Big reveal! Readers are gonna love it. They’ll. No. Too obvious. Won’t work.

Why won’t it work? I need to finish this today. It’s the last chapter! Why can’t they work?

Who said I should be a writer, again? I’m terrible! No one’s gonna read this. No one’s gonna publish this.

It’s.

It’s.

It’s garbage! Throw it out. Definitely. Erase the whole thing. It just won’t work. I won’t finish this today.

Start over?

Yes! NO! I can’t start over. Just one chapter left. Someone’s gonna like it, right? Mom, probably. Who said I should be a writer? She did. But but back to Robin! You have to write Robin!

Focus. Focus. I am focused. Daniel had already suffered enough for the night. In fact, he’s spent the last couple of days submerged in a deep sea of sadness after the untimely death of Pretentious much? I can’t rush this. But I won’t be able to finish this?

Barking. Barking. Shut up Maggie! A deep sea of sadness. Hate it. How else to put it? Drop it.

Robin has the nagging suspicion that there’s something weighting Daniel down Yes! Better. Much better.

Much better? Still not better enough.

Come on. Come on. Something weighting down on Daniel Now it’s better!

Robin has the nagging suspicion that there’s something weighting down on Daniel…

9:49 p.m.

Robin has the nagging suspicion that there’s something weighting down on Daniel. He’d been carrying himself all day as if his feet weighted a hundred tons which, considering the small despairing crowd they’d just left behind, wasn’t that unexpected.

Something about his hands, she thinks. They’re jittery, sweaty and all over the place.

It’s just like the time they’d sat together late at night on her couch and he told her about his childhood. The parts she couldn’t see for herself despite being there with him. They were best friends after all. And then it clicks.

Daniel isn’t sad. He’s nervous.

“Is this about Angela?” she asks, but the question goes unanswered.

Robin looks up from their linked hands to where Daniel is walking just a few inches ahead of her, his long legs making it a struggle to catch up with him, something she’d both hated and admired since they were five.

“Danny. Daniel, slow down”

The night is frigid and the street’s almost deserted except for the occasional parked car. Now she’s the one nervous. She could understand wanting to get away from all the general depression of the house, but to act like this… she shivers and this time, November has nothing to do with it.

11:34 p.m.

She shivers and this time, November has nothing to do with it I don’t know. I’m so close. This is the end. It has to be a good end. They’re out the house, funeral left behind, nosy people out of the way but but but. It’s missing something. This wasn’t the end. Not the one I planned. What to do now? Start over? Maybe. NO! I have to finish this today. It’s been three years and they’re here. Finally here. They’re together. They have to stay together.

After two blocks of rushed and silent walking, Robin decides to tug Daniel’s hand and bring him to a stop Okay. I can work with this. They’re gonna talk. This is it. 

They stop.

They don’t talk.

What now? It has to end right. Today’s the day. It was one chapter left and now it’s only one sentence away. What to say, what to say? He leans in. She leans in. Daniel brings her closer to him once again and No! No no no Robin pulls herself closer to him and squeezes his hand in a nervous gesture of her own Yes!

No.

No no no.

I got it! Yes. Now I know! Who said I should become a writer, again? 

Robin pulls herself closer to him but stares dumbfounded when Daniel lets go of her hand and takes a step back, and she doesn’t need to ask to know what he’s about to say. She can see it in his eyes. It had been there all day. It was in his hands, in his stance. Robin braces herself and then Daniel tells her the one thing she did not expect to hear. 

“I’m dying”

Friday.

12:01 a.m.

END OF BOOK 1