George sat at the round table, chuckling to himself as he watched his old schoolmates shuffle on the dance floor. He leaned back in his chair, crossed his legs, and tapped his foot along to the beat of “Here Comes the Sun” playing from the speakers on the stage.
“Remember me, old pal?” asked a quiet voice behind him.
George craned his neck around to see a short woman with gray hair and a face full of wrinkles. She wore a turquoise and white blouse that reminded him of tropical beaches, and she carried a small pink purse on her shoulder.
“My goodness,” he said, laughing. “Mary Lou Campbell.” He wheeled his chair around so he could fully face her.
She leaned down and wrapped her arms around his frail body. He pressed his cheek against hers. She smelled like ripe peaches.
“I forget a lot of things these days, but you’ll never be one of them, Mary.”
“How long’s it been?” she asked as she settled into the seat beside him, dropping her purse on the table.
George was startled to see the dullness in her eyes; he only remembered them as a brilliant blue. They used to be the exact color of the lake in the mountains she always drove him to.
“Since we last talked? A decade, at least.”
Mary Lou shook her head. “Just rude. I’m sorry.”
“Me, too.” George tried his hardest not to stare as Mary Lou gazed around the gym.
“Can you believe this? Fifty years since prom?” she said, shaking her head.
“And sixty years since we met.”
“Oh, yes.” Mary Lou giggled and Frank felt his heart stutter. Something told him it wasn’t his pacemaker. “When you broke your chair?”
“I see the years haven’t dulled your memory,” huffed Frank.
“Don’t be embarrassed. I happened to like patching you up.”
George smiled as his mind traveled back to the day he sped down the hill in his childhood wheelchair. Mary Lou wrapped bandages around his scraped arms and wiped the blood off his shirt, and her mother even gave him a spoon of ice cream once his tears ceased.
“How’s Frank? And the kids?” he asked.
Mary Lou coughed into her hand. “Frank’s...the same. Wanted to watch the game instead of coming here.” She cleared her throat. “The kids are fine. More than fine—Elizabeth’s pregnant!”
“Congratulations!” said George, and he meant it. “What number will that be?”
“Seven.” Mary Lou reached into her purse and pulled out a bundle of polaroids. She showed George six pictures of children ranging from infant to teenager.
“Number seven. Wow.” George scratched his head as he stared at Mary Lou’s grandchildren. One of them had her sharp cheekbones. Another stared at him with the bluest of eyes.
“And you?” she asked, setting the pictures onto the table.
“Still...nothing,” said George. He suddenly couldn’t meet Mary Lou’s gaze. “You know how it is,” he mumbled, gesturing to his chair.
She remained silent for a moment before clearing her throat. “They played this at prom, didn’t they?”
George laughed as they listened to The Rolling Stones. “Seriously, how do you remember stuff like that?”
She leaned forward and playfully slapped his hand. “How could you not? This was the only song we danced together to!”
“You mean when I wheeled over your toes?”
“My shoes did more damage to my feet than your wheelchair, I can tell you that.” She laughed, and it was that tinkling sounds that made George blurt out without thinking.
“I was going to ask you to prom.” His cheeks warmed and he shifted in his chair.
Mary Lou stared at him. “What?”
“I just—I thought you should know.”
“Why didn’t you?” she demanded.
“What?”
“Why didn’t you ask me to prom?”
George chuckled. “Well, your parents told me you were sweet on Frank just about every time I came around.”
Mary Lou blinked. “Are you serious?”
“They said you were excited to go with Frank...”
“And you believed them?”
George stared at her. “What? Why wouldn’t I?” George thought about the way Mary Lou’s mother always helped him get into his chair from the car, and how her father always asked him about his classes.
“You were always too good to be true, George,” she whispered, and George was startled to see her eyes fill with tears. “They made me go with Frank. They wouldn’t let me go to prom with a—a—”
It hit George like a truck then, and he said, “They wouldn’t let you go to prom with...a cripple?”
Mary Lou closed her eyes and nodded.
George let out his breath in a big huff. He didn’t realize he was holding it in. “Well. I—I don’t know what to say to that, Mary Lou. I guess I thought your parents were alright.”
“They said they wanted the best for me.” She opened her eyes again and stared at George with such sadness, he felt his heart drop to the floor. “People can be beautiful on the outside and cruel on the inside, George.”
George opened his mouth and snapped it quickly shut again.
“And then Frank and I ended up going to the same college…”
“I wrote to you. Every week.” His voice was accusatory now.
“I was a stupid girl, George,” said Mary Lou. “A stupid, cowardly girl. I should never have listened to them. They weren't the only cruel ones.” She pulled a handkerchief from her purse and blew her nose.
George looked at her—at the silver strands of hair framing her face, at the powdered blush on her cheeks. “It’s not too late, Mary Lou. It’s not too late for us.” He reached forward and clutched her wrinkled hands in his.
She tilted her head toward the table, at the polaroids of her smiling grandchildren, and slowly pulled her hands out of George’s. “But it is,” she whispered.
Mary Lou stood up from her chair and leaned toward her oldest friend. She pressed her lips to his forehead, picked up her purse, and walked away.
George wiped the tears from his eyes as he stared at the six pictures left on the table.
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24 comments
Even though you said this was rushed, you did an amazing job! Keep up the good work.
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Thank you so much, Noor!! I appreciate your comment!
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This story is touching and heartfelt, and well written. I really like how this submission featured more dialogue than some of your others! I think you have a great handle on this type of style. Do you think you'll write a story featuring just dialogue? I definitely think it's in your wheelhouse!
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Thanks so much, Lina!! I really do like conversations. I did a story that was mostly dialogue between a couple living on the moon a few contests ago, and I think I'll keep trying to find prompts that fit a lot of dialgoue!
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I think I remember that one! You definitely have a great handle on it. Have you ever read Cormac McCarthy? He handles dialogue in a really interesting way; could be something to experiment with, too. :)
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Yes!! I read All the Pretty Horses a long time ago, in high school, and loved it. :) I really want to read The Road, that's been on my list for a while!
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Yes, The Road is one of my favorites! It's so intense––if you like more speculative/thriller/horror pieces, that one fits in that genre well. I'll have to read All the Pretty Horses––haven't read that one yet.
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That's the one with no punctuation, right? Or very limited punctuation?
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I think you like playing with my emotions! Honestly, though, my boy George is better off without her. Not because I don't think they could make it work, but because she doesn't even entertain the idea...to quote her, "just rude." I found one teeny tiny mistake: "...and it was that tinkling sounds." I think you want: "sound" or "those." :) But otherwise, as usual, just wonderful and powerful and perfect. You really take a moment in time and capture it well--the emotions, the subtle movements, the awkwardness of time. You're such a tale...
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GOSH DANG IT literally the worst feeling when there's a tiny mistake after they're already submitted :'(. Grrrrr. One of these days I'll submit a story without a single mistake... and today is not that day hahahaha. Thank you, as always, for reading!!!! :)
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Ok I have a confession, I came to your story because I saw some feedback you gave another writer and I wanted some of that. It is my custom to find stories using the same prompt I do and give some feedback while asking for the same. You however used a different prompt but here I am anyway. :-) This was a great way to interpret the prompt. It was thoughtful and hopeful and sad all at the same time. You made me feel as if George was a real person and I felt the sting of the revelation. I was actually hopeful that somehow you were work...
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Hi, Thom! Thank you so much for reading and commenting! I'm glad you enjoyed the story. :) I would love to read you story and give some feedback! Apologies in advance if I leave a looooong comment... :D
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That’s what I’m looking for. You have a great editors eye as well. You’ll help make me better. 😀
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You are too kind! :)
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Always feel free to take any suggestions with a grain of salt, though. ;)
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Hey Leilani! I really enjoyed this one! You expertly wove in the two character's emotions via dialogue, which is quite hard for me at least to do, so good job!
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Thank you so much Maya!! That means a lot--I struggled with this one. You're the best. :)
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:)
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What a lovely sad story, and a beautifully crafted blend of dialogue and story. I loved how we gradually find out what from the past affected the present.
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I think you did a good job. It was creative, and pretty decent. I liked reading it. I might go back and read it again, and do some editing with punctuation issues, and some possibly wordiness. BUT it was good. I promise. Would love for you to come read some of my stuff? I posted one in the new contest under the one for someone putting something in a time cap....
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Thanks for reading, Becky! I'll take a look at your story sometime this week when I have time.
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Combined some prompts. Felt like I rushed this a bit, but the deadline's tomorrow...hopefully I can edit this a bit before then!
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