Mark Fitzgerald was the captain of a small icebreaker ship in the Canadian Arctic Ocean. He and six others of his members on the 65-footer, were headed back to Hudson Bay via the Hudson Strait. This trip in particular was shorter and was expected to be a fairly easy one, but Fitzgerald underestimated the thickness of the sea ice during this trip. Fitzgerald was not the type of man who worried easily. He had sailed over a hundred times throughout the arctic ocean in his life, through the empty, desolate, cold no-man's land. He had no friends and hardly any family to remember, his life was primarily his job. Which to a lot of people would be a place of grief, but to him it was hardly brain surgery. He navigated most of his life with that type of attitude, nothing could ever be too tough for the old Fitzgerald that all of his comrades knew.
However, his cockiness didn't prepare him for what was next for him to endure. To Fitzgerald's surprise and the dismay of the crew there was a leak in the boat. So much time has passed since it has been noticed that the ship had a significant amount of water filling the lower vessel of the ship. The amount of water entering the ship was becoming increasingly dangerous. Icebreakers sinking was a very rare issue and a situation Fitzgerald never truly thought he would have to address. Of course, he and his crew with their long-time experience have had plenty of drills on situations such as these, however no number of drills and preparations could make the weight of the stress and bewilderment any less overwhelming.
A lot of men such as Fitzgerald himself, live their lives never picturing such things happening to them, but only to other people. Fitzgerald and his crew’s dread sunk in even deeper when they realized they'd have to evacuate the ship. Stranded in such a harsh, desolate, and hopeless place. Fitzgerald and his crew boarded a small lifeboat from the ship, desperate to find the closest ice raft big enough to fit all seven souls. When they did it was almost a relief. All seven men exited the small boat and onto the ice raft, they were able to pull their small boat onto the raft with them. Fitzgerald made sure to bring some necessities from the shipwreck: a small tent, fire starter, portable stove, flares, packaged food and water, some extra clothes, and first aid kit.
It was midday, and all seven men sat on their raft floating in the middle of the arctic ocean, taking in the view of their abandoned sinking ship about a mile away. Their grief gave way to acceptance of their possible deaths and the fact they were stranded in such a place no human was meant to be. As he sat taking in the infinite expanse of ice and water, Fitzgerald grew tired of sitting and decided to walk around their small icy island. Exploring the only thing separating them from the -2-degree Celsius water. At the other end of the raft Fitzgerald discovered the remains of a huge skeleton. The only thing that came to his mind was some type of pinniped.
The rest of the crew had warmed up some of their food on their portable stove. Fitzgerald made his way to join his men, not mentioning his discovery in fear of worrying the crew. They ate, talked, joked, and laughed, despite their impending doom of being condemned to the icy hell around them. The winds picked up and sent unforgiving cold right through them. Cold that penetrated their bones. Fitzgerald began to worry as he felt a tingling numbness in his toes. If only he and his comrades had appropriate kindling for a fire. He contemplated lighting the extra clothes he brought the crew and himself on fire to help avoid frostbite.
However, these concerns soon grew minuscule. The men noticed some distance away a white figure bobbing in the water. Fitzgerald got up and walked to the edge of their raft to try and get a better look. But the object disappeared before his eyes. He walked back to sit with his crew who asked him what the mysterious figure was, but he had no comfortable answer. The figure appeared once again, out of the water and onto an ice raft 100 feet away. Now the men can clearly see a polar bear. The men were terrified, stranded in a place they aren't supposed to be, up against a beast they were never meant to win against. The ice bear, the ancient beast whose purpose is to kill, and kill he is flawless at, stared intently at the seven vulnerable men. The beast jumped off its ice raft and plunged back in the water, re-surfacing on another neighboring ice raft. Now 60 feet away, the bear stared at its weak and vulnerable prey. All the men could do is stare back in horror.
The bear plunged back into the ocean and resurfaced on another neighboring ice raft, much closer this time. Now the killing machine was only 20 feet from the men. Standing tall on its front paws the bear, sniffed the air and again stared coldly at the seven men. The men stared back at the beast’s emotionless small black eyes. They gathered closer together forming a sort of huddle, as if that would do them any good. It felt like an eternity as the seven men stared back at the bears fixed gaze on them. It was as if they were looking at death itself right in the eyes. Never in their lives have either of the men felt so weak, fragile, and helpless. There, not too far away with only a small amount of water separating it from the men, stood a beast that could do anything it possibly pleased to its seven little victims.
The eternal stillness finally was broken as the bear plunged back into the water. Fitzgerald and his men jumped. They all huddled together in the middle of the raft. Not knowing when and where the creature of death could possibly re-appear next. Hearts pounding and trembling, it felt like an eternity as Fitzgerald and his comrades constantly looked in every direction, continuing to see nothing but moving water and ice all around them, with no predator in sight. For a second a glimmer of hope arises in Fitzgerald’s mind. Maybe, just maybe, the beast lost interest. This was of course deception, an evolutionary flaw in the human mind to deny the inevitable reality. As soon as any of the men finished their last breath the maneater returned. Climbing on to their ice raft, running faster than any of the men can react, the beast grabbed Fitzgerald by the top of his cranium and ran with Fitzgerald in its mouth plunging back into the ocean.
The beast climbed onto a neighboring ice raft some 10 feet away with Fitzgerald and began to eat him alive. The now six men could only watch as the bear chomped away on their friend, pulling his intestines and other organs out of his body with ease. The beast was totally content while his meal kicked and screamed in pain at the top of its lungs, contrary to the six men. They were deeply troubled by the screams, squelching and crunching of bone and wriggling bloody mass of torn up flesh that used to be their captain. However, the men could also not look away, it was as if the beast itself forced them into a trance, only to torment them and break their souls.
The screaming eventually stopped. And the bear finished chewing on its last piece of meat. All that remained on the island next them was blood-stained ice and bits and pieces of scattered flesh and bone. The beast lied content in the middle of the mess it made. It’s white fur now also stained a nice crimson color. Some chunks of matter hung and fell from the animal's face. He was a messy eater. The beast just stared at the six men who sat helplessly on the ice raft beside him. Stared intently, at his now defeated looking prey. And all the men could do in their power was return the gaze.
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I enjoyed this story Sonny. Thank you. I would like to do a narration on this story for my podcasts. You can find my work at www.blackwatermedia.net. Thank you for your consideration.
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Hello William, that would be awesome! Thank you!
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Fantastic! I will credit you on the video segment of the story. Do you write under the name Sonny Red?
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Sonny Red is the name I write under yes. Thank you William !
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Sonny,
Just wanted to let you know that the story will be out this week and I will drop you a You Tube link here. It turned out great!
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Thank you William!
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Very good descriptions and scene building, I really felt like I was with the men fearing for my life. I give great kudos that you knew that polar bears always go for the cranium first and that they eat their prey alive. As someone really interested in wildlife it makes me so happy to see their behavior's (while brutal) portrayed right.
It was graphic and gory but perfectly written as a short horror story. Seriously good job on this!
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Thanks Evelyn I appreciate you !
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Ooooh! Nice cautionary tale against overconfidence. Fitzgerald thought himself invincible, until he found himself and his men confronted with nature at its most brutal. You convey that sense of helplessness in the most terrifying way: "The beast just stared at the six men who sat helplessly on the ice raft beside him. Stared intently, at his now defeated looking prey. And all the men could do in their power was return the gaze." It's so very clear what's going to happen next...
One small piece of criticism I have is the tense changes to the present in the lines "where they can be days or even weeks without finding help" and "Now the men can clearly see a polar bear". It's minor, but a little jarring, so keeping the past tense consistent would help the story flow better. Even so, it's still pretty gripping, so keep up the good work!
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Thank you for your feedback Philippa, if there’s anything you would like feedback on please let me know!
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Hiya sonny...
I'm enjoying the voice, loving the details, wondering if you are recreating the Gordon Lightfoot song and then...
The immersion popped
How? Why?
How can immersion pop in a super short story? Everything was going well... You captivated in the intro, reminded of a hundred great sea adventures and then... Mr. Fitzgerald had no soul. Patently flat. No backstory. No wife to care for. No missing child in the oceans depths. While Melville went OVERboard on the interior monologue...you have avoided the thing that makes a character memorable. If Fitzgerald gets mutilated who will mourn?
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Hello Tommy, I’m not familiar with the Gordon Lighfoot song. However my intention of this short story was not character development or to make people pity the characters in the story. But rather to focus on the other surrounding details of the story to try and provoke a feeling fear and hopelessness that could be relatable to anyone in that situation
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The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald
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Lyrics
The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down
Of the big lake they called Gitche Gumee
The lake, it is said, never gives up her dead
When the skies of November turn gloomy
With a load of iron ore twenty-six thousand tons more
Than the Edmund Fitzgerald weighed empty
That good ship and true was a bone to be chewed
When the gales of November came early
The ship was the pride of the American side
Coming back from some mill in Wisconsin
As the big freighters go, it was bigger than most
With a crew and good captain well seasoned
Concluding some terms with a couple of steel firms
When they left fully loaded for Cleveland
And later that night when the ship's bell rang
Could it be the north wind they'd been feelin'?
The wind in the wires made a tattle-tale sound
And a wave broke over the railing
And every man knew, as the captain did too
T'was the witch of November come stealin'
The dawn came late and the breakfast had to wait
When the gales of November came slashin'
When afternoon came it was freezin' rain
In the face of a hurricane west wind
When suppertime came, the old cook came on deck sayin'
"Fellas, it's too rough to feed ya"
At seven PM, a main hatchway caved in, he said
"Fellas, it's been good to know ya"
The captain wired in he had water comin' in
And the good ship and crew was in peril
And later that night when his lights went outta sight
Came the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald
Does any one know where the love of God goes
When the waves turn the minutes to hours?
The searchers all say they'd have made Whitefish Bay
If they'd put fifteen more miles behind her
They might have split up or they might have capsized
They may have broke deep and took water
And all that remains is the faces and the names
Of the wives and the sons and the daughters
Lake Huron rolls, Superior sings
In the rooms of her ice-water mansion
Old Michigan steams like a young man's dreams
The islands and bays are for sportsmen
And farther below Lake Ontario
Takes in what Lake Erie can send her
And the iron boats go as the mariners all know
With the gales of November remembered
In a musty old hall in Detroit they prayed
In the maritime sailors' cathedral
The church bell chimed 'til it rang twenty-nine times
For each man on the Edmund Fitzgerald
The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down
Of the big lake they called Gitche Gumee
Superior, they said, never gives up her dead
When the gales of November come early
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A significant narrational improvement over your other stories this week. Nature defeats a small collection of ice-breaking representatives of civilization. However, you give us little reason to become interested in the life of Fitzgerald, other than mentioning that he feels fear and horrifically dies. Having had some dialogue between him and his men, even if it were humorous banter despite the looming threat, would've had lent Fitzgerald (and his men) more humanity and made his death tragic, rather than matter of fact.
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