Purgatory

It was … monday.

“Monday again!”, John was in a foul mood. John’s mood was a 9 to 6, 40 hours a week mood, minus the 60 minutes when it switched from foul to predatory. He packed his lunch.

It was a Monday!

“I need to have a chat with some of the boys today, we’ve been lacking in responsiveness lately, I wonder what’s up with that?!” John grabbed his jacked and out he went to save his little corner of the world this Monday.

He lived a ways off from the subway but the walk always soothed him, helped him prepare, gave him a chance to get used to that knot in his stomach.

He ran down the stairs hearing the train, pulled out his wallet and wrestled with it for the ticket. His bag was flapping as he sped towards the receding doors. He caught himself just in time to see an elderly gentlemen swear under his breath in surprise.

The train left the station.

“Great!” things looked promising, “I’ll be graced with a sermon now ‘John, it’s very important that we take our responsibilities seriously, responsible and accountable, we boys need to be both responsible and accountable’ ahaaa!” He started scanning for a place to sit. That knot jabbed at him a little more and then, it went for his throat. “Oh, no!”

He was standing in the middle of the platform. His hand went instinctively for his collar, ‘why did he have to wear a tie today?’ His eyes scanned the surroundings, a fox frozen in mid flight, a bead of sweat rolled close to his ear. It tickled!

‘Did he notice him?’ The thought struck at him with voracity. It felt as if the station closed in on itself as beads of sweat started rolling at the nape of his neck, a shiver followed. “Why, why, why, why, why?!” A smile screwed itself on his lips, his stomach quivered, panic shredded him.

‘Why was it so hot?’ his eyes darted from left to right, the barrel of the shotgun staring straight at him, he hated that fake smile. His feet started moving on their own, the bag flapping at his side. His head turned towards it and he started fumbling with the latch, panic twitching his fingers. “Why, why, why, why?!” He managed to close it and looked up. He was the definition of cool.

A sliver of hope struck him, racing behind his eyes were rosy possibilities, two steps to his right was a large marble pillar. He felt his muscles tense. Stepping jerkily forward he checked his smile, it was still plastered there. His stomach churned.

His walk turned glide as he moved forward, flowing gracefully, his bag gently swaying at his side. He was the definition of cool as he advanced, left, right, heel to toe, the sound of his shoes hitting the marble floor. As he closed in on his adversary this morning, he finished his performance with a flurry, extending a right arm purposefully.

The move made him drop his smile a quarter of an inch, that muscle twitched, pulling on the other end with righteous force, wracking his brain.

“Hi, John!” the other man announced.

“Uhm, Hi.” more whimper than greet.

“You’re early this fine morning!”

Twitch! “Yeah, I…” softly, smile broadcasting neatly on his face, “I’ve been having trouble sleeping lately” He swallowed expectantly, a half beat of silence screamed in panic, “I…”

“You know what you should do?! You should try to exert yourself before going to bed, aaaaaaaah, try to do some exercises or something before going to sleep” fidget, “That’s what my doctor always tells me, ‘if you’re having trouble sleeping it means you’re not tired enough’”

twitch! “Yeah, it’s,” his ears perked up, picking up the sweet screech of metal grind and the soft whoosh. Salvation.

The cold air rushed through him taking his hopes along, racing to greet the incoming train. Fine hairs next to his ear came to life, lubricated by the cooling beads, they picked the electricity in the air and pumped it deep into his skull. He turned around towards the sound and the bag swayed. Salvation!

“It’s the waking up that’s the difficult part actually.”

“Aaah, my boy, you should tire yourself better in that case, like I said, try to do some exercises, some push-ups maybe” his chest swelling as he captured some of that rushing air, “those always tire me out quite nicely.”

“Yeah, it’s,”

The train pulled up in its agonizing screech and the doors hissed open. A chorus of footsteps erupted as people shuffled from within while others danced their way into the free spaces of the car.

“Do you want to sit down?”

“No, no. You can sit if you want.”

“Uhm, no.”

“So…, you should try push-ups.” eyes piercing, ‘what was he hiding?’

“No, it’s, it’s my stomach. I wake up with stomach aches. Mondays are the worst actually.” His hand felt the need to protect. The beads were rushing again, he felt his back become hot.

“Aaah, then you should watch what you eat, I see that you brought your lunch again, you know eating sandwiches will do that to you. I remember when I was your age, my mother always used to drone me everyday about what to eat and how to do it. Aaaaah, don’t eat too fast, Aaaaah, don’t eat junk food. That’s what she always said! And she was right you know, after I started to watch what I eat and how I do it I didn’t have issues with my stomach as much.”

Twitch!! ‘you’re one year older than me,’ twitch, “Actually, I’m having vegetable soup and chicken and rice today.” The smile reached his left eye. The lights in the train car dimmed.

“Oooh, I’m sorry then.” the smile exposed his teeth in a warming manner. ‘Did the lights just dim?’

The swoosh of the tunnel became a bit louder. Lights were passing them regularly on either side. The car swayed gently. They both felt the rumble pass through them, tensing and relaxing as their weight shifted.

“Do you always cook your meals?”

“Yes!”

‘Hmmmm!’,“Then why the stomach aches? You’ve always had these issues?” hurriedly.

“No, no, only lately.”

Swoosh, swoosh. Swoosh, swoosh.

The train pulled into the next station and passengers started shifting around in a droning fashion, purposively, actively, blindly, narcissistically. ‘Fools!’ they both thought.

John’s eyes scampered about, whimsically, curious. He felt his pocket for the phone but decided otherwise after gasping its sweet, sweet reassurance.

His companion on the other hand had whipped it out and was checking something intently. “Need to rearrange some of my meetings today, that train wasn’t supposed to be missed, you know?”

“Yeah, aaah, sorry?” and his eyes scanned around some more, his jaw relaxed with a pop.

The commute was soothing now, everyone on the train was engrossed in their little bubble, watching, checking, longing. Some quiet chats could be heard from one corner or another. Train station after train station, passengers got on, passengers got off, lights were passed, announcements were made.

“Did you do anything interesting this weekend?” the screen was still being scanned intently.

“Sorry?” he pulled one of the ear buds, a base guitar made itself heard then, prying the monotony away.

“Me and some of my boys got together for a football match on Saturday, it was pouring outside but that made it even better. Rick was there, with some of the boys from the team. You play?” fingers were tapping away vigorously under his nose. His chest puffed up again, but was cut short by the tickle next to his ear. ‘Really?!’

“Really? that’s nice,” he pried away the second bud. “No, not lately. I used to play basketball in high school but haven’t really thought about it since coming here, didn’t really find anyone to play with either,” smiling.

“Oooh, so… Did you do anything this weekend?” fingers went tap, tap, tap surgically. He gulped through his tie.

“The usual, shopping, met with some friends. Found this great book, actually I had it on my shelf for some time now, I think I got it as a present or something but didn’t get the chance to look at it until one of my friends pointed it out to me.”, ‘Why am I sweating?’

“What’s it about?” tap, tap, tie, tap.

“I’ve never come across the idea before, it’s a science-fiction book about VR. A future where technology evolved to a point where they moved human interactions mainly in the VR space, and because of this the social discrepancies are even … bla … bla … bla … bla.”

“Wait, what’s VR again?”

“Virtual reality.” he started rummaging for the book.

“Aaah, ok.” tap, tap, tap. “I don’t really care for reading, I read enough junk mail as it is.”

twitch. “Indeed,” twitch, “there wasn’t as much spam where I used to work before” he zipped up the backpack and slung it over his shoulder, accidently hitting the person behind. “Sorry!” as he turned around.

The train was catching up speed on its last haul to the end of the line. The train car became engulfed in a cacophony of voices as every hushed discussion was straining for survival. The hum became exhilarating, climbing faster and faster and then it dropped suddenly to complete silence. The worlds caught their breath suddenly, aware of what they’ve done, embarrassed smiles and chuckles rippled into existence ping-ponged by the ambushing breaks.

“End of the line” the security guard announced. Herding the passengers out, scowling intently at those who ignored the importance of the announcement.

Phone safely tucked in again, shoes started to hit the tiles with a crescendo. He was caught by the throng and pushed ever forward, no chance of turning back without interrupting the progressive flow, eyes scanned the faceless mass and gave a short nod when he found his target. The throng turned a sharp left, then a right and he hit a pocket of air just below the big staircase, where the two streams passed each other.

Once he was no longer alone he started climbing up the stairs, slowly. “So I’ve been looking at the results for the past week and we definitely won’t be hitting our targets this month. That’ll be the second month in a row already. And I really can’t understand what you boys aren’t doing right. Ben’s been helping you out with your requests, right?”

“Yes, he’s been very helpful, he’s even staid after hours with me a couple times.” he caught himself just as he was about to collide with a girl outside the station. She was pulling hastily on a cigarette butt. ‘Pretty!’ he thought, checking out her knee high skirt and loose blouse. He was rewarded with a scowl for his insolence.

“… and I’ve already received approval for the overtime you boys requested, aaaaaah, and I was working on a new training plan on Friday, which I’m sure will be approved as well. So you don’t have to worry, Maddie will praise us again for our drive, she always did say that we were one of the most responsible teams she’s worked with. Aaaaah ,and come bonus time, we’ll see that our hard work wasn’t for naught.”

“Yes, about that,” he pulled at his smile again with all his might.

“Hey, look! there’s Rick” as they approached the access gate. “Hi, Rick!”, ‘you golden haired angel, and such soft hands.’

“Hey, John! You played a mean game on Saturday.”

“Hey, Rick!” extending a hand.

“Hey, John! Bro, you up for a coffee?!”

“Yeah, let me drop my stuff first. I need to put my lunch in the fridge.”

“I’ll let you boys be then, enjoy that coffee! John, remember what we talked about, I’m counting on you!” he said looking over his shoulder as he sped to his cubicle, bag flapping.

“What was that about?”

“I don’t know, you saw him on Saturday? did he get hit in the head much?”

“Hah, no more than usual. Still got the aches?”

“Yeah, they’re even worse now.”

“Did you tell him about it?”

“Tried to, but too bad I didn’t borrow one of my mom’s skirts for the deed.”

“That bad?” as the machine was spilling out the last drops of coffee into the cup.

“How many times do you chew your food, Rick?”