When We Were Together

When We Were Together

Somewhere in New York City, you are laughing. You are smiling with him, and you are happy. Remember when I was the person you were happy with? Remember that day out in the fields, when I was your one and only? They say home is where the heart is, but my heart belongs to you, yet you’re no longer my home. Darling, you and I were two injured souls, joined together like stitches until we broke open, and blood spilled out of our hearts. Even though it was all those summers ago, I still remember your smile, your warmth, your beauty. Home was when I was with you, but you’ve departed from me. Somewhere in the fields of our hometown, we were together.

I recall that the sun was shining, occasionally covered by the white clouds that you loved watching go by. You cried my name like I was the only person you ever needed, and in that moment, I was. I doubt you’ll ever feel that way again. It was just you and me in that meadow, our limits were endless as was our love. Until the storm clouds came, drenching our love as the rain began to pour. And it didn’t stop. Before long I was drowning. You jumped onto that lifeboat and didn’t even think about bringing me. Do you remember that, or do you see me as a mere wave? I build up, higher and larger, but by the time I’ve reached you, the shore, you’re gone. Our love was as vast as the ocean, but when you saw I was a shipwreck, you didn’t even think twice about me. I had become nothing more than the rocks sunken at the bottom of the sea. You only cared for the sand because he was perfect for you. He filled your ocean with fish and coral, but most importantly, life. Something I could never do. Somewhere in the ocean and in the storm clouds that cried for our love, we were together.

I remember how you smiled that afternoon. Like the world was right in your hands, and the world was me. But you dropped me, and I shattered like a crystal ball when you realised your fortune was terrible. I’m sorry I was terrible, I’m sorry I wasn’t your future, I’m sorry I wasn’t the fortune you wanted. I’m sure he’s the answer you were looking for. I’m certain he’s your fortune, crystal ball, and fortune teller because he has it all. He has you. The meadow was meant to be ours, that afternoon was supposed to be the start of everything. You loved me, and I loved you, but I guess we had different perceptions about us. Love was just a game to you, and I was a minor inconvenience in your way. Had I not been there, you would’ve found your happiness sooner. I’m sorry that our crystal ball broke, and it sent shards flying back in my face, but left you untouched. I hate how you’re happy with him when I could’ve made you happier. Somewhere in a fortune teller’s tent, maybe they’ll tell you that we were together.

Sometimes, your name comes up when I speak to old friends. They ask me where you are and why you’re not by my side. That day out in the fields, you were there. You promised you would always be there, but even you lie, darling. Why make a promise you know you weren’t going to keep? At times, I feel as though I was just another letter in your mailbox, but you were only accepting texts. I sent you roses, but he was your garden. I wore pretty clothes and tried to impress you, but he had beaten me to it. So when they ask me where you are, I smile and tell them you’re really happy, but you’re far away. I tell them you’ve moved on, and we weren’t meant to be. They say they’re sorry, but I reassure them it’s okay. Sometimes letters get stuck in the mail, and they get returned to their sender. Thank you for returning me, even though you hadn’t opened it. I’m sure you read all his letters and texts and reply to them like you used to do for me. Somewhere in the little post office across the park, there is a wall, and on that wall are our initials. A reminder that we were together.

My mother called me today asking how you were. I didn’t have the heart to tell her you were gone since you broke that. My heart was complete that afternoon in the meadow, and sometimes it still lingers. How could I be selfish by refusing you to go? Just like that, you were on the plane with him, flying far away from what we had. He flew you to his home because that’s where your heart is, and you forget about your luggage because you didn’t need me. You were starting anew. A wonderful trip to happy ever after because I wasn’t going to be there. I imagined I was the one taking you there. I figured that I was the pilot, and you were my passenger. I thought we would live happily ever after, walking around in love like kids. Perhaps that was just me. Your name will be on your luggage tag in my handwriting because I wrote it for you when we were together. 

Somewhere in New York City, you are laughing. You are smiling with him, and you are happy. Remember when I was the person you were happy with? Remember that day out in the fields, when I was your one and only? They say home is where the heart is, but my heart belongs to you, yet you’re no longer my home. Darling, you and I were two injured souls, joined together like stitches until we broke open, and blood spilled out of our hearts. Even though it was all those summers ago, I still remember your smile, your warmth, your beauty. Home was when I was with you, but you’ve departed from me. I loved you, and you left me there bleeding. Drowning. Shattered. Falling. Why did you do it? Why did you say you were in love, why did you tell me you adored me, why did you leave me? At the time, I thought we were all there was. I thought we were happy ever after. Then, on that afternoon in the meadow, you told me you were in love with him after our laughter and playing. Not me, it was never me. I look back, and I think, how could I have been so stupid? I reminisce about the last day of summer, and that you lied to me. Played with my feelings, broke my heart, and for what? For him to be your real ocean? Your crystal ball? Your plane ticket to love and happiness? I wish that was me. I’m sorry I ever thought it was. Somewhere in the fields of our hometown, we were together, but that’s probably just an afterthought to you now.