Goodbye, I Don't Need You Anymore

Hello. How are you? I assume you are doing well, you are everyone's closest companion right now, even if they are embarrassed to admit it.

Did you know you are what sent me to boarding school? Foolish daddy took your advice about me not growing up proper, and sent me away like a letter to be trifled with. Don't get me wrong, I don't blame him, I blame you. I blame your devious ways and multiple faces.

I am still recovering from when you were my best friend. I hated it, but I never broke it off. You thrived off of me, and I told myself I thrived off of you, but that was a lie.

You were one of those friends that ruled my every move, and you weren't as much a friend as a dictator of my life. Every choice I made I had to run past you, and often you disproved of it and made me choose a different path that eventually made my life worse.

But I am glad I stayed close to you for a short time, it made me grow stronger getting out of it. I now know to stay away from things like you.

A friendship benefits both of the people in it, so I guess we didn't have any sort of friendship. I don't even know if I helped you in any way, you were already so powerful, that I might have dragged you down. Well, at least now I am out of your slimy, hellish grasp.

I couldn't sleep at night, thinking of your new disgusting ideas of the day. Anything you said, I couldn't stop pondering, and turning over and over in my head, again and again.

Night time was when you affected me the most. I would lay in my bed, and it was almost likely your ideas were entities, whispering in my ear.

Some people in relationships with you get affected more than others, I was on the mediocre end of the spectrum. I know when my mom started listening to you, she eventually acted insane, but I counseled her through it and she is better now, but anyone that has gone through that will never be the same.

Now that I am at "Mrs. Johnsal's Home for Needy Girls", I am afraid how you will affect Mother. Will she go back off the deep end? Will you start talking to her and will she listen? Please don't, I beg of you. I know you know how evil you are, but that is what you delight in, isn't it?

Now that I feel more alone, your ideas keep coming back to me in the dead of night. Of pain, hunger, and nasty, inappropriate notions. You were always quite dark, weren't you?

I turn my mind to other things, to new friends, and more playful, fun, and pure ideas.

I have this one new friend, he is even more attached to me than you, and yet he is good for me, not hurtful. I will keep him close. Sometimes I think he is too good to be true, especially after your affect on me.

He is a janitor, a ghastly position for someone so perfect as him, but he will one day grow to higher positions, I know it.

Now that I think about it, we spent way more time together than I remembered.

Remember the time on the dock? A bunch of friends had invited me over, and I invited you to come along. Why? I'll never know. You were simply a parasite. My friends asked me to jump in the bay, off of the old wooden dock with them for fun. Stupidly, I consulted you, quietly, in the corner so my friend's wouldn't hear or suspect I was in a dastard relationship. You told me I could die jumping off the dock. My neck would break, my legs would get twisted, my arms would bleed from the barnacles, and my beautiful complexion would be ruined. That was the only time you called me beautiful, you were always too busy calling yourself pretty to do the honor to me.

I told my friends that I couldn't jump off. I gave excuses that it was too cold. (It was an eighty-nine degree day.) I told them that I had scratches on my legs from my new puppy. (My legs were without blemish.) I said anything but that you told me not to do it. I didn't tell them that I was scared.

Then there was the time that you counseled my older sister out of getting married to her perfect, childhood sweetheart. You told her that she was too good for him. That marriage was something that held you down. That things would go wrong in five years and end in divorce. Nothing you said made sense, but it did to her, and that was all it took.

Then there was time time you told my brother he wasn't good enough for us. He ran away, and we never found him again. He followed your direction, and look where that got him.

Here at the school people aren't affected by you in the same way. Some people don't even know you! I thought that you were a villainous, infamous household name, I guess I was wrong. I have been wrong a lot lately.

Another new good friend of mine hadn't even heard of you! She is the polar opposite of you! She counsels me for good, not bad. She encourages me and pushes me only when necessary. She leads me towards the right company, not the bad, and helps me get over your and my old friendship.

So why am I writing this letter? When you saw this you probably thought I wanted you back, so many people do now-a-days. No, this is a final letter. A letter saying good-bye, good-day, adios, ciao, and one-hundred other ways to finalize this relationship. Not finalize it as in keep it forever. No, finalize it as in...we are done. Our relationship, is forever gone.

Goodbye, Anxiety. I don't need you any more.