Michael and the Guardian Pigeons

Submitted into Contest #96 in response to: Start your story with the arrival of a strange visitor in a small town.... view prompt


Fantasy Christian Funny

A bright light streaked across the night sky leaving a burning tail in its wake. It hit the ground in a field about a mile outside of the village of Winhampton. No one noticed except a herd of cows who lived where the fireball landed and the two donkeys opposite and they didn't care.

The mercury in the old church thermometer indicated 32 degrees. The hands on the clock in the old clocktower read 9:04. Then it had not worked since the lightning strike of 1987. It was in fact 13:45, the village fete would be starting in fifteen minutes. The highlight of the summer. 

Reverend Stephen Woodcock spent all morning praying for a miracle. One of the reasons for the fete's importance was that the roof fund became. a roof, wall and tower fund over the last year. Someone stole the lead off he roof and last year some outsiders went in to the church and took the collection boxes. The fete became the primary fundraiser. They needed at least £100,000 by the end of summer or the church would be at risk. At the moment the total figure stood at £5792.27.

It would be a miracle, if they got the money together. The church would close, and he would be the vicar who oversaaw the end to St Michaels Church. It would be sold to a developer who would turn the church in to a house.

Josie Green patted her two favourite boys Patch and Ryan. They always scrubbed up well on village fete day. They stood ready for the walk in to town where they would pull round the village children. Probably. They were donkey's after all and they may decide that they would rather run off and eat grass, or veg from the vegetable competition. She walked over to the cart and put her bag in the back and screamed. 

In the back of the cart lay a naked man. "Who are you? What are you doing in my cart? I know self defence.  I am calling the police" she said

The man shrugged and stood. "Oh my" she said as she got a full look at him. She pulled out her phone to call the police but there something about the stranger that made her feel safe. She was also impressed by his muscular physique. His eyes were the deepest blue she ever remebered and she could trust them. The brightest blue she ever saw. She felt like he read in to her soul.

"Where are you from? Can you understand me?"

"I am Michael."

Josie screamed again as he jumped down from the cart. She needed to find him some clothes. She posessed several bags that she was due to take to a charity shop later in the week. There would be something in one of the bags that would suit him. 

She backed in to the house not taking her eye off Michael. 

Michael was stunned. Something had gone wrong. One minute he was walking through the gardens of heaven and then a rift formed and he tripped and fell through. Clearly he fell to the human world, stripped of his weapons, his wings, and his clothes. 

Josie returned with a handful of clothes and before long Michael sat next to her in the cart being pulled by two Donkeys. He wore a pair of denim shorts and Bat out of Hell T-Shirt. They drove the short way to the village green.

Michael glanced around him. It had been a couple of millennia since he last came to earth.  His siblings lived on earth and took care of the human's but they were Guardian Angels, he was an Archangel. He needed to find one of his siblings. They would be here somewhere.

Josie pulled up the cart and Michael thanked her for the ride. He also thanked the two donkeys pulling the cart. Taking his leave Michael spotted the church and decided it would be a place to start. 

Reverend Stephen Woodcock followed as the young man head towards the church and followed. 

Michael stood at the door of the aptly named St. Michaels church and stared up at stained glass window. "Why am I always blonde?" 

"Michael is that you?"

Michael jumped. He turned and spotted Guardian Angel Pip sat in a tree along with Margot and Dave.

Michael smiled. "Something happened in heaven. I fell in to a rift and now I am here"

"Yes, our siblings have been trying to check in but they have been unable."

"Who are you talking to?" Michael turned startled as Stephen stood behind him. 

"I am talking to the Angels."

"You are talking to Pigeons."

"Yes, Guardian Pigeons."

Stephen frowned with concern. "Are you ok? Do you need help?"

"You can return me to heaven?"

"No, but maybe we can get you to a hospital."

"Hospital? What is this?"

Stephen ushered Michael back to the fete. Perhaps the young man needed some water. It was hot and he seemed a little delirious or drunk. As they approached the sky went dark. "Oh no no no. There is no storm forecast today. Let's hope the darkness passes."

This was no storm. Something had happened in heaven and had now connected to Earth. It wasn't the end of days. That was not due until 2043 at the earliest and even then there was a possibility that it may be cancelled.Lucifer and the father had been getting on quite well, to the point whereby he had been spending quite a bit of time in heaven.. 

Stephen ushered Michael to the beer tent where he ordered him a glass of water. Michael took a sip. 'Urgh, what is this?"

"Water will help sober you up or rehydrate you after the sunstroke."

"I don't have time for this. Something is very wrong, I have fallen from heaven and now the sky is turning black. I need to go to the church."

"The church why?"

"I need to pray to my father. I can't hear him."

Pip, Margot and Dave flew to the beer tent. "We need to help our brother" said Pip. "Margot, why don't you and Dave round up as many of the Guardian Angels as you can. We may need them here. Something is going on and this is the epicentre on earth."

Pip, listened as Michael persuaded the vicar to let him go to the church. Following on behind Pip flew through a hole in the roof and settled on a window ledge above the altar. Michael walked to the altar and knelt praying for clarity and answers. He also prayed for his wings, his armour and his sword.

Stephen was not sure what to make of the young man. He should be calling the police or the hospital, yet he wanted to help him. All of a sudden he was blinded by a flash. Michael was surrounded by light. Stephen closed his eyes. A few minutes later he opened his eyes. 

Michael stood before him, except now he had a sword and wings. Stephen fell to his knees and started thanking God for whatever miracle he had sent. Pip flew down and sat on Michael's shoulder. Stephen was not sure if he was hallucinating. He was a vicar so he had to believe in Angels, but seeing them was something else. 

"You're an Angel."

Michael sighed. This was no time for the conversation that would follow the discovery of an angel by a human. They needed to get the humans to safety. However, he had seen this reaction all too often and the vicar would not be moving without an explanation. 

"I am the Archangel Michael. I have fallen to earth last night. This is Pip, he is a guardian Angel. To be able to come and go they take the form of Pigeons. Some people have more than one guardian pigeon as they can only do so much being small. Also, humanity considers them vermin and kills them. So it is always important to ensure there are more pigeons on standby"

"Does that mean all the pigeon crap in the tower is angel poo?"

That was a new one. "Technically yes, but it comprises of the sin absorbed by the guardian angel from their subject. They take it on board to minimise the impact on the soul."

Stephen nodded. He apparently had a church tower full of sin, crapped out by angels. The church started shaking and Michael grabbed Stephen and pushed him out. Pip followed. As they ran across the churchyard the church exploded. Michael shielded the vicar with his wings taking the full force of the blast.

Everyone in the village, ran to the church. Stephen turned to view his ruined church. This was going to take a lot more than £100,000 to fix. However, an angel and a pigeon stood by the ruins. Behind them walking out of the rubble came a winged beast, with fangs and burned skin. A demon had destroyed his church.

The villagers started pointing and screaming. "Here we go" Michael said thinking they were stunned to see Angels. Explaining their presence to humans in the modern era was tiresome at best. At least in the olden days people believed in God and Angels and would accept their presence without much drama. 

However, before he launched in to the 'do not fear' speech he felt a presence behind him and turned as the demon emerged from the church ruins. "Lucifer, get here now and control your minions."

At the sound of the name Lucifer the villagers started running for cover making sure their phones were live streaming on social media. Stephen tried his best to calm the villagers but the appearance of demons and angels in a sleepy English village wasn't the sort of thing that led to calm. 

Michael drew his sword, prepared for battle. Pip, flew by his side. However, the number of demons started increase and Michael realised that somehow a rift to the underworld had formed. He hoped the pigeons would arrive soon they needed the back up. 

Stephen didn't know what to do. Some kind of celestial battle was about to start in his church yard. The bishop would never believe him. Although with the amount of filming taking place, hopefully it would bring people back to the church, if this wasn't deemed a hoax and if anyone lived. He needed to try something.

"Excuse me, do you mind if we take this away from my church?"

He was answered by a demon who screamed loudly forcing him backwards. He realised it would be better to leave this to the angels. Although would two angels be able to defeat the increasing number of demons? They were in a lot of trouble.

Michael swung his sword at the first demon. The blade was forged from the finest heavenly metals and had been a gift from his father, it had served him well. The thing with demons was they did not tend to be the best fighters. They lacked discipline and had no training. However, vast numbers would do their damage. He had to protect the humans.

The first few demons were dispatched but soon their greater numbers started to have an impact. Stephen looked on in fear as Michael was struck by a demon and blood started coming from his left shoulder. Before long the angels were surrounded by demons and he struggled to see what was happening.

He wanted to do something, so he did the only thing a vicar did in times of trouble, he prayed. 

Margot and Dave rounded up as many of the others as possible and led them back to the church. A few others set out to round up more Guardian Pigeons. The villagers looked on in confusion as several hundred pigeons, swooped down to the church and started attacking the demons. 


"What's that brother?"

Michael threw off several demons and turned as his brother Lucifer touched down by a grave stone. "Is this your doing?"

Lucifer drew a sword of his own and took a swing which Michael dodged. As he turned out of the way and Lucifer took out one of the demons who had been about to stab him in the back with a claw. "Not exactly. I may have mentioned that I might be returning to heaven and they got a little annoyed. They are going through a rebellious phase. You know what children are like."

"Well do you want to send them to their dungeons?"

Lucifer smiled. "They don't listen to me any more. Feel like I have abandoned them. We are going to have to fight them."

Lucifer and Michael stood side by side with the pigeons and fought the demons. Stephen was horrified as what remained of the church crumbled around him. However, the demons appeared to be losing and they were retreating in to the rift below the altar. After a while bloodied and bruised Michael and Lucifer stood side by side, with Pip, Margot and Dave behind them. They stared down in to the chasm below the altar and stared down in to hell. 

"We need to seal the rift" Michael said. A couple of hours some Holy water and pigeon poo later the rift was sealed. Michael and Lucifer walked out of the ruined church. The entire battle streamed across social media and mainstream channels also ran with the story. This may be difficult to fix.. 

Stephen stared at what was left of his church and smiled. Ordinarily, he would have been dismayed but Angels were real and the Devil was back in God's good books. Granted he had no church or home as it lay in ruins before him but God was real and angels were among us, granted in the form of pigeons but they were here. He needed a cup of tea. 

Michael knew that although this might restore humanities faith in the father, this needed to be stopped from going any further. He summoned Gabriel and the other Archangels and they set about erasing videos and memories. Between them they rebuilt the church and they set time back to just about the same time everything went wrong. 

Michael, and Pip offered to stay behind to ensure that everything was as it should be. Taking human form and returning to his bat out of hell T-Shirt Michael started walking amongst the villagers. 

They were happily wandering round stalls, throwing balls at coconuts, and wet sponges at the village councillors. Oblivious to the battle that had taken place a few moments before. Michael stopped at the donkey cart rides, waiting for Patch and Ryan to return. He knew the donkeys would keep the secret. There had always been a close bond between donkeys and heaven and he wanted to check they were ok. Both reported being fine and Ryan detailed how he kicked a few demons during the battle. 

Michael smiled satisfied that everything was as it should be. "Pip. I need you to keep an eye on this church. I fell to earth and a rift opened. We have no idea what caused it, or if it may happen again."

"You got it. We will guard the church."

A few hours later and the fete ended. It had been a good day, they would still be short of their target but they could get some urgent repairs done. As he walked among the grave stones, he glanced up at the broken clock tower and was taken aback to see that it showed the correct time. 

Turns out the angels had gone a little too far with the repairs.

May 31, 2021 23:15

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