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Mystery Thriller

My sister was all I had after our parents had died, I was too young to remember them. My sister tells me that someone had killed them, broken into the house, and shot them. The police never found the killer. We were left orphaned. My sister took care of me, and I took care of her. We were all we had together in this world. So why did she do it? I should have suspected something when she woke me up late in the night, or when she led me away from the orphanage and into the forest. The way she walked in front of me, not talking or answering any of my questions. I should have suspected something when we stayed from the path. The way she cautiously walked glancing behind her every minute. I was stupid, then again I was nine.


“Vicky, where are we going?” My sister kept walking. “My feet hurt and I’m tired. I wanna go back.” Vicky looked over her shoulder and glared at me. “Vicky? Are you mad at me?” Vicky sighed and slowed down to a stop. “Hannah, please stop talking. Just trust me.” I looked up at her, her sharp features casting shadows that concealed her face. “Okay, Vicky!” I quickly hugged her, I felt her go stiff against me. She pushed me away from her and started walking again. I followed behind her in a slightly better mood. Vicky was almost eighteen, nine years older than me. Vicky was really smart and nice. I trusted her, I loved her. I ran up and grabbed her hand, she squeezed my hand back and we walked farther into the forest.


The clearing up ahead was small but big enough that the moon was able to shine down into it. When we reached the edge Vicky let go of my hand. “Wow, Vicky! This place is beautiful!” She stared straight ahead, where two rocks laid. She pushed me into the clearing gently. I looked at her confused but she just motioned for me to go. I walked towards the middle of the clearing where the two rocks were. I leaned down and looked at the rocks, they had some sort of writing on them. I looked back at Vicky, she stood behind me. “Look Vicky the rocks say something!” I eagerly wiped my little hands over the plaques. “Kevin.” I looked at the other, “Saydie. The rocks have names?”

“Yes.”

“Why?” Vicky doesn’t answer me instead she sits down and motions at the clearing, “Aren’t the rocks here beautiful?” I look around, “Yes!” I say excitedly. “Would you like to pick one out?” I almost jump for joy! “Yes! Oh, Vicky, yes I would!” I hug her and start to run around the clearing. I look at the rocks until I find one I like. It is an oval-shaped rock that has lots of sparkles in it. I hold it up against the light of the moon laughing as I turn the rock in my hand watching the rock shine. I run back over to Vicky and hold the rock up for her to see. She took the rock from my hand and looked at it. “This is a nice rock.”

“Right!” I reach for it but she pulls it just out of my reach, “Come on Vicky give it back!”

“Don’t worry, you’ll get your rock back.” I pout and sit on the ground with my arms crossed. “I want it now!” Vicky looks at me and stands, her long shadow falls over me. I look up into her face and see nothing but shadows. “Vicky give me the rock!” She walks over to a pile of rocks and pulls a bag out from between them. She opens the bag and grabs something, I can’t see what. She walks behind me one hand behind her back. “How does it feel Hannah?”

“What?”

“How does it feel to not get what you want?”

“It sucks! Please give me my rock!” Vicky chuckles softly, “You sound like me when I was younger. Begging and pleading with my mother.”

“What do you mean?” Vicky’s face is a mask, “Before she married your filth of a father, I tried to tell her about Anna and Hailey, Chelsey and Julie. I tried to tell her about all the times he brought a stranger home. All of the times he lied to her. I tried to warn her, that the proposal was only his way of getting her off his back. How does it feel? To know your father was a cheating bastard!”

“Bu-”

“My mother was a fool, and later I found out she was cheating too! No one was loyal, no one was trustworthy! I had to end their lies. I couldn’t stand the fact that you were so oblivious. I couldn’t stand that no one cared!” Her voice echoed around for a monument, when the clearing was silent she whispered, “So I ended it all.” She crouched in front of me, “Their names?”

“What?”

“What was our parent's names, Hannah? I thought you would have figured it out by now.” My thoughts tumbled around in my head, tripping over each other as I tried to figure it out. Then slowly two names appeared, Kevin and Saydie. My voice was almost silent, “Kevin and Saydie.” Vicky smiled, “Yes, that was their names. Hannah, have you been lying to me?”

“What? No!”

“You better tell me now,” She revealed her hidden hand, in her hand was a gun. “Or I’ll have to end the lie myself.” I felt the tears spring to my eyes as I realize what's happening, “Vicky I didn't do anything!”

“Really?”

“Yes,” I say as tears start to run down my face. Vicky presses the gun against my temple as I cry louder. “I don’t wanna die!” Vicky just stares at me, “Where is the money, Hannah?”

“What money?”

“The money from under my bed! The money I was saving! I was so close Hannah! Where is it?”

“I don’t know!”

“Hannah I saw it don’t lie to me. I saw the candy and treats you bought, I saw the new toys! Where is the money, Hannah?”

“I-i,” I can’t get the words out. “Vicky, I’m sor-” The trigger is pulled, “I don’t want your empty apology.”


The next daylight shines down into the clearing, the light shows the three stones sitting in the middle of the grass. One of the stones sparkles against the sunlight, a name plaque nailed onto its smooth surface. Under the names, each plaque reads, “Their lies have ended with them.”


January 30, 2021 21:48

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1 comment

Kate Winchester
03:49 Feb 12, 2021

Hello from the critique circle. I really liked the beginning of your story and it had me hooked. You capture the thoughts of a nine year old well. I just suggest a new line every time there is a different speaker. While the story still makes sense, it's a little confusing. I liked the twist that Vicky killed the parents. It was really sad that Hannah died, but I feel like this prompt lends itself to sadness lol.

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