Remembering Zennik

The tale I am about to tell is the product of meditation, where I happened into a trance-like state allowing long-forgotten memories from thirty years ago to make themselves known to my mind. Before I begin, a bit about myself and background might better lay the groundwork to explain how I would be in a position to forget my memories. I guess you could label me a seeker of sorts, one obsessed with all things healthy living and natural, including, and especially, the supernatural. I have always been a magnet for the bizarre, and gravitate toward all things eccentric, fringy, and un-status quo. Palm readers, Tarot cards, astrology, pendulums, crystals, incense, mantras, yoga, acupuncture, meditation, and hypnosis are just a few of my favorite things. I live in a world where freak is a compliment and metaphysical, "New-Agey" health aficionados know way more about healing their bodies than the entire AMA.

I spent that particular meditation pondering how and why I see the world so very differently than most, when I found myself transported from the condo I own as a forty-four-year-old woman to a party I attended when I was a sophomore in high school. It was a very strange experience that felt like I was split in two - as I knew myself to be the child in the vision while simultaneously having the awareness of being an adult remembering it as a memory. What struck me the most about the entire bifocal experience was realizing how it was even possible I could forget my memories at all. It blew my mind realizing how many life experiences had been hidden from my awareness behind some sort of invisible wall system I had never detected before. That somehow in meditation, when I achieved a new level of relaxation, those walls fell, one by one, like dominos all around me; flooding my consciousness like a wall of water released from a broken dam - exposing to me memories that had been there the whole time.

About this time my dad got a new job and we moved, and I had to start a new high school halfway through my sophomore year. Already quite a misfit myself, I became drawn to this mysterious, goth clique of kids who, after feeling me out for a couple weeks, invited me to a party one of them was having at their house. The party started out as one typically does with music, refreshments, and dancing. I remember all that, but what I am just now able to remember is, at some point, someone suggested we try to make a “contact”. As the adult listening in, I thought, “Make a contact? What does that mean?” I did not seem to know then either and observed my lost, younger self just nod along affirmingly with the others who were now getting to their feet. They seemed to forget I was the new kid, so I brought as little attention to myself as possible; walking behind everyone and just mirroring what they did.

We all climbed the stairs, taking a left down a hallway that led to a small, softly lit study with a red Persian rug on the floor. Everyone piled in and took seats in a circle on the rug. I would later remember meeting like this regularly to try and contact the dead. The father of the kid whose house we were at was a neuroscientist who studied the phenomenon of telepathy and astral projection, and had taught him how to access the part of his mind that controls these abilities. Darrow then taught us. Darrow told us his father used him to experiment his findings on, as he found children naturally have the ability to reach the “still point” required for making contacts. Many times, like this evening, we were successful. Afterwards, I would swear right along with the rest of them I'd tell no one else about it. And evidently, I didn’t even tell myself.

Until recently, I had forgotten all about the events of that evening thirty-years ago. Maybe it was so hard to believe I just convinced myself it didn’t happen. Looking back, this is the sort of thing that challenges the reality you live in everyday, and I guess, sometimes it’s just easier to see things the way you want them to be instead of how they really are. Darrow began by leading us in a guided meditation. In a slow, soft voice he said, "Take a deep, full breath. Keep breathing in, in, in, until your lungs are fully expanded. Now, exhale completely. Breathe out, out, out, every bit of air in your lungs until they are fully deflated. Now inhale fully again and shut your eyes. Concentrate on being still nothingness. Focus on feeling yourself existing as a void; a living infinity existing beyond the confines of your skin. See yourself stretching out in all directions, from one side of the galaxy to the other - then merging back together as one. Feel your being as expansive as the entire universe." I just took his promptings at face value and did them, and soon felt myself explode. As if I was a bomb exploding, and bits of myself were slung out in every direction for infinity. I was shaking in the power of my own energy. We all were.

Satisfied we were in the state of mind we needed to be in, Darrow asked if there was anyone we wanted to attempt contact with. A boy named Severin spoke up and offered out the name of his late grandmother, Este. Darrow then said the Lord’s Prayer and asked if Este would please appear and give a message to Severin. I could not believe my ears. Did these kids really think the ghost of Este was just going to appear in here because we asked her to? Apparently they did, as they all seemed serious and focused when I squinted one eye open a crack to check. They were all concentrating really hard on willing Este to appear. I personally wasn’t sure I even wanted to see Este. All I could think was, “How badly am I going to freak out if she does show up? Am I going to scream my brains out, or just faint?”

Well, Este didn’t show up, and I was really quite relieved. These kids were just playing around. No ghost was actually going to make an appearance. This was all pretend. Phew! Darrow did not give up though. He offered that everyone take a break, use the bathroom if they had to, walk around a bit, and then come back and try again. So, we all got up slowly and stretched out our stiff legs from sitting in lotus position for half an hour, returning to our seats about ten minutes later. Soon Darrow was reciting the Lord’s Prayer again. This time, once in English, and then in Latin. He again humbly asked that Este appear before us and communicate with her grandson, Severin.

Just after he spoke Severin’s name a drastic cold filled the room, and what stood before us was a flesh and blood entity. I mean, not exactly flesh and blood, but definitely real. You could see every detail about his face, body, and clothing. Every piece of lint on his jacket down to every straggly, grey strand in his beard. You could even smell him. Earthy, like how a damp basement smells. He definitely looked human, but his body was made of this kind of warping, moving energy. Like a spectacular lava lamp. I cannot properly explain to you how the solid, pulsing, jelly man - that literally manifested into the study from someplace else looked. It was like one minute nothing was there, and the next, a plasmatic male being stepped into the room through an invisible door that connected his world to ours.

He was old and hard, like a man who had spent years fighting a war or away at sea. He looked tough and mean, and he scowled as he looked each of us in the eyes and then around at the study. He looked ticked off, like how you might look if someone jolted you awake in the middle of the night. Oddly, Darrow, nor any of the others, seemed the least bit fazed by this man, and surprisingly, I neither screamed nor fainted. It was such a challenge for my eyes and brain to accept what I was looking at, that I just drank in the sight of him without judgment. I just accepted his presence, and it was weirdly not scary, in anyway. It was like seeing something unnervingly strange, yes, yet it conveyed to you a deep truth - a comforting truth. A knowing that took away your fear. Fear you did not even know you had.

Jelly man talked too. I could see his form clearly with my eyes and heard his voice just as clearly with my ears. This was not an apparition. He was not smoky or transparent. I did not just see a hazy outline of his head and torso. This large, intimidating looking man was standing on the rug right in front of us - plain as day. You could even feel the wood shake under your rear when he walked around the rug. He even touched me, and I felt it. He left a bruise! When he started to speak, Darrow sat down and assumed lotus position with the rest of us. The gruff man began his soliloquy, "Este heard you and is safe. She wants 'Sevie' to know she was watching over him and his family, and that she loves you very much." He turned his head toward Severin and spoke to him directly, already knowing which one of us he was. He then walked over and knelt down before him - his countenance much softer now, as he explained, "I have just seen your beautiful grandmother and she is very happy where she is at. That instead of coming herself, she called on me to use this contact in her place." He then put a reassuring plasmatic hand on Severin's left shoulder, adding, "She asked that I call you 'Sevie' so you would know it was her." Severin just looked into the man’s eyes; smiling, crying, and nodding, all at the same time.

That is when the man, who referred to himself now as Zennik, came and stood in front of me. After taking several silent seconds to look around the circle, inspecting each of us in turn, he announced, "I have also come here to tell you of your fate. You are all part of a group of star seeds born on Earth at this time to awaken spiritually and to teach human awakening to others." He then turned his penetrating gaze down at me, and commanded, “Stand child.” After timidly rising to my slightly off balanced feet, he announced, “What she is doing here, is sleeping. In fact, all of you are asleep. You may sit there, walk and talk even, but you are sleeping. In a coma, you all are!"

He then spun around on the right heel of his worn out boot, while dramatically pointing around the circle at us, yelling, “Look at you all. Asleep, thinking you know anything! I have used this contact to come here as a siren would, to wake you all up to what is real. What you are doing now is dreaming. The things you see and feel, are as the things you see and feel in a dream. For instance, when you wake up, does the sports car you dreamt about driving around in still remain? No? I assure you it does though. It remains in the real world; it is you who leave and ‘wake up’ and come to live in this dream-filled realm. What I am, what Este is, what all the deceased are, you are also. You just have a dream body around your soul currently keeping you from seeing yourself as you truly exist. What you call ‘alive’ is a false sense of life. You are each sleepwalkers before me. Ignorant of your true lives as advanced souls. Souls who voluntarily took human forms to learn how to awaken spiritually in this lifetime. To learn how to unleash the dormant potential within your human minds and become conscience of having become lost in a dream, and the need to wake up from it immediately!"

He paused for several seconds, making deep eye contact with each of us, before adding, “Most people are never given the opportunity I am giving you. This is a gift from Este, as her love for Severin inspired me to come and lift the veil for you. Sir Darrow here is destined to awaken in this lifetime, and the rest of you have been pulled into his auspicious karma. Whether or not you use this gift to shake yourself awake is up to you.”

Just then he looked me in the eyes, and said, “We normally cannot cross energy fields with incarnates, but Este knew I was strong enough to prove to you that I am the real one. With that, he grasped the back of my arm and pulled me toward the invisible door he came in through. It felt like a heaviness I cannot describe, like his touch caused a black hole to open; creating a vacuum powerful enough to drag me several feet across the room. I was being pulled through the door except when he crossed through it, I was abruptly tossed off and left behind. Whatever it was he did to my arm seemed to erase my memory entirely because, as I said, I am only able to recall these events thirty years later. What I can piece together is, after he left, I was dropped off downstairs at some later point in time. So, to me, it never even happened. Only thing different would be the huge, painful bruise on the back of my arm I couldn't figure out how I got. Until now.