[Prequel to my story 'Safe Space']
She stood across the room surrounded by meatheads and bimbos, dressed in a red mini dress that left very little to the imagination. Every curve of her petite body was on display. Her warm ginger hair fell in ringlets around her shoulders, bringing out the natural red blush in her cheeks. When she laughed all the men leaned in as she did the same, their eyes dipping down to her prominent cleavage. She didn't seem to notice though, or care for that matter, sipping on what looked to be her third or fourth glass of punch. She was certainly loose, barefoot and swinging her hips to the beat of Hotel California in the midst of her rag-tag group.
Gavin couldn't take his eyes off of Jennifer, green with envy that he had to watch her from afar. He'd been watching her all night. In fact, she was the only reason he decided to show up to Dawkins' party; he knew she would be there.
Gavin had a glass in his hands, though he hadn't bothered to drink any of it after the first revolting sip. It might as well have been straight rubbing alcohol with the way it burned down your throat. But he held it anyway, trying to seem like he was supposed to be there. He wasn't really invited, as he knew guys like Dawkins who played football and dated girls like Jennifer were way out of his social circle. But the party was supposed to be for all of the graduating seniors, and his "best friend" Michael was going, so he went. He wouldn't admit it, but being at the parties made him feel a little less jealous of the lifestyle guys like Dawkins lived. He was able to experience it from a third person perspective at the events. If that was his only way to experience Jennifer, he would have to settle for that.
Gavin's shoulder length black hair drooped into his green eyes as he surveyed the space, trying not to draw any unnecessary attention to himself. All he wanted was to talk to Jennifer ... to get her alone. If it were even possible. He was so wrapped up in his own thoughts he didn't even notice Mike stumble into the room toward him.
"You might wanna pick your jaw up off of the floor," Mike chuckled, his breath hot with liquor as he spoke, his eyes following Gavin's stare to Jennifer.
Gavin rolled his eyes, pulling his stare from Jennifer for only a moment, shifting his weight, "Whatever."
Mike and Gavin were kind of like friends. The two were pretty eccentric according to the higher-ups on the high school food chain. So, they ate lunch together every day, took most of the same classes, and often carpooled to school together. Mike was unsure of how Gavin really felt about him, as the boy never really talked much, at least not to him. When they did talk, Gavin often seemed annoyed or vacant. He figured it was probably just the way Gavin was though, and wrote it off as part of his personality. Mike had only been over to Gavin's house once, and for only ten minutes, but in that span of time Gavin's mother had told her son to be quiet so many times it was no wonder Gavin didn't bother to speak. This was some of the only meaningful information Mike had about Gavin, but their surface conversations seemed to be enough to bond them. Despite how little the two boys knew about each other, they kept one another around because if they hadn't, they both would have been alone.
"Do you like her?" Mike asked then, leaning against the wall beside Gavin, taking a swig from his plastic red cup. Mike was short and stubby, with glasses and jean shorts that seemed to be permanently attached to his body. The class clown type, except everyone laughed at him and not with him.
Gavin watched intently as Jennifer squealed and grabbed onto her friends' wrists, attempting to pull them out to the dance floor with her as Good Times by Chic came on. Gavin found the music to be uninteresting and too loud, but found her reaction to be ... cute.
"I guess," Gavin answered finally, seeming slightly off-put by the question. Mike grinned from ear to ear and nudged the other boy in the ribs teasingly.
"Well you better make your move," Mike warned, "Haven't you heard Dawkins is trying to get her to do long distance with him when she goes off to college?"
Gavin shrugged his shoulders at whatever Mike was saying, only half listening as he watched Jennifer dance. Her body moved with such fluidity it was hard for him to pull his eyes away. Her smile lit up the space. She looked extraterrestrial. Unreal; like a dream. A woman had never appeared quite as bright and beautiful to Gavin before. It stunned him.
All of the girl's friends, including her on-again off-again boyfriend Dawkins, refused to dance with her and stuck to the sidelines. Before Gavin could think he shoved his cup of battery acid at Mike and his feet were moving, one battered Converse after the other carrying him onto the dance floor.
He was in front of Jennifer in seconds, and the girl paused momentarily and stared at him. Then he started swaying along to the beat, clapping his hands, and she beamed at him in excitement. Jennifer jumped up and down, her curls and breasts bouncing as she started to belt out the lyrics and dance with a timid, but blossoming, Gavin. Dawkins looked mortified, but Jennifer seemed to pay him no mind. Perfect.
The other people watching seemed thoroughly confused by the display, simply staring as Jennifer and Gavin started dancing together, hand in hand. It felt so natural. So right. Gavin had never felt free like that. Not for a while at least. As quickly as the moment came though, it fizzled out as Good Times slowly faded and some other pop tune replaced it.
"What's your name?" Jennifer asked, leaning in toward Gavin's ear to make sure he heard her, and a little so her maybe-ex would see. Gavin shivered as he felt Jennifer's breath on his skin, staring down at her with a sparkle in his mint colored eyes.
"Gavin," He said simply, speaking loudly over the music, "We're in Physics together."
Jennifer giggled, sending Dawkins a 'what're you gonna do about it' glance. Her laugh made Gavin's heart beat quicker, and his palms begin to sweat. He didn't care if she was only doing all of this to get a rise out of Dawkins; he felt his moment coming.
"What?" She yelled in her cinnamon-sugar voice. Before Gavin could answer she took him by the hand and dragged him through the house, everyone standing around staring in puzzlement as they watched the two pass by. Even Mike seemed flabbergasted as the two disappeared out of sight. After a minute, they made it out onto the balcony of Dawkins parents' mansion, where the music sounded far away and they could speak in their normal voices.
"Thanks for dancing with me," Jennifer said first to break the silence, still holding onto Gavin's hand as they stood outside, fireflies flickering in the summer darkness.
Gavin nodded his head, trying his best not to stutter but failing, "yeah ... uh- of course."
"You said we're in Physics together?" Jennifer asked then, dropping Gavin's hand to turn and look out over the balcony, her red-nailed fingers wrapping around the wire railing.
"Yeah," Gavin said back, swallowing a lump in his throat, joining her at the edge of the balcony. He fiddled nervously with the zipper on his hoodie, knocking the toe of one of his sneakers against the other. When he finally looked up at her, she was staring at him, and his breath caught in his throat. This was it.
"I don't know why I asked that," Jennifer admitted softly, taking a step toward the boy. She knew exactly what she was doing. "I know we're both in Physics."
He wasn't sure she was being truthful about this but he didn't really care. Gavin chewed the inside of his lip in anticipation, "You do?"
She nodded her head slowly, one of her hands finding it's way onto Gavin's chest. He almost stepped out of her reach but stopped himself, exhaling as she touched him gently. He prayed Dawkins wouldn't find them before he got what he came for.
"I've noticed you staring at me," the girl said in a low voice, batting her long eyelashes, her eyelids glittering in the dim lighting.
Gavin let one of his hands rest on her hip, the sound of Anita Ward's Ring My Bell vibrating out onto the balcony where they stood. Jennifer closed the space, and suddenly they were chest to chest. He'd never been so close with a girl before, and tried his best not to seem nervous. He doubted he'd ever be able to step out of his third person perspective, but with each passing second he felt more and more like he could be the type of guy Dawkins was. Maybe even better than him.
"So why do you stare at me, Gavin?" Jennifer whispered, her lips grazing the boy's earlobe as she leaned up onto her tip toes against him. Her breasts rubbed against his chest, just the thin fabric of his hoodie and her dress between their skin colliding. The boy felt his face heat up.
Gavin let his hands fully envelop her waist then, skimming the valley on the small of her back. Her smell, like roses and white chocolate and whiskey, was intoxicating to him. He let his eyes slip closed as the girl's lips traced his jawline.
"What do you wanna do to me?" Jennifer asked in the sexiest, raspy voice, her grasp on the boy tightening as his hands found their way even lower, his slender fingers grazing the backs of her thighs.
Gavin sighed lowly, turning so Jennifer was standing with her back to the edge of the balcony. She giggled as Gavin effortlessly picked the girl up by her thighs, letting her sit on the edge of the wire railing. She continued to kiss him all over, her latest peck landing on the corner of Gavin's mouth.
"I wanna push you off of here," Gavin moaned, holding Jennifer's thighs as she sat precariously on the edge. She tensed in his arms, pulling back slightly to look at Gavin, who was flushed with lust. She was sure she misheard him.
"What did you say?"
Gavin leaned in and kissed Jennifer's lips hard and fast, the girl timidly returning the kiss. He let her go, catching her at the last second by the strap of her red dress, which was far too thin to hold the weight of even her small body. She dangled, trying to grip the railing with her ankles, with no luck, as the boy held her out.
"You heard me, bitch."
Jennifer tried to grab at Gavin's hand, scratching and clawing as he fully let go, her body falling four stories to the pavement below. The sound she made as she hit the driveway was more exciting than Gavin had imagined. He had actually been able to hear her skull crunch, and the sound of her screams stop in their tracks. Slowly leaning over the balcony to stare down at her, he let out a guttural groan, his knees weak with pleasure. Her blood. Her hair. Her dress. Everything so red. She looked even more beautiful then, splattered against the pavement, like some sort of Picasso.
As he turned back toward the door to head inside he sucked in a deep breath to collect himself, and then threw the sliding door open with as much urgency as he could muster. His voice came out fractured with fear and horror, yelling for somebody to help Jennifer. When the police finally showed up, they didn't seem suspicious at all. Gavin told them he didn't know Jennifer very well. And that he thought she had simply had too much to drink and fell over the edge. Dawkins had other accusatory things to say, but Gavin, being one of the only kids at the party who had been sober, was easier to believe.
Good times, indeed.
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35 comments
great twist! didnt see that coming :)
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thank you so much!! :)
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woah wasn’t expecting that twist. i was like ‘why is this tagged as thriller?’ then i read on. nice work. i think the ending was a bit rushed, but i’m not sure if that’s what you intended. anyway your story was the inspiration i needed to continue with mine because i’ve been feeling so unmotivated 😂
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i did want it to have a sort of frantic feeling, as if Gavin had planned wanting to hurt Jenn but having to work on the fly to come up with how he was going to do that in the moment. glad i was able to help with the motivation!! i know that limbo all too well :) thanks for reading!!
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So this was when it started... Psychopath.
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thanks for reading naomi!! <33
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You're welcome! Thanks for reading mine too! 😊
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Great prequel. If you haven't already seen it, the movie "Psycho" by Alfred Hitchcock might be of interest. It may also provide you with inspiration for further plot developments if you decide to continue writing about Gavin's twisted life.
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i have seen "Psycho" many times!!! it's one of my favorites actually, among movies with psychotic protagonists. i also love "American Psycho", "The Firefly Trilogy", "Saw", the "Creep" movies, and "Funny Games" just to name a few!! i'm always down to talk horror films :) thanks again for reading!! <3
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I'm only familiar with the classics...anything up to "Blair Witch Project." It's got to be pretty darn good if I'm going to watch anything made after that... Do you recommend "American Psycho?"
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very much so!! the book AND film are excellent. bret easton ellis is one of my favorite authors, and the film is female directed which makes it even more profound for me.
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Oh wow, I did not expect this to take such a dark and horrifying turn. Although there were signs throughout, the focus on red. Calling her loose, stuff like that that made gavin's attraction suspect.
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i'm glad you enjoyed :) thanks so much for reading!! <3
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Yes I did not see that coming either. Nice ending...
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thank you!!!! :)
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That turn came out of nowhere. Great twist.
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thank you!!! :)
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You took a lot of big risks with this story. It's risky to have a story with an omniscient narrator, but it's not overdone. It's also risky to have a "laughing at and not laughing with" character (Mike). Very well-written story overall. Jennifer seems like quite the lady.
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thank you so much!! these types of characters have always been my favorite to write, i think they're the most interesting people! i'm glad you enjoyed :)
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i love the ending. Very unexpected. If you read my story "take another selfie" i have a twist to my ending you might like as well. This story kept me interested the whole time. good job!
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thank you so much!!! :)
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No problem! It was a pleasure to read🙂
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The twist at the end definitely was unexpected. Throughout the story, you used some arresting images ("cup of battery acid" and "like some sort of Picasso"). The paragraph "Her body moved with such fluidity it was hard for him to pull his eyes away. Her smile lit up the space. She looked extraterrestrial. Unreal; like a dream." is particularly evocative.
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thank you so much for reading and commenting <333
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Nice story. I hate seeing the innocent being suspected or punish for a crime they know nothing about.
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thank you so much!! :)
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I would have loved to hear his detailed thoughts on him letting her fall to her death. He detailed her appearance with nothing left to imagine. That would be my only suggestion, such a great story. Thank you for sharing this piece with all of us!
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thanks so much for reading!!! <3
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Powerful imagery. Love the twist. Well done. Did you plan the balcony first and rewind to a beginning? Or was this written start to finish. I really want to learn who to structure like this. It was beautiful but tragic.
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first of all, thank you so so much!!! all of my stories are written start to finish, most of the time without a clear ending in mind. i just kind of find my way there along with the characters. it's always been easiest for me to just shoot for a certain feeling, and then once i get there cut it off before i give the reader too much. hope this helps!! and once again, thanks a billion for reading and commenting! :)
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I really love Gavin as a character because he is so unapologetically awful. You can see it even in the way the story describes Jennifer since it’s written in third person limited from his perspective (I hope I got that right). The beginning is so negatively charged despite all it being in reality is a bunch of high schoolers having fun. Gavin sees himself as above it all, views everyone else as parasites, when he’s the one that’s the real problem. It’s super fun to have such an unlikeable but interesting character.
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thank you so much!!! i appreciate you taking the time to read and comment. i thoroughly enjoy writing Gavin for all the same reasons. he is such an enigma, and yet so simple?? i like imaging what goes on in his head. when i write an actual long-form novel, i definitely want the MC to be similar to Gavin. i always try to write what i'd like to read, and he fits the bill perfectly!!
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When you do write that novel some day, I can’t wait to read it!! I’ll be on the look out for you!
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thanks so much!! :')
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