Open Session

Minutes for the Meeting on 4/14/2025 doc. by L. Root

Pre-Meeting:  Acknowledgment of C. Whitehall for bringing the snacks. C. Whitehall blushed. Questions about parking. Request to place questions about parking at the end of the meeting. Request made by G. Chives and approved by Chair Copson.

Closed Session Initiated

For notes from the Closed Session (doc. by L. Root) please send an email to L. Root at LRootMinutes.ClosedSession@cloudspot.com.

Closed Session Ended

Meeting Initiated - Open Session, Zero Members of the Public in Attendance

Alex Brandt shown in.

(Alex Brandt, or A. Brandt, in the context of these notes, is not considered a member of the public, as they were a guest invited to the meeting, although they are not a member of the board. If at any point there is a discussion about this, or these minutes are edited, that will be noted in the footnotes of the minutes.)

Welcomes

Chair Copson

Vice-Chair M. Butter

Secretary L. Root

Treasurer J. Butter

Members

G. Chives

C. Whitehall

End of Welcomes

Alex Brandt asked why they were invited today.

Chair Copson took the floor, so to speak (fig. of speech, noted).

Chair Copson requested the prepared documents from L. Root.

L. Root handed Chair Copson the prepared documents.

Chair Copson provided the prepared documents to Alex Brandt.

Alex Brandt quickly looked over the prepared documents then stopped.

Alex Brandt looked at the assembled board.

ALEX BRANDT:  You’ve been doing what?

Summation of the Documents Provided to Alex Brandt by Chair Copson on 4/14/2025 Prepared by L.Root

A group of people all had a dream that they should find one person and make that person’s life difficult.

They found each other on an online message board called “Dreams, Right?”

They agreed to form an organization in order to pursue the directive they were given in their dream.

One of them was incredibly wealthy.

Well, two, depending on your definition of wealth (The definition of “wealth” can be looked up in the dictionary, of course, but this is referring to how everyone views things like  value and money differently.)

The organization was funded primarily by the wealthiest member, and subsequently, in small increments, by the second wealthiest member.

An LLC was formed.

A board was organized

There was something of a conflict when the time came to choose a board chair.

(For more information on this, please email LRoot.BoardConflict@cloudspot.com)

The conflict ended.

The chair was chosen (Copson won by a single vote. See Notes. See email for notes.)

It was decided that a person would be chosen whose life would become more difficult.

Alex Brandt was chosen.

End of Summation

ALEX BRANDT:  But why?

CHAIR COPSON:  You cut off M. Butter in traffic.

(See “The Selection of Alex Brandt as the Individual” which was prepared and edited by L. Root. No digital copies are available, but a hard copy may be viewed in a secure location. Email LRootCopyofSelectionProcedure@cloudspot.com)

CHAIR COPSON:  They decided to follow you home. Once we had your address, we were able to attain all your other information, and we began to make your life difficult.

List of Activities Involved in Making the Life of Alex Brandt Worse Than It Already Is

1. Hiding mail
2. Signing up for various online newsletters
3. Driving very slowly in front of Alex Brandt (The Idea of M. Butter)
4. Taking a long time to order a coffee in front of Alex Brandt at coffee shops
5. Coughing behind Alex Brandt at a movie
6. Stealing Alex Brandt’s packages
7. Replacing the stolen packages with different packages filled with things of lesser value
8. Making lots of noise outside of Alex Brandt’s house at night
9. Befriending Alex Brandt’s friends in order to convince them that Alex Brandt is not a good friend and that Alex Brandt talks about them behind their backs, which may actually be true, but the subcommittee hasn’t reached a finding on that yet.

** Several Other Items That Can Only Be Discussed in Closed Session **

ALEX BRANDT:  All because I cut one of you off in traffic?

CHAIR COPSON:  Well, we had to choose somebody.

ALEX BRANDT:  My life has been horrible for years and it’s because of an LLC?

CHAIR COPSON:  Well--

ALEX BRANDT:  Formed by a bunch of weirdos who do everything their dreams tell them to do?

Commotion

G. CHIVES:  We don’t do everything our dreams tell us to do. This was a very vivid dream.

ALEX BRANDT:  You’ve been destroying my life over a--

M. BUTTER:  Don’t be so dramatic. I wouldn’t say your life is destroyed.

(Note that the definition of “destroyed” can be subjective.)

ALEX BRANDT:  I gave up drinking coffee because of you!

C. WHITEHALL:  That’s probably better for you anyway.

ALEX BRANDT:  Wait wait wait. Why are you suddenly letting me in on this? I could go to the police.

(Alex Brandt cannot go to the police. We’ve bribed the police. Alex Brandt can go to the police, but it would be like going to Old Navy to report a maritime incident. It might make sense on paper, but nothing will come of it.)

CHAIR COPSON:  May I have the prepared documents regarding why we’re telling Alex about all this now?

Why Alex Brandt Is Being Let In on All This prepared and edited (shoddily) by M. Butter, because L. Root was getting a root canal that day and everybody was so impatient, they couldn’t wait to have the documents prepared properly.

L. Root (begrudgingly) hands Chair Copson the documents.

Chair Copson hands the documents to Alex Brandt.

Alex Brandt reads them carefully.

M. Butter looks proud (no idea why).

Alex Brandt puts down the papers.

ALEX BRANDT:  You followed the wrong person?

Summation of (Poorly Prepared) Documents

Basically, M. Butter thought they followed Alex Brandt home, but recently, they were cut off in traffic again by a driver that looked very familiar, and they realized that on the day they were following Alex Brandt home, there were two blue cars in front of them, and they got distracted (probably texting and driving) and they ended up following Alex Brandt home instead of the driver they were meant to follow.

End of Summation

CHAIR COPSON:  So we’d like to apologize. You never should have had your life even marginally made worse.

ALEX BRANDT:  But what about my mail?

G. CHIVES:  We can return all that to you.

C. WHITEHALL:  And your packages.

J. BUTTER:  Except for the ones we threw in the ocean.

Alex Brandt then made several comments that would not be appropriate to write into these minutes, but an uncensored version can be requested by emailing LRootAlexBrandtTiradeUncensored@cloudspot.com)

Alex Brandt then exited the meeting.

Parking was discussed.

Meeting Adjourned (Chair Copson, M. Butter)