The Girl and the Fox Philosopher

“What’s happening with your face?” A soft male voice asks suddenly out of thin air. 

A young girl, no older than fourteen, is sitting at the base of a large redwood tree crying. She’s in the woods that border the backyard of her home, surrounded by many redwood trees and fern moss growing along the floor and on the roots. 

The girl looks up, looking around her in haste to find where the voice has come from. She sees nothing around her but trees and shrubs. It’s only when she looks down, to lay her head back on her knees; that she notices a small and fluffy orange, white bellied fox sitting near her. It’s small ginger colored eyes seem full of curiosity and wonder. 

“Was that you just now?” She asks the fox tentatively before shaking her head with a laugh, “Of course not, animals can’t talk.”

The foxes eyes narrow slightly, almost as if in annoyance, “You know, you humans would be amazed by the things you can hear, if you just take the time to really listen.”

The young girl's eyes widened in surprise, “Wha-, are you magic? Am I?”

At this moment, a quiet sweeping wind passes. Making the branches dance and sway, almost making the woods come alive as the rustling of leaves fill the quiet space. The crunch of a broken twig calls both of their attention to a deer, a short distance away. 

“No, no. I’m just a fox. And I think you are just a girl. One who isn’t very good at answering questions either. What’s this?” He asks again, leaning toward her face. The girl scrunches her nose slightly and tilts her head, wondering what he’s talking about. A tear slides off the side of her cheek. The foxes eyes narrow and quickly turn to watch the stray tear fall. 

“This?” The girl asks, wiping the rest of her tears away and presenting them on her fingertips, “These are tears. Don’t you ever cry?”

“Cry? No, never.” And the fox seems to puff out his chest slightly, which makes the girl laugh.

“My name is Claire, do you have a name?”

“Yes, I’m called Koda.”

“Koda,” Claire says slowly, testing the name on her tongue, “It’s nice to meet you. What are you doing here?”

“Well I need your help.” 

“My help? How can I help you?” 

Koda sighs, and looks down at the mossy floor, “My brother, he’s missing.”

Claire’s eyes widen and she frowns lifting her hand slowly, moving to pet Koda on the head. He locks in on the sudden movement of her hand, but doesn’t move away. He waits for her to place her hand gently on his head, and sighs happily as she pets him. 

“Will you help me look for him? I haven’t found anyone else to help. The rabbits, chipmunks and badgers are mad at my brother for always playing pranks. They think this is just another one, but I know it’s not. It’s already been two days.” The fox explains after a few moments, relishing the warmth of her hand and her kindness. 

The girl looks to her left, and stares at the long trail that leads back to her backyard. She sniffs and looks back at Koda with a smile, “Of course I’ll help you.”

Koda jumps around happily and with relief. He wouldn’t admit it aloud, but he’s quite scared. It’s just him and his brother, they travel all around and haven’t separated in years. He’s worried about his brother, and like most, doesn’t like to be alone. 

“Follow me, I’ll show you our house and then the trail he left behind. There’s a certain point where I can’t track him anymore, as if he just went poof or flew away. Maybe you’ll see something I don’t.” 

Claire nods, and stands up quickly to match Koda’s quick trot. He moves slightly ahead of her deeper into the woods. Claire looks around as they go, trying to remember the way back. Though, the trees lose their individuality when staring at them for too long. The sun breaks through whatever open space it can find, encasing the soft green of the grass in a soft golden light.

The two walk in silence for a long time, Claire enjoys the crunch of leaves and twigs under her feet, the sound drowns out some of her thoughts and Koda enjoys the company. Soon, the two come to a small ravine with a bridge connecting one side to the other.

“I haven’t come this far before.” Claire says suddenly and her step falters. 

Koda stops and looks up at her, sniffing the air, “Will you get in trouble?” He asks, worried. 

Claire pauses and then shakes her head, “No, I don’t think my parents will even notice anyway.” She crosses the bridge almost defiantly, her head raised high and her hands swinging in fists by her side. Koda tilts his head and watches her. He follows after her quickly and resumes his spot in front. 

“Is that why you were crying earlier?” Koda asks in almost a whisper. 

Claire nods her head, but doesn’t automatically reply. Koda stares at her from the corner of his eye, and moves to walk beside her. Bumping his head against her hand every once in a while to make her smile. 

“My parents are getting a divorce... They just don’t love each other 

anymore.” Claire finally says as they pass another horde of trees. 

“What’s divorce?” Koda asks. 

“It’s when your parents don’t want to be together anymore.” 

“I’m sorry Claire, that must not be nice.”

“Everything’s changing.” Claire admits. 

There aren’t many things that scare Claire. Not spiders, or the dark, but change... Change is something that can either be good or bad, and this change didn’t feel good at all. Everything felt foreign, her home wasn’t a home. It was like a field covered in hidden landmines, and sometimes Claire held her breath in an attempt to keep from aggravating the mines even in the slightest. These days the landmines were always so loud and angry.

“What about your parents Koda?” 

Koda stops suddenly and Claire wonders if she shouldn’t have asked, but notices Koda walking toward a wide hole near one tree. A foxes den.

“This is our home. I think you’re too big to fit. Maybe you can fit your head.” Koda says with a laugh and races into the hole, Claire smiles and runs after him. She stops suddenly and crouches down to peek inside the hole. It’s full of dirt and leaves but is rather spacious. Claire notices some small animal bones in a corner. 

“Nice place Koda.” Claire nods upside down in approval. 

Koda gives a toothy grin and settles onto a soft bed of leaves and purple bell flowers, white oleanders and blue pansies. He sniffs the air, and looks around almost longingly.

“Funny how small a place can feel when you’re all alone in it. Cold even. Space was meant to be filled, with love and laughter. Too much space can be suffocating.”

“Is it scary at night Koda?”

“Sometimes. But it’s kind of scary all the time don't you think, because of the unknown.”

“The unknown?”

Koda lifts his head and walks over to Claire, their noses almost touching. He circles around her head before speaking, “You’re turning a funny color.”

Claire quickly lifts her head out of the hole and her head spins for a while, she moves against the bark of the tree to sit against it. Koda jumps after her and sits next to her.

“All the blood rushed to my head.”

“Are you okay now?”

“Yeah… Koda, what’s the unknown? Is it like a monster in these woods?”

Koda laughs watching Claire search all around them, “No. It’s not really a monster. The unknown is just all the things that can happen in life, every possibility. Good or bad, our choices lead us to many different paths in life, and sometimes we never know if it’s a good or bad path until it’s too late.”

“Seems like a set up.”

“Maybe, I think they’re just things we have to learn. They’re so many creatures in the world, we can’t possibly know what makes them all tick. Or the way they’ll respond to us. You asked me earlier about my parents, the way some humans respond to us is by hunting us. There are others who respond with kindness,” Koda bumps his head against Claire’s arm and she smiles, “The same goes for the deer. The same goes for man.”

“I’m sorry about your parents Koda, humans can be…”

“Brutal, selfish, violent?” Koda offers, Claire looks away and frowns with a nod.

“Yes, yes, they can be all these things. But they are also capable of kindness, gentleness and goodness. But it’s all a choice, we choose who we are.”

Suddenly, a loud rustling is heard a foot away by a large shrub. It’s moving wildly and Koda jumps out in front of Claire protectively. She looks around for any type of large branch. Suddenly, the sun catches bright orange and a fox jumps on Koda. 

“Koda! My brother, I’ve been looking for you everywhere.” Koda stops struggling against the heavy weight on him and stills.

“Brother? Kona? Where have you been? Claire, look, he’s back!”

Claire smiles wide but doesn’t try to move, she notices Kona is staring at her, holding his breath.

“She’s okay Kona, relax. She was helping me look for you.” Kona relaxes, and stalks over to Claire. He smells her hand and her clothes and huffs, sitting next to her but keeping a close watch on her out of the corner of his eye. Koda lays on his back in front of Claire.

“There were hunters a few nights ago Koda, I heard them and was able to draw them away before you woke up. They didn’t quit for a while, that’s why it took me so long to come back home. I’m sorry for leaving. I wanted to protect you.” Kona explains. 

“Are you hurt?” Claire asks suddenly. Kona shakes his head.

“Just tired, I’m getting old. I managed to climb a tree once to evade them for a while though.” 

“Maybe that’s when I lost your scent. I’m glad you’re okay Kona.” Koda thinks aloud. He remembers running through the woods until the scent of his brother went up toward the sky, and Koda knew his brother definitely couldn’t fly. 

“Wait, I’ve seen you before. You’re the girl always sitting alone in the woods.” Kona says suddenly. Claire nods.

“Have an unknown on your hands? My brother’s always talking about the unknowns, you make the same face he does when he's worried about something.” 

Claire doesn’t speak at first but nods, “My parents are getting a divorce, I don’t know what will happen now. Nothing feels right.”

“What’s a divo-” Kona begins to ask before Koda interrupts him. 

“It’s when your parents don’t want to be together anymore.” Koda says, repeating what Claire said to him earlier. 

“Hm… Sorry. That is a big unknown, isn’t it.”

“The choices we make, aren’t always easy. But sometimes they’re necessary. Even if they don’t make much sense right now.” Koda says suddenly, looking up to the trees and catching rays of the sun. 

“So maybe this is for the best?” Claire whispers, not really registering the words.

“Maybe, sometimes we get so caught up in anger or our expectations, and we end up becoming the versions of ourselves we worked so hard to escape from; because we settled or just became content. Sometimes letting something go, is better than trying to beat it to come alive again.”

“There he goes again, Kodaus the philosopher.”

“Oh, can it Kona!”

Claire can’t help but to laugh, and Koda snuggles closer to her. 

“What you feel now is part of the unknown, the fear. The anxiousness and gray. But you know what that means?”

Claire looks down at him and shakes her head, gently petting under his chin. 

“It means you’re here, and you feel. It means you have living to do and lessons to learn. It means change is not always pretty, but it leaves room for growth and resilience.”

Claire stares up into the tops of the trees, and enjoys the light breeze now fanning her face. She closes her eyes and suddenly feels like shes floating, then she hears a muffled voice. Calling for her.

When she opens her eyes to see if the voice is Koda's, she finds she’s in the same spot she was when Koda first came to her, but in her hand is a flower from the foxes den. A simple white oleander. She looks up and hears her father’s voice coming closer as he searches for her. 

“Come visit us again sometime.” A voice whispers to her in the wind and she smiles.

“Thanks Koda.” She whispers back and runs into her father’s waiting arms.

“We’ve been looking everywhere for you.” He says gently. She hugs him tighter and he settles into a sitting position with Claire leaning on him.

“I know why you’ve been gone. I’m sorry Claire, about mom and me always fighting. You know we love you so much, things are just…” He trails off, unable to say what the problem is. To say it aloud, makes it all the more real.

“I know you're getting a divorce dad... But I know it's apart of the unknown.”

“The what?” Her father asks with a soft chuckle.

“You know, it’s all the things that can happen in life, every possibility. Good or bad, our choices lead us to different places. This is just another choice to make. I don't think we ever stop choosing. Where to go, who we are, who we stay with. Sometimes, maybe where we are isn't where we're suppose to be. No matter how safe it is.”

“When did you get so wise kid?” Her father asks and grabs her in a tight hug.

“Life’s been teaching me. You’d be surprised what you hear and learn, if you just take the time to really listen.” Claire says with a sigh, looking down at the oleander in her hand. Feeling lighter than she has in weeks.