Lost with the Winds.

The dribblets of rain raced down the glass. I shifted to look at the ceiling. The ridges flowed into different shapes contorting into faces and images. I watched it turn and contort, going into a peaceful gaze, where it was just me and no one else.

Then the back door slammed. Parker came to the couch, propping herself up into the corner, her glasses falling halfway down her nose, blue eyes lacing her vacant expression as she typed into her phone.

I love to watch her like this, her hair messy around her face, no wedged shoes, so she barely comes to my chest, and a tablet or a phone in her hands.

She's perfect. Always knowing what she wants to be done, knowing how to get it, she enchants me with her mere presence. Everything about her is different and foreign, but after just a few days became familiar and warm.

People call her challenged, I think they just don't understand what she's about.

"Starr, stop staring, if you want cuddles you gotta come here." her voice rang out into the empty room. Her voice fills your heart, making you feel safe and surrounded, I put my head in her lap, just to get her hand on my forehead. She is nowhere near average, from her height, and personality, to her voice and the feelings she brings you.

Me on the other hand, I'm more average than anyone you've ever seen, from the color of my eyes to my height and voice, even my clothing options are average. The only thing that makes me different, it's something I do, I bend things to my will, I make air, and water move, along with the trees and flames, it's a curse. it's hard to control and it will just get me locked away. I hate it.

I hate the way my voice tries to stay flat, I hate the way I blank out every other minute, I hate the way my eyes look placated, I hate the way I can't tell anyone anything without guilt.

She's beautifully perfect, and I refuse to see a change.

I don't understand how someone so extraordinary, can love someone like me. So boring it's threatening.

******

The rain is pouring out here. My yellow rainboots caked with mud, I kick them against the garage, my jacket wasn't keeping me dry. I should have asked for help, Starr would have helped, I need to stop being so proud. Pride has gotten me nowhere, yet I refuse to let it go. The sky doesn't let me see an ounce of sun, I let out a roar of frustration, I wanted to get the dog pen up for when Penn has her puppies. I wasn't getting it done today. I marched up the low stairs, I let out a breath before opening the back door. I slipped my rain boot's onto the mat, my height diminishing, I grumbled as I pulled off my jacket. I snatched my phone from the kitchen counter, almost sliding on the hardwood floors. Starr was lying stretched across the couch.

I piled myself up in the corner and began writing into my journal.

Starr's eyes diverted themselves to me, I glanced away, her serene eyes always get the best of me, they're always calm. She is almost always quiet at home, my glasses slipped down the crooked path of my nose. I took the time to examine her sundress, it was a light blue with petals falling around her. Her cheery, positive demeanor, was a play up. If you take more than fifteen minutes to talk to her, you see her sarcastic, dark, and sometimes sad manor. She doesn't like to communicate.

If her eyes could, they'd hold the stars. She's been staring at me too long now, so I break the silence.

"Starr, stop staring, if you want cuddles you gotta come here." She puts her head into my lap, I place my hand on her head in acknowledgment. She sighs. I continue typing with my left hand.

I try to pull my sleeves down as little as possible, my arms are fine. I am not going to be a prideless bother to those around me just because I feel sad sometimes.

My hair falls into my eyes, I should cut it off, it's a bother, and I refuse to let my hair get beyond my shoulders.

My stupid blue eyes, too weak to do anything without help. I need a pair of glasses.

Starr sighs again. I look at her, her eyes are closed, her pretty blonde hair falls into her face. I leave it. Her face is so, so, ugh, I cannot describe it, the peacefulness she constantly puts up makes me feel as if nothing bad could happen in our little lives like the worst has already come.

I saw her use her powers once, it was such a deafening noise, to hear the pulsing of the earth, to feel the mist before you felt the rain, to watch the trees dance in unison, to see the waves battle their mighty battle. To see the flames build themselves up and up until they are a roar. It was beautiful. I don't understand how someone so extraordinary, can love someone like me. So average it's threatening.

**********

I hate how my people treat themselves, I love all of you, you're my people, from the little ones who run and push and shove, to the big ones who pet, and yell and play, I love you all yet, you treat yourselves like a squirrel, nasty and terrible, don't be like a squirrel, I love you and always will, even after I'm long gone. You will dance on in my memories until there are no others. Until I don't remember what a good girl and a bad girl is, or until I have no bladder control and I stop eating. I will love you both no reason to worry, you are my people, and since I tore up the couch this is my apology too. I am very very sorry I was a bad girl and ate a pillow, I should not have done that, the couch is nasty, and I will not do that again.