Where it all began

She fiddled with a flame, flicking it between her fingers like a magician with a coin. The bright kaleidoscope of reds and oranges reflected in her slate eyes as she glanced up at the chestnut mare that was pawing the ground, anxious to keep moving.

“Easy Fyn,” Pen reassured, as she leaned back against the massive oak whose leaves were temporarily giving her respite from the drizzling rain. She dispelled the small flame with a sigh, flexing the cold dampness out of her long graceful fingers.

Fyn whinnied as if in disagreement with her flippancy and continued to graze at the grass that was just peaking through the thawing soil.

Pen was a fireborn. She could command flame to do incredible things, and although it was a very handy and rare ability, it was also a very dangerous one. She was well into her 20^th year, and still learning how to control it.

As a kid, Pen was heavily bullied for being tall and lanky, and often accidentally set small fires, which was more than enough to make the narrow-minded people in town dislike and mistrust her. Even worse, no one in her family had her ability or even understood it, and they quickly grew to hate her for it.

In her 13^th year, a small band of older boys and girls followed Pen home from school, taunting her and throwing rocks, many which hit, leaving bruises and small cuts. Heart racing, Pen attempted to ignore them like she had been instructed by her parents. They had been very clear about the punishment she would receive if she caused ‘trouble’ in town. They always referred to her fires as ‘trouble’, as if saying the words might cause her to combust.

But the kids were persistent, and the rocks got bigger and bigger. Pen put her hands up to protect her face and started to run. She could feel her temperature dangerously rising.

Suddenly, Pen felt a painful jolt at the back of her head as one of the girls reached out and grabbed her long trailing chestnut hair, instantly yanking her off her feet and falling to her back, knocking the air out of her. Through the stars that had formed in her vision, she could see the big tanned face of the girl laughing over her.

Pen lost control as anger and pain replaced the fear she had felt a moment before. The fire gates opened, pouring radiant flame all over Pen’s body and engulfing the girl that stood over her.

The kids instantly stopped laughing and started screaming. Pen scrambled to her feet, flames subsiding, and heard a loud thump to her left as the girl who was on fire keeled over. Without looking back, Pen ran as hard as she could until she was safely in her room. She collapsed on her bed, trembling all over and head pounding. She was going to be in so much trouble.

To Pens amazement, her parents didn’t mention it at all. It was on the lips of everyone in town except them. Pen had nearly burned a person to death, and they acted as if it didn’t happen. It was not like her parents at all.

Instead of being happy at this, Pen felt horrible. The girl had suffered severe burns and lost the use of one eye, and Pen was responsible. Pen never wanted to hurt anyone. She hated knowing that she did. She just didn’t know how to control the fire that lived within her.

A fortnight after it happened, Pen’s parents told her they were taking her to see a master fireborn who was rumored to live across the sea. They stated it so matter of factly that Pen didn’t argue it or ask questions, she only nodded.  

That night Pen packed a bag as full as she could with clothes a few books, a journal and a few pens, and a blanket. She didn’t know how long they would be gone, so she threw in a warm hat and scarf just in case. Looking around her room she decided to leave her collection of rocks and her few stuffed bears, but she grabbed her book full of pressed plants in case she came across some new ones to add.

Despite feeling like her parents weren’t happy to go, she was glad to be getting some space from the town that hated her more than ever. She felt so bad about what she had done but there was nothing she could do except apologize, which was not possible due to the family ignoring her. It was a good time for a trip.

Pen got ready for bed and crawled in the familiar blankets; she’d never seen the ocean before.

It took five days on horseback to reach the coast. Her parents quickly found a ship taking passengers and Pen was immediately ushered on board and into a private room. Her mom put a large leather bag on the side table and told her they were going to square away things with the captain, and she instructed Pen to stay put.

Pen looked around the small space. A small wooden bed with a thin mattress took up the majority of the room. A square tan table was immediately beside it and a squat wooden desk sat up against the end. Except for a few blankets, there were no other furnishings or decor. Pen wandered to the single round window that was straight ahead of her. She had a great view of the massive dock and the few buildings that stood alongside. There was a bustle of people trying to roll barrels up the two planks of the ship and there were many larger crates being pulled onto the boat using some sort of winch system. It was unlike anything Pen had ever seen before.

The smell of water was the most amazing thing, salty but fresh in a way she didn’t think was possible. The slight rock of the boat was definitely something to get used to but the sound of the water gushing between the dock and boat was almost as heavenly as the smell, it was somehow just loud enough to erase all the negative thoughts swirling through her head, but not too loud as to be noisy. She instantly had the urge to write in her journal.  

A few hours later, Pen was moving on to her fifth page of writing when she heard a knock at the door. She opened it, expecting her parents but instead came face to face with a small bald man.

“ Hiya lass, I’m Dune.” He smiled warmly. “The Captain wanted me to tell you that the cook is serving supper in the cabin above.”

Pen taken aback by the stranger standing in front of her quickly replied, “My mom said to stay put so I should wait until she comes back.”

The man tilted his head quizzically, and paused for a moment, allowing the realization of what she said to set in. Looking away embarrassed Dune muttered, “I’m not one for this kind of stuff. I think you should talk to the Captain, lassie.”

Pen started to feel uneasy. She ran over to the small round window in her room to see nothing but ocean. Her eyes darted back and forth across the horizon, panic setting in.

“The port has been out of view for over an hour,” came the gentle ring of a new voice.

Pen swiveled around to see the tall muscular form looming behind Dune who was tiny in comparison. The man had eyes as bright as the ocean and long hair the color of the sun. He was tanned from many years on the ocean and he had a thin blonde layer of stubble creeping over his chin.

Dune gave a curt sympathetic nod to Pen before continuing down the hall.

The tall man took a commanding step forward and stretched out his massive hand. Now that he was closer, Pen could see he wasn’t very old. Not even as old as her parents.

“I’m Captain Lookwake and I hear you are headed to Myralidia.”

Pen stood transfixed for a moment, eyes moving from his face to his hand.

With a wavering voice she crossed her arms and asked, “Where’s my parents?”

The captain dropped his hand and gave a pitying look to Pen before he softly said, “I didn’t realize they hadn’t told you, but they only paid for one person.”

Pen couldn’t believe it, she stood still, eyes unblinking and mouth slightly agape.

Captain Lookwake cleared his throat, and finished the spiel he had pre-planned, “It’s a two-week journey to Myralidia and the weather should hold.  There’s a strong headwind approaching so it may slow us up a bit, but I expect we will be able to make up the time. Feel free to go anywhere on the ship except my quarters of course, that’s off limits to everyone but me.”

Pen could feel the tears silently streaming down her face.

She was completely numb. Her parents had left her alone on a boat with people she didn’t know, looking for a person she didn’t know how to find, or even if they existed. She didn’t know what they expected her to do if she found this person or even how to get home. “This can’t be happening.” She whispered.

Captain Lookwake stood uncomfortably. “I’ll give you some time to process. There’s always food in the kitchen when you are ready for it.”

With a nimbleness she wouldn’t have though possible for a man so big, he quietly backed out of the room and closed the door.

Pen didn’t know what to do. Her eyes darted around the room and came to rest on the weathered bag her mom had left. Legs heavy as led, she slowly made her way to the table where it sat.

Her hands glided over the familiar leather and she tossed open the flap, eyes blurry from the fresh wave of tears threatening to take her. At the very top laid a folded piece of paper.

With shaking hands Pen lifted the note and unfolded it as she gulped down the tears, focusing her eyes. It read:

              Don’t come back. Its time you moved on.

Pen collapsed to the floor, body hot, and sobbed uncontrollably. Her parents didn’t just send her on a trip, they dumped her. They put her on this ship so she had no way of following them home. They didn’t want her. It was all too much for Pen to process. She cried on the floor until her room became dim from the setting sun.

Suddenly exhausted, she found her way into the small bed and pulled the blankets over herself until she was nestled up in a warm cocoon.

She was alone now.