Unravel

Sitting by the corner of a cell, she re-counts the many tally marks on the wall across from her. 

“1,2,3,,..” 

Her dull eyes roam the whole wall once again as a stray tear escapes down her cheeks. With her eyes staying on a mark, her hands grope blindly on the floor. She feels a sharp edge and grabs it enclosing her fist around it. She stood up and winced as the edges wound her palm but she didn't let go. 

Now facing the wall with marks, she stood. Bringing her bloodied fist up, she started drawing a new tally mark. Blood streams down from her palms to her wrist. More droplets joined the already dried blood on the floor as her grip tightened around the shard. Up and down, her hands never cease moving as she creates another deep mark on the wall. 

"12, 13, 14..."

She walked backwards slowly as she started counting once again. Sitting back down in the corner, her legs bent up as her chin rests on her knees. Only then did her palms open slowly, dropping the bloody shard on the floor.

"20, 21, 22..."

Her mind wanders along with her eyes. She looks around and thinks 'have I ever seen any other part of this room?' Thinking hard she racks her memories for anything. Why was she in the room? How did she get in with no doors anywhere? Just a single window above her head. Tilting her head, she sees the blue sky outside. She fully turns and kneels down as she places her arms on the ledge. She doesn't remember ever seeing the sky. 

All she remembers are the marks on the wall as she woke up, curled in on herself in the same corner she is at now. She remembers as her hands slide over the marks and she sees her bloody palm. She didn't panic though. Her fingers continued tracing each and every mark, her feet moving her from one side to the other. 

Reaching the last of the marks, her feet step on something. Moving her feet away, she sees a shard of mirror with some kind of rust almost coating it. She looks at it momentarily before crouching down to take a closer look. Grabbing it, she tried wiping the rust off to no avail. Huffing, she sits down in front of the marked wall and scraped at the shard with her nails. 

When was the last time she saw herself? Frustration grows inside of her as she tries to see her full face in the mirror but only one of her eyes and her auburn hair is seen. She drops it in her lap and looks up once again at the wall.

"31, 32, 33..."

She massaged her nape as she counted for the nth time. With a sigh, she lies down and just stares at the ceiling. Seeing the unlit floating lanterns, her eyes begin to water as she remembers a vague memory of herself on a canoe. She remembers a tune and starts humming it as she cries away the sadness that suddenly settled in the room.

"Who are you?" She whispers to herself as another memory floods her thoughts.

Someone - a man - sitting across from her and is singing along to the tune she just hummed. He is holding an unlit lantern in his palm and offers it to her as he lights it up. She raises her hands up towards the ceiling as if she was back in that canoe with the man and she accepts the lit lantern and gently pushes it up the sky as it gets lost amongst the sea of lanterns surrounding her and the man. 

Turning her head to the side, more tears cascade down from her eyes. It slides down her temple washing away the memories and making it more unclear than it already is. Her sight blurs but her eyes recognizes the shard she dropped. Her hands move and reach for it. Her fingers curl around it and she brings it close to her chest as she curls in on herself and hugs it against her chest. The egdes scraping her hands the only thing keeping her grounded as she sobs for her the memories shrouded in the vaguest veil. 

Her tears dry along with the new shallow wounds in her palms. She opens her palm and looks at the shard before directing her eyes towards the wall with marks. She sits up, shard still at hand.

"41, 42, 43..."

A mark on her wrist.

"64."

A new wave of tears.

"65."

Another slice for her wrist.

"66."

Deep breaths. Deeper cuts.

The rubiest red bracelets her wrists.

"77, 78, 79,..."

She rubs at her eyes. Warm tears and blood on her cheeks mix. She looks back at the wall of tallies, her head feeling lighter. Her head dips one side to the other.

"85, 86, 87..."

Feeling her world spin, she crawls away from the wall towards the little window. She falls on her back. Her eyes scan a purple sky dotted with lights. She reaches up for the little dotted lights on the sky, but her arms fail her and drops on the ledge. She takes another deep breath and momentarily closes her eyes as she exhales. 

"And at last I see the light." She whispers.

"And it's like the fog has lifted." Opening her eyes slowly, she is met with her ceiling full of lanterns.

"And it's like the sky is new." She gently laughs up at the lanterns as they are lit one by one.

"And it's warm and real and bright." Her laugh is infectious, if anybody could hear it.

"And the world has somehow shifted." Tilting her head a little towards the window, the sky has turned velvet black with twinkling lights scattered.

"All at once everything looks different." Finally, her eyes close in content.

She wakes to a bright light blinding her.

"98..99..100. Wake up." 

Someone is counting quietly beside her ear as she stirs.

"Why are you on the floor, silly?" The man who was counting beside her softly, chuckled. He offered his hand as he stood, waiting for her to take it so he could pull her up.

"Where are the-" Her words were cut off as she stared at a blank wall. Instead of tally marks is a mirror leaning against the wall.

"Where are the what, darling?"

Running towards the mirror, she glances at herself. Her obsidian hair braided with little flowers adorning it. She caresses the mirror with her palm, as if she was expecting it to break and the shards to dig in her skin.

"Beautiful." The man whispers as his arms circle around her and his face nuzzles in her hair. He turns her around slowly to face him and takes her hands in his as he starts to twirl her around the room.

"All those days watching from the windows. All those years outside looking in." He smiles down at her as he lifts her up after dipping her gently.

She furrows her brow in confusion as she takes her hand back away from him and embraces it close to her chest.

"The marks. They were just there." She went back towards the blank wall as her fingertips trace invisible patterns on it. She hears him question her about the marks.

Has she gone crazy? Was everything with the tally marks a dream?

"Darling?" The man says as he looks at her.

She shakes her head and hides her face in her palms as she feels the beginning of new tears. She hears him approach and feels her wrist being tugged. He leads her towards a bed that was not there before. As she is being tucked in bed, her eyes focus on the lanterns on the ceiling.

"Are those really floating?" She asked in wonder, her hands reaching out for the lowest one.

"I think you need more sleep. But this time on a bed, and not the floor. And yes. You requested those lanterns, remember? You loved them so much when we were on the canoe."

His last word made her look at him, still confused. 

He gently removed the flowers on her hair and unbraided her hair, careful not to pull to hard. Her mind brings her back to the floating lanterns above the ceiling as she hears him hum the same melody she did before.

"Now sleep, my darling. I'll come for you at noon." He pecks her forehead once, her hair in his hands. He walks towards the window as her long black hair is slowly unraveled before her eyes.

"Pull your hair up once you hear me reach the ground. Don't let your hair down for anyone, ok darling? Just wait for my lantern signal on the window for you to let it down." 

She stares out at the window, the blue sky is back. Her hair is already pulled back up and is on the floor. She stood up and gathered it back towards herself. Walking towards the mirror, she combs it gently, her eyes staring at herself. As she places the brush away, a sudden anger bursts from her. She pushes the mirror away and it falls on the floor, breaking. 

A shard of mirror is by her feet and an empty wall on the other side.