Death By Impulse

As the flimsy, black smoke and the ripe, red flames rose from the harsh, poorly structured pyre, I watched as my lifeless body turned to ash. Four people standing by the wooden construction, grief-stricken, stared into the flames expectantly, hopeful that I would return.

But they will be disappointed. My spirit form is complete. As much as I wanted it, there’s no going back to them. I’m stuck in this solitary purgatory forever.

I’ve never had a family - not by blood at least. Those four girls were the closest thing I’ve had. We had each other. I walked by them, steadily grasping the weightlessness of my form. Klaire, the incessantly random one. Tears raced down her freckled cheeks as she stood still as if holding her breath.

Then there was Abigail, frail as ever, the know-it-all or as we called her: the smarty pants. Her undecipherable gaze started to break through as she embraced Klaire in a hug. Andrea, the funny and outgoing one in our little family, stood strong and tall, trying to distance herself from grief.

And finally, Ruby, the gutsy tomboy. Out of everyone here, she was the one I connected with the most. Her ability to make someone smile was second to none. Her fists were clenched and shaking, while a wave of bright, red anger plastered her face. “Why’d she have to do it?” She said, in a hefty mumble. “He didn’t deserve her.”

A sliver of regret unfolded in my mind as I stood beside her. ‘You need him more than you need me.’ I said to her, touching her arm. I knew she couldn’t hear me. She couldn’t feel me either. But her resentment was reaching me as I recalled the incident.

A blood-red painted the sky as the sun began to set. Hundreds, maybe thousands, of our dead carpeted our lands and yet, our fight was far from over. The Terra coven was winning and the Terra High Witch knew it. Our numbers were depleting by the second. Our intermediary fire magic was no match for their experienced coven.

Tired and defeated, the five of us found each other. Being the most studied and experienced out of all of us, Abigail lay a protective bubble over us. ‘That should give us some time.’ I thought to myself. But I was far from being right. We only drew attention to ourselves. A few members of their coven were heading straight for us.

“Gameplan, guys?” Andrea asked frantically, looking at the witches coming towards us. We huddled in.

“We can’t take them all on. There are maybe a couple hundred of us out there. And we don’t have any help. We need something big.” I reported, desperately trying to think of something. “Abi? Any ideas?”

Our attention was drawn to her when she didn’t respond. Her arms held out, she was struggling to hold our defense line against four Lumen witches who were shooting glowing balls of light at us. Klaire quickly grabbed Abigail’s hand, lending her more power.

“We don’t have time for this.” Ruby stated. “We need to fight.”

I looked around for any advantage points we could make something of. My gaze fell on Ayden, in the distance, running towards us. Most of him was drenched in blood and dirt. His otherwise glowing physique was now battered and bruised as he hurriedly limped towards us. My heart started pounding. He wasn’t going to last much longer.

I couldn’t focus on anything they were saying. We need him alive. I need him alive. He’s the only one that can save all of us from each other. At least, I hope that’s true.

“Guys, we’re losing it.”

“Remember that time,” I said, still looking in Ayden’s direction. “... we were trying to set a scarecrow on fire?”

Abigail replied, “Yeah, w-we burned the thing from the inside out and almost turned an entire farm to ashes. If you’re suggesting we do that now, you’re insane.”

“It is big.” Ruby argued.

“A-and it’s a plan.” Klaire stuttered under the pressure of the fading shield.

“And it’s the only plan we’ve got.” Andrea stated. “If we can do it once by mistake, I’m sure we can do it on purpose this time.”

The three of us stood facing the Lumen witches. I held my palm out, getting ready for the spell. Allowing my other hand to overlap, I closed my eyes, hoping this would work. One shot is all we have. I clenched my fists, allowing the power to release from a focal point.

On opening my eyes, I was faced with two retreating Lumen witches. “We d-did it.” Abigail managed to mumble before she collapsed to the ground, exhausted.

“Get her back.” Ruby instructed. “We’ve still got a lot of fighting to do. She won’t be able to stand it and we won’t be able to protect her.”

“I have to get to Ayden.”

Everyone stopped and turned their attention to me. “Kat, no.” Ruby pleaded. “Come on. You know he’s going to turn on us. He’s not worth it.”

“We need him.”

Andrea commented, disappointed. “No, we don’t, Kat. Just leave -” She looked past me, wide-eyed and gasped.

“What?” I asked, turning instantly. A Terra warlock pulled out his dagger from Ayden’s back. The warlock caught my stare and grinned. Holding Ayden by his collar, the warlock threw him down in one jerk-like motion. “No.” I managed to choke out.

Before anyone could object, I ran towards him. Using a similar spell on the Terra warlock, I cast it out, holding my hand out as I ran. My anger intensely focused on him, vaporized him almost instantly.

I got to Ayden’s lifeless body and just stared down at it, kneeling beside him. My heart sunk. I tried looking for any sign of life. A flinch. A breath. A pulse. Anything.

“Kat.” Ruby sighed. “He’s gone. We need to get somewhere safe.”

“We need him.” I stuttered between tears. I recalled one of the elder sayings: ‘Ayden Denoya. He will bring the truth. He is different, yes. He is not of our kind, true. But do not doubt his intentions. He fights for us and he will win for us… For us all. Friend and foe alike.’

I need to save him. If not for everyone, then for me. I shifted my position with haste, allowing myself to straddle on top of him. I placed my hands on his chest, near his heart. “Please work.” I mumbled to myself.

“Kat! Are you insane?” Andrea yelled, pulling my hands away. “You could die… for real this time.”

“I don't care!” I yelled back, my tear-stained face leaving her in pity. “I just need him to be okay. We all need him. You don’t believe me and that’s fine. But I want him alive.”

“Kat, please listen to her. There’d be no coming back. You don’t have to do this. That prophecy or whatever you heard is nonsense. We will find another way.” Klaire pleaded.

Andrea stepped back. I looked at them. ‘I could walk away from this.’ I looked back at Ayden. ‘But I can’t leave him.’ Glancing back at them, I muttered, “I’m sorry.” I pressed my hands together against his chest instantaneously, activating the spell.

I could hear the sighs and warnings, but nothing was going to stop this now. I focused everything I had on bringing him back. My thoughts. My emotions - worry, strife, sadness, fear. I threw it all in.

Everything was tearing apart and for a moment, I felt euphoric; I was on top of the world. Just for that one moment, everything was calm and clear. But it ended. Then came the pain. It felt like my body was physically fighting itself. Like my blood was literally boiling. My survival instincts kicked in and I involuntarily started fighting off the spell.

And suddenly, everything stopped. Ayden drew breath as I struggled to breathe. His eyes opened. I smiled as I caught a glimpse of his gorgeous blue eyes. The last thing I saw before everything went black.

For a moment, I thought I was going to walk away alive. It wouldn't have been the first time someone’s come back from it. Even as I watched them burn my body, I was hoping that the fire would bring me back, but it didn’t. A life for a life, I guess.

My choice. My decision. And now, I have to live with those consequences.

Withdrawing from my thoughts, I looked around, watching Klaire, Andrea, Abigail and Ruby walk away, disappearing into the trees. I wanted to go with them, but I’m bound to this place until my flame goes out. I turned back around to watch. 

I heard footsteps behind me. “Ayden?” I mumbled, happy to see him there. I only wish he could hear me. He looked well, despite the bruises and gashes that scarred his face and most of his arms. He was walking normally, to which I only assume that his limp healed. Yet guilt and grief were written all over his face.

He sighed, looking straight through me, at the pyre that was burning out. A rogue tear slid down his cheek. The look on his face filled me with regret. But I couldn’t leave them alone. Even though they hate him, they’ll learn.

His eyes welled up. I couldn’t bear to look at him anymore. He fell to his knees, gasping for breath, as his head hung low. He reached for his hoodie pocket, pulling out a small, white, velvety box covered in soot.

Flicking it open, he frowned. I gulped. A frail and golden ring sat comfortably in the center, holding a red, smooth gem. The both of us stared at it for a moment. I can’t believe he was going to -

And he had that -

I didn’t have the words to process what I was seeing. In one swift movement, he looked up, closed the box and tossed it onto the flaming pyre. Tears started rolling down his cheeks as he looked back down, eyes closed. Letting his arms fall, they surrendered to gravity, lifelessly hanging on by his sides.

Getting on my knees, I inched closer to his side. He opened his mouth to speak but hesitated. I threw my arms around him, knowing that he couldn’t feel it. It didn’t matter.

“Idiot,” He mumbled under his breath. I let go of him, just staring at him. No amount of words could express the misery I felt at that moment. I hoped it wouldn’t turn out this way, but it did. Pain consumed me. I wish I could just talk to him. Just hold him. He opened his mouth to speak once again, sighing heavily.

“They need us both.”