Mermaids and Fan Hogs

“Ahhahhhahhh ahhhahhhahhh ahhhahhhhahhhh…”

“Stop making so much noise! You’re bugging me! And you’re hogging all the air!” 



“I’m singing like the mermaids. Listen, the fan makes it like I’m under the sea. See, ahhahhhahhh ahhahh—!”

“Boys can’t be mermaids, stupid!”

“They can too be! Momma says I can be whatever I want, and I want to be a mermaid! Ahhhhahhhhhahhhhh ahhhhahhh—Ow!”

“I said STOP!”

“You didn’t have to hurt me. I’m telling! Moooooooooom! Tay hit me!”

“I did not! El’s lying!”

“Am not!”

“Mooooooooooommmmmm!” They scream in unison.

I really should deal with this, I think to myself, but it’s just so damn hot! “Boys! Stop fighting.” There that should be sufficient.

“Mooom!” He calls from the living room, he’s getting closer. 



It’s Elliot, my sensitive little gem. He lives in a fantasy world where make-believe and imagination reign supreme. He is a kindhearted little boy who would give away his last bite of cookie, just so you weren’t left without, even if you already ate all of yours. The world will eat him alive if he doesn’t learn to be selective with who he gives his heart and soul to. 



“Momma?” He’s on the other side of the door now. I can’t see his face, but I can hear the heartache making its way into the world, I am certain that he has large tears forming in his big brown eyes preparing to leave streaks down his chubby little cheeks. “Momma,” He knocks, ever so lightly, “are you in here, Momma?” 



Time to momma up again. “I’m here, El?” I say as I pull myself up from the tub. It was nice while it lasted.

“Okay. I found you, Momma. Momma, Tay says boys can’t be a mermaid, but I really want to be a mermaid. You have to tell Tay that I can too be a mermaid. Momma can you tell him, please? I realwy want to be a mermaid.”

Anyone else would not be able to make out the words he spoke as he mumbled through his sorrow, but three years of practice since he first found his voice, and I now speak fluent Elliot.

I reach for the towel hanging on the back of the door. “I know you do, El, Tate just doesn’t understand.” I wrap the soft white material around my body, the relief the cool bath provided from the hot summer day already disappearing. 



I open the door, revealing the tear-streaked face of my sweet little boy, the perfect replica of what I’d imagined waiting for me on the other side of the door. “Remember, El, most people call the boys mermen and the girls mermaids, but you can be a mermaid if you want to be a mermaid.” His tears held his long, dark lashes together.



Elliot moved forward, pressing his face into my rounded midsection as he wrapped his arms around my thighs and cried. “But, Momma, mermaids have long hair and they sing. I want to be a mermaid; I don’t want to be a mermen. It’s not fair, I just want to be a mermaid, Momma.”

I patted his head gently before peeling him away from my belly, I kneeled down to his level, a task that would have been much easier if I was not on the verge of popping, the third trimester in the middle of a heatwave, never again!

I looked into those big brown eyes that were the windows to his soul, there wasn’t a hint of meanness to be found. “King Triton has long hair, and he loves singing, remember how happy he was during the concert? We didn’t hear it when we watched Little Mermaid, but maybe that was because he didn’t like to share his voice with the world, you know, like how Nanny sings all the time, but Pop-Pop only sings with you. Pop-Pop sings, pretty doesn’t he?”

“He does!" All traces of sorrow gone now, “ And Pop-Pop loves to listen to music, just like King Triton! And we sing together, Jesus Loves Me, I Stand All Amazed, I am a Child of God! Pop-Pop sings reawl good, like me!”

“That he does, El, you both do.” I kissed him on the forehead. “How about you go and get your mermaid gear and I will draw you a cool bath so you can splash around in the sea.”

“Yeah, Momma! Can we turn the music on and play the Mermaid songs too? Can we Momma, please, can we?”

“Of course, we can, El. Momma has to get dressed real quick, wait for me out here.” I closed the door behind me as Elliot took off running to get his things.

I made my way to the bedroom and found the lightest-weight clothing I owned, a loose sundress. I pulled it over my head and let it fall to the floor, bra be damned in this heat.

“Tate!” I called to the other room.

After a moment Tate moseyed into the room. “What, Mom?” My little Tater Tot, every bit as beautiful as his twin brother, and yet so different. He liked realness, instead of make-believe and imaginations, seriousness and logic. His big brown eyes were guarded, where Elliot would let anyone in, deserving or not, Tate wouldn’t let anyone in, if he didn’t learn to trust, he was in for a lonely life. My two little polar opposites.

“You, know what, Tate! You know how much it hurts your brother when you are mean to him.”

“He was hogging all the air! It’s not fair, why does he get to hog all the air?”

I couldn’t help but laugh to myself, a laugh that made no outward sound or appearance, on the outside the seriousness of being mermaids and feeling the cool breeze of the fan are no laughing matter.

“Did you ask, Elliot to share the air?”

“No, but I—” He stopped the excuse when he saw my Mom face. It’s a face you can’t really explain, but the one that means business. “No. I didn’t ask, I just tolded him.”

I softened my eyes, “Do you think maybe if you asked him to stop, instead of yelling at him, he would have stopped?”

“Yeah, I guess.” He hung his head, trying to make sense of the feelings of guilt he wasn’t able to comprehend yet.

I hugged him to me, “You are a good big brother, Tate, Elliot is going to need you to look out for him and protect him, just like you are going to need him to be by your side so you are never alone.” I bent down and kissed him on the top of his sweaty head. “Do you want to get your swim trunks on and play with Elliot in the bath?”

“No.” A big smile spread suddenly across his face, “I’m gonna go hog the fan before he gets done!” With that, he ran from the room.

I watched the spot where Tate had disappeared, “Well little lady,” I brought my hands to my belly, caressing it gently as I spoke, “You sure are going to have the best of both worlds, with those two. Tate to protect you and Elliot to spoil you. What a lucky little girl you are already.” My belly jumped in response.

“Mooooommmmmaaaaa! I’m reeeaaaddddddyyyy.”

I smiled outwardly this time, eager as ever, Elliot, my little mermaid.

“On my way, El!” I called back.

I paused looking out to the living room where Tate sat in front of the fan mouth open allowing it to vibrate the sounds as he spoke, my husband laying on the couch just inside the wall smiling as he watched.

He reached back and took my hand, “You sure have a gift for making the most ridiculous, mundane things, seem like the most important thing in the world. It’s your superpower.” He brought my hand to his lips.

I shrugged off his compliment, “It’s all part of being a mom.”

“No, it’s called being amazing.” He kissed my hand again.

I blushed slightly, something only he could make me do.

“Mooooooommmmmmmaaaaa.”

“Op! There goes my bat signal.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.” I bent over and kissed him on the forehead. Then I was off to save the world, as always, one mermaid and one fan hog at a time.