My Grandmothers Secret

We sat around the fire as the ambers burned late into the evening. My grandmother was in the kitchen over the stovetop baking her famous sweet bread, we never had much but I always knew she made us feel special with her home cooking. My grandmother was a soul woman, she believed that her baking was a way of giving us love in a way that was not materialistic. She brought us hope with her prayers as she sat around the fire with my brother and I she sang... this little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine, this little light of mine I’m going to let it shine, she continued to braid my long black hair as the sweet bread in the oven started to smell. I woke up, it was hard to believe I was sleeping it all felt so real, just like it was yesterday and grandma was still around. I got up and looked in my kitchen I can remember baking and laughing with her she always told me all the ingredients. I pulled out a bowl and started to mix the dough for the sweet bread my heart sank as I realized she wasn’t around anymore I looked down at my bracelet as I wiped a tear from my eye. She had given me her gold bangle that she made from back home in the islands, right there I was reminded she always said she would be my guardian angel and watch over me smiling. I then had to figure out the rest of the recipe but I knew I was missing something maybe it was the love that she always put into it I stood back from the counter and looked at the dough, I started to sing this little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine, let it shine, let it shine. I then watched the dough raise as I laughed thinking its just like how she would have wanted me to make it. She always put her heart and soul into her food it was her love language. She believed in showing love through her giving. I set aside the dough to rise as I rise my hands under cold water I started to think of her again and how happy she made my childhood, my heart sank again as a tear dropped down my cheek I walked over to our mantle where her photo album laid I picked it up and walked over and sat on the kitchen floor waiting for the dough to rise I opened the album and scanned the photos as my tears took over me. I began to think about her love even more. I got up wiped my tears and rolled out the dough and out it in the baking pan. Brushing it with sugar and melted butter just like she would have I placed it in the oven. I smiled then praying that she would have been proud of me. She was my life, my soul all I wished was that she was here with me to enjoy this moment. I then facetimed my brother to show him and he smiled “ is that grandmas sweet bread recipe? Yes I replied. Just like how she would have made it. It was always just us three and so she spoiled us rotten. She loved us more than we could ever understand as kids, she put her heart and soul into everything she did for us she loved us just like Jesus loved, it was so unconditional. She gave us the gift of life abundant, she showed us true love. This was all we could ever want, need or ask for. I started to smell the bread as it was done in the oven I smiled golden brown on top with the sugar crystallized around the edges. I slowly cut into it. My favourite part was smearing butter and guava jam on it. I took a single bite and it brought me right back to my childhood. I just couldn’t believe how I remembered her recipe. One thing I will never forget is her love. So genuine, so kind, so unconditional. I pray that someday I could share this very recipe with my children and teach them exactly what my grandmother taught me. She had faith no matter the situation that God would come through, he would provide for us, shelter us. This bread was the sweetest thing I’ve ever tasted. Not because it was made with sugar but because of the love she put into it. I invited my brother over and cut him a slice and he smiled with joy he was reminded of the very blessing she was also in his life. I was able to recreate something in our lives that was such a pivotal teaching in both of us. To appreciate each and every single thing we have no matter if we don’t have the money we have each other, we have family. Her sweetbread was a hit in so many people’s lives she would always bake more than one and share, as I said her love language was giving. My grandmother was a faithful woman not only to God but to her family she instilled things into us that I hope some day I’m able to instill into my children. Her love that was put into her food was what made her recipes so amazing. I pray that someday I’ll see her in heaven smiling because she was a woman who made me feel unconditionally loved. She will never be forgotten for the way put love into everything. I then cleaned up the dishes and sat on the couch as I imagined being near the fire again as she braided my hair, I then dozed off and started to dream once more. I saw her smiling in the clouds of a blue sky, she was watching me, protecting me. My little light, I will shine because of her.