I Found Her

I run faster as my faux leather shoes can let me. I can feel its seams breaking, but that's not important right now.

The dog barked again. Dang--it is closer!

This slippery alley does not help. I have to run faste--

Ugh!

Oh, god. That slippery substance did not taste good.

Aaah!

The dog's gnawing at my leg, scratching and growling. Nobody's helping! Why are they just standing there?!

"Kiko! Stop it!"

Finally, someone.

"Bad dog! Bad, bad, bad!"

The dog is whining. Hopefully, this lady had hit him. I turn from the saucy pavement to look at my heroine.

Uhm...what? It is her--Karolina de Loca.

"No, no, no. Are you okay, boy?" She started touching my leg, which is not bleeding, by the way. But it still is hurting like heck. I crawl away from her.

"Hey--stop touching me, you dirty hag!"

"I am sorry for Kiko. He was just protecting me from you."

"From me?" I try to sit up. "You think I give a dang about you?"

"You were trespassing! Trespassing!"

This crazy hag is not making sense. What a waste of time. I need to get to work now.

"Your home is on the pavement. Of course, people will pass."

I try my best to stand up. Crap--I smell like rat piss. I should go back home to get changed. Ugh.

Karolina de Loca lunges at me and hit me with my bag.

"Hey!"

"Bad! Bad man! You can't take me away!"

I grab my bag from her and push her away. She falls on a pile of soggy cardboard boxes. She thrashes and growls, her long black hair flying around.

I spit at her. "Disgusting!"

I run back home, this time through another alleyway.

***

Oh, finally. Home.

I live alone, thankfully.

Today's work for the post office was a crap show. Too many letters were sent to people who are champions at ignoring them. That's right. Aside from the great start of my day, my whole day was filled with "Karens" shouting at me to get off their lawns.

Apparently, it is not just dogs who hate postmen.

Better start with dinner. My last meal was practically 6 hours ago.

This is weird, but this soup reminds me of her.

Karolina de Loca. 

Not her real name, of course. Just some alias the people call the unidentified hobo.

I know I was horrid to her earlier. I feel sorry now. 

I am not always that way. I am a gentle giant. I was one of the good boys at school. Girls flocked over me because they felt safe towards me.

I am not sure if that means I pose no sexual threat to them, or if I am just the type of guy who makes a good friend.

Anyway...

When your early years were filled with abandonment and abuse, you tend to do everything so the few people who actually like you will continue to do so.

Hey, I know I sound like a sociopath serial killer. Come on, I'm not. This is just...my reality. 

And maybe, somehow, there is a way to change it.

Someday.

I grab a container and pour warm vegetable soup into it. I check the time, 7:27 P.M.

Maybe, tonight.

***

"Here."

I whisper, slowly pushing the container of soup towards her.

Karolina de Loca eyes me warily. 

"Look, I am sorry." I sigh. "I should not have fought back."

She drops her gaze on my leg. It was bandaged at work.

"Oh, yeah," I shrug. "Still hurts. But, luckily he did not break the skin. The bruise is horrifying, though."

I laugh. She did not.

She reaches out and hugs Kiko, who is asleep.

"St. Bernard."

"Huh?" I then laugh and shake my head. "Hey, it is just soup. And, I really should apologize. No need to call me saint--"

"--Kiko is a St. Bernard. Isn't he lovely?"

"Oh."

"He is still a puppy, though. When he grows up--" She swipes her free arm at my head. "--he'll be bigger than you!"

Now, she laughs.

(My name is Bernard, by the way. Nice to meet you.)

She reaches for the soup. She opens it and smells.

"Thank you." She smiles.

"Uh, yeah. You're welcome." I stand up. I can't take the stench anymore. "I'll go home now."

"Coward!"

"What?"

"You take that paddle. I take the other. Stop whining!" Karolina de Loca starts imitating a rowing motion. Kiko wakes up and barks.

I realize she is not talking to me anymore.

"Row faster! The winds are getting strong!"

Arf! Arf! ARF!

My dopamine level shoots down as I walk away from her.

***

Hey, I was thinking of something crazy. For weeks now.

I told my neighbors yesterday, and they told me what you'll tell me, too, when you hear.

Ready?

I think I will adopt Karolina.

See? I told you. My neighbors told me the same thing.

I do understand where they are coming from.

I am a below-average earner. My unit is small. Most of my neighbors have small children and elderly.

Housing a schizophrenic near them is beyond a bad idea.

An aggressive schizophrenic.

Okay. I actually don't know what illness she has. But, I have a handyman friend (more of a schoolmate) who works for a psychiatrist. He promised to "lend" me books about Karolina's condition. He said the place was bombarded with books about mind disease or something.

But, screw it!

I think I am decided. I am decided.

I can no longer watch her sleeping there on the pavement with almost no clothes on. Seeing her is like watching a black and white movie: That's how filthy she is.

Nobody cares about her. For the last 6 weeks, I have been the only one I know to give her anything. It makes me nauseous to think how she managed to live before I acted.

I mean, I already talked to her. She already knows my name. Kiko is already liking me.

I cannot leave her there. 

To die. 

Hungry. Cold.

Alone.

Today is the last day I will let her sleep by the road.

***

"So, it says here that you may have PTSD and schizophrenia." I flip the book towards her. She continues gnawing at her mango slice.

I sigh. This is going to be hard, but at least, she is showing more interest in food.

Against my past judgment, Karolina looks...young.

The first months after I took her home was a nightmare. She banged at my bedroom door. She told me to leave her house. She jumped me with a knife. She soiled the dining table. She once dragged Kiko out of the door, threatening to leave and tell the police on me.

Worst, she refused to take a bath.

Needless to say, I had to lock her up in my unit. That did not prevent my neighbors to be mad at me.

4 months later, I woke up to the sound of cooking.

I remember jumping out of my bed, afraid that Karolina will set the building on fire. Or maybe she did something to Kiko...

My worst fears were washed out by the sight of a thirtyish tan woman cooking hotdogs in my kitchen. She smiled--a wide plump smile that made my heart race.

Her long black hair fell straight down to her thighs. Her brown eyes, a bit red, were framed by long lashes and thick brows.

And her bare feet were soaking wet.

Karolina, all bathed and dressed, just pissed herself.

I took no notice of the fresh piss and hugged her. I was so happy with her development.

I am proud of her.

"Karolina. Hey." I stand up, closing into her face. She finally looks at me.

"Roller coaster," she says.

"What?"

"I wanna see a roller coaster again."

My heart pumps adrenaline. I can feel it rush all over my veins.

"Then, we'll ride one."

***

"Mr. Jacinto, it has been a year since Karolina has been staying with me. And in that year, she was nothing but pleasant."

Mr. Jacinto cocks his head. I sigh.

"I know, I know. She sometimes screams like a banshee and bangs on the walls. But, please. Do her a small favor. She is better here with me. She does not know those people. Her mind won't be able to adjust."

"You are a shrink now, Bernard?"

I roll my eyes.

"Look, boy. She is sick. There are times she seems normal, but that does not make her...safe." Mr. Jacinto glances at my barred window. "She will be taken care of by actual professionals there. It will do everyone a favor if you'll just let the institution take her."

"An asylum."

"A hospital that will take care of her in the way she really needs!"

"And the answer is no!"

Crap!

I slam the door shut on his face. Serves him right.

"Is everything okay? " Karolina raises her head from her bent knees. She had been eavesdropping. I can see sheer terror in her eyes.

"Yes, darling. Yes. It will be fine."

Her face hurts me. Her beautiful face, spoiled by fear.

"I just want to be here. I want to be with you, Bernard." She hugs me. Tight.

"And you will be. You will be."

Tighter.

***

The sun's glare forces my eyes open.

Damn. I barely had slept.

Last night was the very first--and hopefully last--sex I had. And it was great. "Great" is an understatement.

Whatever trauma or injury Karolina's head had endured, it did not take away her talent at bl--

"Bernard."

She's awake.

"Oh, Karolina..."

I roll over to her. I slip my hand under the blanket, towards her thighs. I run my fingers up her back.

She sighs. Her skin shivers.

"Please..."

"Yes." I pull her closer.

MR. BERNARD MAGO, OPEN UP! POLICE, OPEN UP!

***

The policeman refuses to answer me.

"I said, where is she? Where is my Karolina?!"

"Please calm down, sir. Or we'll add more charges."

"What did I even do?"

I pace the small cell they shoved me in. I pull at the bars.

"Look-- I was just concerned. She trusts me. I was the only one who cared enough to rescue her from the streets." I grab his shirt. "Sir, please. Wherever she is, please make sure she is fine."

He does not answer.

"Please, I am sorry." Tears just fall down my eyes. "I love her. I just love her, sir."

"I'll keep you updated on your case--your lawyer, paper works, whatever. Right now, you have to spend the night in here. She is in a safe place. Good night."

I collapse as I watch him walk away.

***

"Wake up, boy."

I sit up. It is already morning.

"It's urgent, big boy. He wants to see you."

What?

"What? Who?"

"You'll know if you'll get up." He opens the gate.

"T--thank you," I manage to blurt out. I run into the open.

"This way."

He leads me into one of the dark rooms.

"Uh...why here?"

The policeman turns to me. "He said he wants privacy."

Oh.

It's him.

"Bernard, my son!"

Felipe runs to me and embraces me. I am going to be sick.

"It was so long. So long!" He is crying.

I push him away. His mere breath disgusts me.

"How are you here? What the heck?"

He composes himself and clears his throat. He looks so old.

"I looked and looked for you. Years! I got out 8 years ago. I came back to our house as soon as I stepped out of the prison. But, you--"

That makes me laugh.

"What did you think I'd do? Sit around and wait for my abuser to come back?" I shout at him. He looks down. As he should.

"Your aunt told me you ran away after you finished high school. So, I did not know where to start looking. Then, I stayed--"

"Shut up." I stomp my foot. "Go away!"

"I will get you out, somehow. I will ask the chief--"

"I don't need your help. I don't need you anymore!"

Felipe grabs my shoulders and lets out a weird cry.

"And, you found her, son!"

"What?"

"Melinda. You found Melinda!" He grabs my hands. "See, I am the new janitor here. I heard you were called in for kidnapping yesterday. I had to be here even though it was my day off."

He closes into me. "I am sorry, Bernard. I thought she died when their cruise ship sank! But, she survived! Your mother is alive, and you found her!" "

He cries hard.

Harder.

Who knew?